I was extremely excited when I happened upon this site. I have suffered anxiety and panic attacks for 25 plus years and finding this site has finally made me realize I am not alone in this. I am working on the first weeks homework. I also started a blog. How does this work exactly? Has anybody seen real progress? I must admit I had a relatively anxiety free weekend, only to fall back into the same rut the last 2 days.
Please feel free to write, comment or just say hello.
Thank you Davit and Samantha for your supportive welcome. I am still in the 1st week of the Panic Program. I really like what I have done so far. I think it will help. Of course I have to do some work also.
I can relate to the feeling. I recently had to leave a flight because I couldn't breathe. Thankfully the plane was still on the tarmac and they let me get off. I was supposed to be training for a new position which involved travel to clients sites around the country. The 1st trip was an hour flight on a small jet. I've flown on bigger jets with some anxiety, but I get through it. This one no way. I froze in the aisle and wouldn't sit down. Finally my coworker said if you're sick get off and I'll go alone. I was so relieved, yet very frustrated and depressed for days after. My promotion is no longer, but I still have a job. My employer was sympathetic and supportive. One of my goals is to be able to comfortably fly, take long car rides and do all the things I have put off because of anxiety or panic attacks.
Today is one week in and I'm already starting to challenge my negative thinking. Doing the anxious thoughts and Panic Attack forms have been extremely helpful as I never had any reason to breakdown what I was thinking. I've been reading through all the posts and I've come to understand I'm not the the only one who feels this way. I thought I was terminally unique in my anxiety. Reading of others, and knowing they all lived through the anxiety attack, as I always have, seems to take away from the attack itself. I think part of my progress will be to not give the attacks so much importance. It's like they take on a life of their own. I give them an identity. Thanks again for everybody's support.
I am finding the daily diary and daily blogging have really been helping me to understand my thought process. Which totally stinks, by the way. My negative thoughts had become automatic. Writing about them really brings them to reality and when I look at them I can see the pattern and hopefully, out of this, I can start to break that cycle. The thought of dying is often present and at times controls my thoughts, especially when in the midst of an attack. I don't think living everyday with thoughts of dying is really living. Life is a journey not a destination, I have to remember that. Live in today. It seems a lot of work, but definitely worth it.
I am finally starting to feel better health wise. I've been out of work most of this week with pneumonia in my right lung. This is 2 times sick this month. 2 weeks ago the flu and apparently this is a byproduct of that. Out of work until I see the doctor on Monday morning. I'm surprised with all this down time I haven't had more anxiety. Only 3 attacks this week and overall anxiety less than 5.
Thanks Sylvie. I haven't gotten that far yet in the program. Still on 2.
I was amazed when I read of the thought process that was referred as 'fear goggles'. That idea almost 100% sums up my thought process when in the midst of an attack, I think 'panic goggles' is probably closest to my thought process.
Does anybody else have experience with their reaction to external stimuli being warped during an attack? I can be so focused on one paticular thing, and be oblivious to something right in front of me. Thats when I get the feeling like I'm going crazy.
I'd be extremely interested if anybody could share their experience and suggestions for dealing with negative thoughts or if you have a mantra or meditation piece that helps you get your thoughts in perspective.
I find I have more SAD then winter blues. I try to walk at lunch, sometimes through unplowed sidewalks, but I feel so much better when I do. I get very anxious during big snowstorms, and I live in the NE USA, so we get a lot. I have to force myself to get out on a snowy night, even if it's just to sit on the porch and watch the storm. I notice the people who do a winter activity seem to not have as much winter blues. I used to play hockey, ski and totally enjoy the winters, but started having attacks doing both activities, so I stopped. Having this site to write to gives me hope I won't feel so alone this winter when I'm stuck inside.
In my opinion if you found this site and were willing to start working on it, you are in the right place. I am only in week 2 and through the worksheets I have found I was ruled by negative thoughts. I fill out all the forms, record in the daily diary and try to blog every day, which I keep on here. I have aleady seen positive results. I am also involved in a 12 step program and they seem to compliment each other nicely. I also am working on developing a better spiritual program, which I won't go into here, but it also seems to help.
Seeing my thoughts on paper really helps me to see the automatic (negative) thinking process I had developed as a result of 25 plus years of anxiety. This is the first time I have really felt hope that I will be able to live a normal, anxiety free life.
Thanks for bringing this topic up Samantha. I am a recovering alcoholic and last night I had the strongest urge to drink in the 3 years I've been sober. I used to drown the anxiety with alcohol, which only fueled the anxiety more, but drinking was a temporary relief. I almost sought that relief again. I go to AA meetings regularly, work that program too and see a counselor. I just get tired of always being on the edge of what feels like insanity. I did wake up this morning very grateful I didn't drink last night. I wasn't really anxious yesterday which makes me a little scared that I might get the urge when I'm more anxious and I don't know if I'll be able to stave it off. I would love to hear from others who have similar issues.
I am so tired of fighting the constant cycle of anxiety/addiction/self esteem.