EvolutionHealth.care

Home
Members List
Member View
Posts created by ~m

Advanced Search Form

Members List
Moderation Team
Member View
Posts created by ~m

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 376

Week Prep

Sorry

One of my promises to myself was to not whine and complain, because in fact I am very grateful for this site, the Health Educators, the wisdom and openess of the members. I do not wish I never started the program. I am very excited that this late in life, I am learning that I don't have to just "live with it" or "Just manage it" ... but can change the way my brain reacts. I can DO something about this debilitating problem. It will take time. I have a lot to learn. I can do this with patience and grace and an occasional freak out

I'm cool. sorta

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 376

Session 1 - How do you differentiate between emotion and thought?

OK. Thanks Davit... your response really answers my questions point on. I'm sure I'll have to read it several times to totally absorb it, but I think I see a little light

in the darkness of my understanding. I think I "get it" ... that would be nice. Thanks so much for your insight and clarity.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 376

Week Prep

Yes, I like that approach. It won't be the end of the world if my house isn't spotless and I buy some cookies instead of baking them. So what? I do the best I can and maybe next year I'll do more (or not). At least I put up a tree this year and decorated it with about a billion (slight exaggeration

) folded paper stars I have been making in an effort to keep my mind engaged and hands busy. Maybe I'll just give those out as gifts and be done with it.

Yes! Did I just change negative thoughts to positive ones? The events aren't any different, but how I feel about it is? And how I feel about it changed because my thoughts about it changed? Is that right?

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 376

I am so glad I found this site, I hope it will help!

Hi Cowgirl ... I was finally able to quit smoking this summer by using an e-cig which provides nicotine through inhaled vapors without any of the additives or chemicals that analog cigarettes have. I was able to gradually step down the nicotine levels to 0. So now when I crave a cigarette and cave in... I'm just "smoking" the vapor. It feels very much like inhaling a real cigarette. There is some controversy over their use. However, I was convinced to try it by my dentist who was lecturing me about the need to quit smoking. And my MD now recommends them to her other patients who are smokers. If you google e-cig forum you can get a lot of good information. I tried patches, pills, gum, etc.... did not really give the Evolution Health Stop Smoking site much of a chance, but I certainly would recommend checking it out especially for the education on the effects of smoking and support for quitting.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 376

Holiday Stress

I am managing my holiday stress by being here, doing the work, and being supported by people who not only care, but listen.... really, truly listen.

Christmas has always been difficult for me but I never fully "connected-the-dots" ... I get it now.

38 years ago today, 20,000 people died as the result of an earthquake in the city where I lived at the time. My family was immediately evacuated to the states... where, because we were privileged by citizenship, we "celebrated" the Christmas holidays. Most of my neighbors and friends and teachers were left to survive in a city with no infrastructure. Some did. Some didn't.

The CBT work that I've taken on here is teaching me how to be aware... of what I'm thinking and feeling and doing. This awareness has enabled me to finally understand why I hate Christmas so much. Why I feel shame when I get Christmas gifts. Why I sometimes feel it is so wrong for me to be alive. Why I feel so deeply saddened on this day.

Alcohol distances the pain. Anxiety camouflages it. Depression denies it. But the anxiety and sadness and terror and shame is all there still. It may be hidden, but it surely has ruled my life for a really long time.

Now, a door kept closed to protect myself, has been opened by these tools I am just learning to use... I have the tools to see; I have the tools to feel.; I have the tools to understand. And, remarkably, feel safe and calm while doing it.

This ... is how I'm managing my Christmas stress; by being here, doing the work, and being supported by you.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 376

Holiday Stress

Perhaps my post did not fully convey my intent....

Which was to share that for the first time I understand where all the Christmas angst came from and now that I know what the thoughts are about this tragedy.... I can let the guilt and sense of responsibility go... because, now as an adult I do understand that those feelings were misplaced. My thoughts, today, tell me that of course I had no responsibility for what happened.... I was a human being (and a kid at that) faced with a natural disaster. Using these new tools of cognitive awareness.... this stuff can now be fully felt and flow on out leaving memory but not devistation or paralyzing anxiety .....

anyway. this was supposed to be a positive post..... I guess I didn't say it very well. I'm sorry it came across negatively. Because this is huge. really, truly huge. A breakthrough for me which brings such a sense of relief. I wish I had conveyed that better.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 376

Holiday Stress

Oh, I love this poem Sunny! Thank you for posting it today. Perfect!

I'm sorry you guys are feeling down... I see your Christmas tree, Davit and your cactus flowers, Red and it makes me smile and feel very grateful for the beauty you so freely share here for the rest of us. I'm glad you are here today :)

Thank you Tiana & Davit for your response to my post. I always live in fear (imagine that?

) of my posts being totally ignored OR being read and eliciting a response. Guess I can't get all the kinks in my brain worked out at once. Anyways....

To answer the question about perceiving the holidays differently... yes, I believe it will. I spend a lot of energy dreading the holidays because of the non-specific fear shrouding that whole time of year. Of course, there will be always be sadness (for that tragedy so long ago, for M being gone, for life in general being less than perfect, etc., etc.,etc.) Clearing out the fear leaves room for so much more... I would think... I hope.

How did this come to me? You know those baby steps everyone keeps talking about? It was a series of teeny-tiny steps so small as to be almost not moving at all.............. I need to think this through and journal it so I won't forget. Thanks for asking the question. It will help my awareness of the process.

Thank you all for your encouragement, sharing, and support. I feel like this is my BIG Christmas present this year

and I don't feel ashamed accepting it! Progress

(now if I could just learn how to spell or at least use the spell check... sheesh!)

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 376

It was kidney stones

Thanks for the update David. I'm so glad you found out what it was and have a plan for follow-up treatment. Your experience here is a really good reminder for all of us to find the balance. Not just dismiss our fears and worries, but to respect them (they are real and make us feel awful) and question them...

I'm not saying this right, but the old adage that just because you are paranoid doesn't mean nobody is after you... rings true here. I struggle with total black and white thinking so I would have dismissed the physical as "just" the result of fear. We do need to listen and question and be gentle with ourselves. I think that is important.

I mean, if you tell a small child.... "oh, you are fine your fears are not real"... it just makes the child feel dismissed, stupid, unimportant. If you listen and question and examine the fear with the child... it either is proven true or it isn't and can then be let go of. That's what I think anyway. That's what I'm trying to do with myself. Take the time to show respect and understanding and not just dismiss my pain as not real.

Does this make any sense?

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 376

Obsessive-compulsive disorder

Davit, you wrote:

My staph came back and is now considered Chronic, I'm determined to find a cure and unlike the thoughts that caused the worry that sent me to the psych ward, I'm using finding a cure as a focus to keep panic at bay.

Your whole story is incredibly powerful. I am touched that you are so willing to share your pain and the lessons you have learned with the rest of us. What a gift. The quote above from your ps to your story really shows how it is possible to turn life circumstances around... see them differently... gain strength and wisdom from them. Doesn't make the circumstances any different, but the CBT does give us the tools to USE these experiences in a positive manner. Yes? We can learn to control (with a lot of work) our thoughts and feelings... and not be totally helpless/overwhelmed in the face of them?

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 376

Boredom and Panic

Hi Spartan... sometimes it helps to switch roles a little bit and pretend a friend is feeling this discombobulated and asking for some help. What might you tell her? What might you offer in the way of commiseration, compassion, comfort.... Is there something calming or maybe fun you might suggest? Ok, I admit it sounds weird but it helps me when I think of myself as someone else. I'm a lot kinder and generally more compassionate. Just some thoughts ...

today's top discussions:

This Month’s Leaders:

Most Supportive

Most Active

Most Loved