EvolutionHealth.care

Home
Members List
Member View
Posts created by Sally

Advanced Search Form

Members List
Moderation Team
Member View
Posts created by Sally

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 121

Another Newbie

Hello,

After much research, I ended up here. I am hopeful that the program and CBT will be helpful (If I just stick with it!).

A bit of history, up until a year and a half ago, I had never suffered from depression of any kind. I was very level, calm, rational, and happy most of the time. I was never manic (too happy/high/euphoric), and I was never depressed. Starting a year and a half ago, I started feeling funny, kind of down all the time. It took almost 5 months, but slowly, day by day, I ended up quite depressed. I honestly did not recognize it as depression. This spring, I went to my local doctor to get to the bottom of feeling so bad all the time, and the doctor could find nothing. That's when the doc suggested depression.

I think the depression may have been triggered by a car accident and compounded by stress from school (I was at a local univ. for my BA degree) since the down feeling started after that. I was hoping I would feel better after I graduated (Dec>), but no luck, in fact, I got worse after graduation. I have not been going to school or working since Dec. 2009, and I have had no improvement. It is frustrating since I was always so fine emotionally before this episode.

My doc put me on Zoloft, and within 1 day, I felt amazing! But a few days later, the Zoloft triggered a very scary manic episode (delusions of granduer, racing thoughts, didn't need to sleep, and all). That was almost scarier than the depression! The doc then tried me on Lexapro with a 1 day break in between. I immediately switch to a depressive state on the day off the meds, and within one day felt much better on the Lexapro. However, the Lexapro made my hypomanic (very mild mania). My doc was worried about a manic episode again, so she sent me to a psych doc for medication help.

The psych doc diagnosed me as bipolar (go figure), and stopped the Lexapro and started Lithium. Well, after 3 weeks, I was completely back to the full depressive feelings with a lot of very sick Lithium side effect feelings to go with it. Yuck. He wanted me to stay on the Lithium, but I was feeling so seriously sick from it that I have started weaning myself off. It has been 1 week on a much lower Lithium dose and I am feeling 100% better from the side effects, but the depression is still there.

I actually have another appt. with the psych doc tomorrow to try and ask him for help with a different set of meds. I really wish he would treat the depression first. Lithium is usllay used as a main treatment for mania, not depression. I am really hoping he will prescribe an antidepressant along with a mood stabalizer (since I tent to go manic on antidepressants).

In addition to all of this medication fun, I have seen a counsellor on 4 seperate occasions. She does "talk therapy"," which I am not finding helpful at all. I enjoy our talks, but I always feel like I am right where I started after our sessions. I really hope some of the more concrete homework activities on this site will lead to actual changes in myself. I am also going to a local depression/bipolar support group once a week. I do like that and find it helpful, hearing how other's are coping. The people in the support group are the ones who suggested I make another psy doc appt and get my meds changed.

I am supposed to be starting my graduate program at the local university this coming fall, and right now, just getting out of bed and getting dressed seems like a huge challenge. My main goal is to be functional by Sept so that I can do well in my courses. I was supossed to use this semester to find some part time work and get a little experince before the MA program started, but I

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 121

Another Newbie

Thank you for your response. I just find it amazing that a person who has no history of depression can be afflicted so severely in such a short time. The "triggers" do not even seem that significant (rear ended and school stress). I guess the timing was just right for depression to set in. I wish there was a "trigger" to make it go away!

I imagine the doctor will be quite upset with me tomorrow about me going off the meds (non-compliant), but it has been worth it to be free of the constant sick feeling from the Lithium. As amazing as it is to say, the depression is better than the side effects I had.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 121

Another Newbie

Thanks for your thoughts. My psych doc wasn't too upset when I saw him today. He is putting me on Lamictal. I have high hopes that this might work better. At least it is known for low side effects.

I have also started the "Activity Tracker." I am curious to know where it will lead but have chosen not to read ahead. : )

I am very excited about putting CBT to work for me.

Thanks for the welcome!

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 121

Me again...

Hi Diva,

I'm super new here, but something you said about sleep reminded me of my sister's experience. She was falling asleep all the time, even at work (she is an ER nurse). It got so bad that whenever she would sit down, she would immediately fall asleep. She ended up going to a sleep specialist and doing one of those sleep studies. I can't remember what they determined exactly, but they did find that she slept way too much (and it was not narcolepsy). The docs ended up putting her on Ritalin and it solved the whole problem! She is able to be awake and active during the day now and sleep just fine at night. I am not aware if she had depression or not at this time. I do know she still takes the Ritalin today to keep her awake during the day.

I guess what I am trying to say is hang in there and keep going back to the doctors. Given enough time, they sometimes come up with just the right solution, no matter how implausible it sounds.

Keep us posted about what your doctors learn about your sleep issue. I would love to hear more.

I am going back to school in the fall too!

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 121

Me again...

Hi Diva,

I just wanted to say that I also experience a lot of fear and anxiety about going to new places (even just driving a new way home fills me with panic, I always take the same paths/roads). Because of this, I make sure to take steps to reduce my fear as much as possible. For example, before I went back to school three years ago, I made sure to drive to campus several times during the summer to be very familiar with the commute before the first day of class. That way, I would not worry about getting lost and being late on the first day (getting lost and being late is my specialty!). I was able to see how long it took too to help me with the timing of my drive (I live over an hour away from campus). Once I was at the campus, I made sure to pick up a campus map and walk around, familiarizing myself with the layout of the buildings, where the food places were, and where the bathrooms were. This really helped to lessen my anxiety on the first day. Thankfully, I will be returning to the same campus this fall, so nothing new, yeah!

Good idea about the Panic Center. I should probably check that out too.

About failing or messing up, I think this is such an important issue, and one that is so hard to get over sometimes. I plan to be an ESL teacher someday (English as a Second Language), and so often, ESL students will be frozen with fear of making a mistake that they will not participate in class (which means they are not learning). I have this idea of making a reward chart for "mistakes" in my class to encourage the students to make mistakes and participate. I want to keep track of each person's wrong answers (in a silly and fun way) and whoever gets the most will win some sort of prize at the end of the day. I am a strong believer that mistakes are an important step in learning a new language (and probably in learning or doing anything else). As a teacher, I want my students to make mistakes and make lots of them. Then we will work on those mistakes as a team.

Maybe we could somehow apply that idea to ourselves? Like each time we make a mistake, think..."Yay! I am on my way to learning or accomplishing something!" I find that when I am not making mistakes, I am not trying or doing anything. Inactivity and just staying in my comfort zone is a very safe, boring, depressing, mistake-free place to be.

So I hope you go out there and make some really fun, awsome mistakes and know that everything will be ok no matter what. Plus, I have found that if you ask, there are a lot of people who will help out, including everything from navigating the buses to getting around campus to whatever else you need. Sometimes we just need to ask.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 121

Me again...

Hi Ashley,

I would be happy to start the thread. Which category do I put it under?

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 121

Celebrating our Mistakes

Many times, we beat ourselves up about our failures in life, our mistakes, when in actuality, we must make mistakes to learn and move forward.

This thread is a place for all of us to post what our most recent mistakes have been, how we handled them, and how the mistakes brought us closer to a goal or what we learned from the mistakes.

As the saying goes, "Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment." So let's celebrate our failures and mistakes (our bad judgment) as a way towards experience and wisdom.

This is a cross-post from another message thread I was participating in that relates to this idea:

"About failing or messing up, I think this is such an important issue, and one that is so hard to get over sometimes. I plan to be an ESL teacher someday (English as a Second Language), and so often, ESL students will be frozen with fear of making a mistake that they will not participate in class (which means they are not learning). I have this idea of making a reward chart for "mistakes" in my class to encourage the students to make mistakes and participate. I want to keep track of each person's wrong answers (in a silly and fun way) and whoever gets the most will win some sort of prize at the end of the day. I am a strong believer that mistakes are an important step in learning a new language (and probably in learning or doing anything else). As a teacher, I want my students to make mistakes and make lots of them. Then we will work on those mistakes as a team."

Maybe we could somehow apply that idea to ourselves? Like each time we make a mistake, think..."Yay! I am on my way to learning or accomplishing something!"

I find that when I am not making mistakes, I am not trying or doing anything. Inactivity and just staying in my comfort zone is a very safe, boring, depressing, mistake-free place to be.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 121

Celebrating our Mistakes

I will start:

Just a few days ago, I decided to tackle some paperwork that I had been putting off. I had a job acceptance letter (a little job at the university) that I needed to return. I noticed (for the first time) that the letter had a due date on it, and the due date was for the following day! Since I live so far away from campus, mailing it might take 2 days, so, in a panic, I called the department and told them my predicament. I really wanted the job, but I didn't think they would get the acceptance letter in time. I was prepared to rearrange my whole schedule that day to drive down to the university and turn it in by hand.

Thankfully, after speaking with someone there, they reassured me that I could give my acceptance over the phone, and if I got the letter postmarked by the due date, I would be ok. Feeling much relieved, I ran to the post office and mailed it right away.

When I discovered the due date, I felt like a failure since I had the letter for over 2 weeks already. I had more than enough time to mail it back. I felt all hope was lost and started to experience anxiety and panic. But, I stayed calm and rational enough to call and ask for help. Just by asking, I was able to get an exception and everything turned out ok.

In the end, I have learned that I must read all paperwork more closely for things like due dates. If I had seen the due date, I would have put it on my calendar to take care of it in time. Because of this, I have also decided to purchase a large filing cabinet to help me get my piles of papers organized so they don't end up all mixed up together in a jumbled heap, leaving important, time-sensitive papers lost. And most importantly, I have learned to not be afraid to ask for help. The worst thing someone can say is "No, I can't help you." But often, they say something much better, so I have to be bold enough to ask. I would have never imagined that the school administration would have made an exception for me. It was a pleasant surprise.

Thankfully, this mistake of mine has a happy ending. Not all mistakes do, but usually they have a lesson for us about behavior change so that we can avoid similar mistakes in the future.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 121

Celebrating our Mistakes

Well, thanks to my "mistake," I am now the owner of a tall, 4 drawer filing cabinet to help me get all my papers organized (thank you nice man from Craiglist!). I have been meaning to do this for over a year, but the depression had me locked into immobility. I think my new meds plus working through the session here have helped me get out of being "stuck." I know I would not have been able to respond to the advertisment and drive 45 min. to get it before. Now I just need to start filling it.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 121

Meaningful posts

Thank you! You are so sweet!

Evolution Health is not a healthcare provider and does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you are currently thinking about or planning to harm yourself or someone else please call 911 or go to the nearest hospital emergency room.

ABOUT

EVIDENCE

CONTACT

PRIVACY

Session Timeout Warning

It’s been a while since you were active on this site. Please extend your session below

You have been logged out due to inactivity.

Please sign back in.

We use cookies to help us learn about how our platform is used and how we can improve your experience. To learn more please see our Privacy Policy and Terms of Use.

More Information

today's top discussions:

This Month’s Leaders:

Most Supportive

Most Active

Most Loved