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12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 250

Indecision with Too Many Options - What do you Do?

I am facing a lot of indecision as well. I am finding it harder and harder to cope with my anxiety at my job. I have had a lot of time off due to the Christmas holidays so it has been about 2-1/2 weeks since I was at work and I am terrified to go back tomorrow. Sometimes holidays are not that great, too much off time to worry.

My stomach is filled with a raving ocean!

It makes me wonder if I am in the right field. I work in a family drop in centre working with children from infant to 12 years. I am scared and panicky because sometimes things get way out of control and there are a few kids who have behaviour issues and rage issues. I feel like I am walking on egg shells a lot of the time. I am not on my own but there isn't a lot of team work right now.

I realized last night after talking with my husband that I should not have upgraded and gone to college for 2-1/2 years. I should have remained at a lesser position with less responsibility. I am an Early Childhood Educator level 2 now, but I was a Child Care Assistant many years ago until the government requirements changed and we needed new training. A free college course came along and I jumped at it. Now I wish I hadn't. I miss just going to work and doing a shift and leaving. I used to be able to cope so much better before. Now I have to plan activities, crafts, behaviour management etc. I feel like I made a huge mistake. I do get paid more money with this job but money isn't everything.

But, is that just my anxiety speaking? I am good enough at my job but I am constantly worried.

I am contemplating changing fields to doing administrative support or volunteer management doing some kind of charity work.

I listen to podcasts from a Buddhist monk named Ajahn Brahm and he has always said "If you don't know what to do, do nothing". I have taken that advice and now I am faced with returning to work and I am panicky. I don't want to go at all.

I am so scared. Is my indecision from my anxiety or is it a real concern that I need to change jobs?

It's so hard to know.

Sunflower

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 250

Indecision with Too Many Options - What do you Do?

I think I tend to run away. So maybe the new career is a way to escape.

I don't know if my environment is toxic but it is a lot of stress. I worry though about making a change!

A lottery win would come in handy about now :)

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 250

Indecision with Too Many Options - What do you Do?

My day back was good. I tried not to have many expectations which helped. I also listened to some Buddhist talks by Ajahn Brahm which helped. He mentioned one of the favourite things he has learned was that "doing something is easy, thinking about them is hard". So the more we think, the worse we assume. As for creativity, there is some but there is pressure to plan good activities for the kids but it isn't that hard. Pros for my job- close to home, good pay, good pension, good hours, its what I trained for, and it is with kids Cons- stress, chaos, lack of recognition I suppose, and I am worried about my physical health, this isn't a job that I could do until I retire. I think my anxiety comes from being afraid of not being able to cope. I know I need a confidence boost too. All in all, it went well. I think the support here is amazing, thank you all so much. Sunflower

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 250

Hope

I am kind of stuck right now.

I am still panicky and filled with dread and anxiety about my job. I wonder if I will ever feel alright.

I am in a job that is driving me crazy but am terrified of making a change to a new one! I really don't know how to cope.

I want to just have a job that I go to and do, not one that preoccupies so much of my off time.

Sunflower

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 250

Hope

Thank you everyone for the tips. I am going to take some extra time this weekend to reflect in a positive way and figure things out.

I recently listened to a meditation by Tara Brach called No Mud No Lotus. It really helped. Basically without suffering and pain we couldn't awaken or heal.

I also found out that the birth control pills that I am on are not recommended for anyone with panic, anxiety and depression! My doctor must have missed that. So I am going off them and going to get back to being natural, eating better, exercising etc.

Thanks everyone!

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 250

Brain Freeze anyone?

I think everyone has their days :) I think humour needs to come up when things like that happen. I have been trying to watch more positive shows etc so I can be positive. I am really trying to learn how to laugh at myself. It's tough but it is worth it.

My husband calls those moments brain toots.

Sunflower

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 250

Hope

I don't really need to be on the pill, I have been on them for acne prevention and just cycle regulation. Pregnancy is not a risk for me as I am going through menopause at 35. I started back on the pill about 3 years ago because of heavy periods, cysts, pain etc. I think I will go off the pill as they are not doing me any favours. I just hate having the acne but I will have to address the acne instead.

Thanks

Sunflower.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 250

Hope

Thank you so much for the kind words, I really appreciate them :) I also listen to Peggy Cappy's Relaxation series. She also does easy yoga which I love.

I am not used to advocating for myself but I figure better late than never :)

Take care everyone and enjoy the meditations. By the way, is Talaria a company or an artist? I would love to look it up.

Sunflower

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 250

Hope

I will take a look now, thanks :D

Sunflower

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 250

Your Top 3- Inspirational Reads

I read a lot. I love reading. It's one of the things that helps me cope.

I like to read fiction to escape, and self-help ones to cope.

Fiction: Maureen Lee and Maeve Binchy are my favourites.

Coping books: Who Ordered This Truckload of Dung by Ajahn Brahm, When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chodron, Feel the Fear and Do It Anyways by Susan Jeffers, Faith by Sharon Salzberg and Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach.

Sunflower

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