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pbetterman
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4 years ago 0 pbetterman 1 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo
Having short conversations with people

Hello Agua,

I feel exactly the same as you... When I knew nothing about anxiety this was by far the hardest to bear.
Some situations are harder than others, going to the gym for ex. is very hard for me... All the "macho poses" quickly get me into fight or flight mode... I also compare alot to the times I was not feeling this way.

I am a man, and talking to other men is harder for me than to women... I started doing exposure work with women... Just giving compliments to beautiful women on the street... Than on shops, then starting small conversations... Do you know what happened? I actually did go on dates with some of these women... I still feel alot of fear doing this, but when I talk to my friends about it, they say they would feel to, if they were doing it...


The main thing is that I feel I am gradually losing the fear of sounding stupid or being rejected by this women and this is substantially reducing my anxiety approach...

My next step is to start practising small talk with men... I think it will be tougher for me, but its worth the effort ;)

My advice to you is do it focusing on the process and not on the results... Try doing it in a different city or area that you are. It will be easier in the beginning if you think you will probably not see this person again.

And I agree with you, in some periods its good to train accepting the silence and being present to the feelings you´re having in that moment.

Hope This Helps!