For those of you who know me I would like to say I have had a modicum of success. One of the things that cause me to have attacks was going into buildings that simulated where I used to work a long time ago. My only chance to challenge this attack was to go to a support group once a week for one hour. I know this is not the way to do exposure work as presented in session 4 and 5 but it was the only opportunity I had. However, on Monday for the first time I was able to have a reduction of symptoms after the attack. This is the first time in 25 years that this has happened. It now gives me clear proof that all my explanations for the attack in the past were incorrect.  Before I started my journey, I did not know what a panic attack was and what symptoms it could cause. Now I can fill the thought challenge sheet and say that my symptoms do not last all day when I am in the building 100% of the time. I can know go into the building with the thought that the building is not dangerous and is not causing my symptoms.

Dizzy

Ashley

In my experience, there have not been many people in my life trying to give me self-esteem.  Another problem is that when someone did I would take what they said as disingenuous (I know this is a cognitive distortion).  In my support group I go to (and I am sure you are going to say this as part of your self-esteem thread) we give ourselves a pat on the back for every attempt at some cognitive restructuring. Basically when you have done a negative thought sheet and identified a more positive tilt on the thought, and you use this new thought in a situation. You use the positive thought to change your thinking pattern to an old negative thought or situation you pat yourself on the back for just an attempt at trying to change your old habit or thought. In this way you are not waiting for someone else to pat you on the back you are doing it yourself. A kind of funny thing happened to me I had identified that I should stop seeing the right and wrong in what people are saying to me. Every time I started to try to point out to my father my thought on a subject as being write and therefore his as being wrong I would stop myself from saying the statement. My father misconstrued this situation as I would begin to start talking and then stop because in had caught myself trying to prove what he said was wrong,  My father thought that when I was stopping myself from expressing my thought that this was anxiety an inability (brain freeze) to say what I wanted. When in fact I was changing my thinking to stop trying to find the right and wrong in trivial situations. Therefore, where I was changing my thinking using CBT the other person misinterpreted it as a form of anxiety.

Dizzy 

 I have been doing a lot of work on exposing myself to thoughts, because I have attack in bed and cannot do gradual exposure work like going near a crowded mall as a first step to being in a crowed. I either get in bed or never go to sleep again “which I have been considering” just joking. I find myself have epiphanies every couple of days I even went back to session 1 and 2 and got some new insight after working on myself for awhile. When I had an epiphany, I think this is going to be the answer to my attacks in bed.

What usually follows is a sleepless night anxious that I have solved the problem by finding that one last crucial negative thought. Being awake for a good, deal of the night allows me to ruminate about things and this is where I start getting into trouble. As the morning goes along and it gets closer to getting out of bed, I postulate that I become more anxious because I want to get out of bed without having an attack. Once this thought hits my mind this generally is the trigger to an attack. Imagine not wanting an attack causes an attack (I know someone in the forum got over attack by saying come on give me one), overall I am generally not afraid of an attack I score around 2 most of the time. Except on days when I anticipate that I have solved all the problems related to my attacks in bed, and have one, I get angry for having one which make the intensity go up on days.

So I started thinking what could I do with my time in bed when I awake that would be more productive then thinking about whether I solved all the negative thinking I need to, to stop the attacks. I started postulating that I could distract myself by thinking of a song or doing yoga in my mind. However, after reading session 6 you say not to distract yourself before exposure. I am having a hard time with this because I cannot expose myself to a moderate level of anxiety to going to bed in fact I probably have little anxiety when I go to bed it is just when I wake up that is the problem. Maybe I can get Michael Jackson doctor to drug me up to stay asleep, just kidding. I really cannot expose myself right now to much more thinking about wanting no panic attacks. I see it from both sides I want to go back to work so there lies the problem but if I never went back to work, I would still like them to stop, so I do not see going back to work as the problem.

I know one solution on the internet is to want to have an attack, in this way you are saying I am not afraid of you. For people that have exposed themselves to their thoughts or anyone with suggestions as what I can do, please forward a self addressed envelope that I have sent you and reply to post office box P.O. PANIC SESSOIN 6, just kidding again. I am wondering if anyone had success to exposing themselves to their thought as a way of eliminating panic did it stop abruptly or did you go 2 days then 3 and gradually get out of the panic cycle. I think one of my problems is I am trying to find that one universal thought that would stop them. I used to think once I found this thought that I could use it to stop all attacks from occurring in the future but I know this is unrealistic because the future always changes and so will my thoughts

Dizzy, can anyone notice I did not get much sleep last night