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Posts created by dizzy

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 118

Quick question

Hi Sea

I believe my last post i left you could lead to misinterpretation. Take any of the suggestions other people gave you and make a decision that this is the way i am going to do it. For example make the decision to drive to your doctors and then sit in the car and do some boxed breathing. Then if you feel you can go into your doctors and box breathe there to if you become anxious. Or do what ever you can but decide, plan and act. When you make no decision it allows anticipation to fester and provoke sensation and leads to a sense of having no control. If you have a sense of control over the situation then your anticipation anxiously will be reduced. This is basically what the program tells you to do when doing exposure work. It says to make the exposure your decision and how much your going to do. But forget what i just said i think you are not ready for this session yet. However, you could go to the relaxation toolbox session and follow its directions and use these techniques to get you through vising your doctor. To rap up if you can decide to go two block in your car pull over and do some relax breathing. Then go further and stop and do some relaxed breathing. This is where the decision to go, the plan to handle the anxiety by relaxed breathing, and finally commit yourself to do it. Do what ever you think you can handle right now.

hope this helps

Dizzy

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 118

What does a support person mean to you?

Ashley asked me if my father was supportive for me. My question is what does support mean to you. Here is the way I think about our illness. It is CBT, medication, or the help of a professional that we use to help ourselves. I think I must learn to be able to conquer my fears by myself. If I did have a support person and they were gone, I would not have developed the tools to keep myself mentally well. I am I no way putting down someone that has a safety person to help them get over their fears but eventually you are going to have to do what you fear yourself. CBT is not a one shot deal that cures what we are thinking now and we will never need it again. All I can think of that a support person should do is accepting what we are trying to do and give encouragement and perhaps they could provide some insight where our false beliefs lie. This would also help me to think about what I want out of a relationship. Perhaps I want too much or perhaps I should be seeking more. What does a support person mean to you?

Dizyy

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 118

Relations/Resolving Disputes

Hi Red

I also was working on communication tool box becuase I thought, and rightly so that 25 years of anxiety had to have turned me into a non assertive person. Although i did not know it at the time before i had read about communication. I applaud your willingness to change and ability to see the way to move forward could not be happier for you.

Dizzy

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 118

What does a support person mean to you?

I think the interesting thread here is that a support person means different things to different people. Since we all have different problems from the same mental problem. I also see in loves tees response that a support person role can change as we change interesting dialogue. Gives me something to ponder instead of looking for a specific kind of support perhaps the best support is one that changes with you.

Dizzy

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 118

Negative verses Positive

Hi Red

I am going to tell you about what happened to me. If you remember, I asked women out and she said that after our next yoga class that we would go for a walk and coffee. In my mind, I was preparing for frustration in that I considered the possibility that we went out and it did not click it would be over and I was fine with that. The second possibility was that we go out and we become good friends and I was fine with that. The third possibility was that she would not show up to the yoga class. This goes to my core belief that people treat me as defective, mentally ill, dangerous because I am mentally ill. The third possibility was fed by my negative core belief about how others see me. If she did not show up it was because she was avoiding me and thought I was mentally ill and dangerous and she did not want to associate with me.

While I bet you can guess what happened next, she did not show up to the yoga class. I was instantly propelled into my negative core belief of myself because as I said above if she did not show up she was avoiding me on purpose. At the time when I first found out that she did not show up I instantly reacted from my negative core belief. I have learned that we are allowed a startle reaction to the situation and that is what happened at first. However, since I now recognize this as my core belief after the initial startle (she avoiding me because I am mentally ill) I started possessing the entire situation because I had identified my startle reaction as coming from my negative core belief.

I started thinking that she does not know I am mentally ill. She just bought a house and maybe there was another explanation for her not coming to yoga class. People do thing that annoy us, not to annoy us. Even if she did not show up and I am right, about how I think she was thinking then the event is over and I have to change my attitude towards it. That my whole explanation of why she did not come is possible but not probable, that I had identified the reason why she would not come, came from my negative core belief. I know that my belief that some people are going to treat mental illness as a negative but not all people. I guess what I am trying to say if you have identified a negative core belief right now you are allowed a startle reaction when someone cause you to think negatively, we are not perfect and should not expect a perfect initial response to a situation.

However because I have identified my negative core belief I was able to process what happened from a different perspective. I guess I was you using the thought sheet in my mind at the time. After processing as I said above I was not left in my negative core belief and ruminating about it for the entire day. I was able to come up with alternative explanations because I recognized my belief about what happened was created entirely in my mind. There is no proof of my belief yet, and if my belief is right it is her problem not mine people that know me say I am funny and a pleasure to be around.

To answer you I had an initial set back a startle reaction how I kept it from causing me anxiety, as I was able to process it in my mind challenging my belief. I have decided that no matter what the actual truth is that I am not going to isolate myself from other people because I realize that my isolation come from my negative core belief and I can now challenge it. The way to challenge the negative thought is to become proficient in it is to use a thought record in your mind at the time it happens. I bet you can come up with alternative explanation to your negative thought, and if you cannot decide to not process it until you get home and use the thought sheet provided. The more and more you do it the easier it becomes and just doing it once will not get rid of your core belief. I think that you may have some kind of core belief about isolation and you have to decide to challenge it a kind of exposure if you will. This is why I am still on session three because many of my problems come from the bottom of the toolbox about relationships or lack of them. I did read session four and I guess just asking this person out was exposure for me.

I will tell you one thing is that I sure did not want to write this but I also believe writing it is exposure to my thoughts.

You friend

Dizzy

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 118

New kid on the Block

Hi PTO

I echo what Sunny said about makin a presentation as I had to address the entire group of members from a non for profit mental agency. The one thing to add to Sunny posts that nay help you is to think that the people listening want you to do a good job as much as you want to. I other words they are not looking for your failure they are not against you when you present your presentation. Do not try to be perfect and the anxiety will melt away its the perception of what if I blunder and what will the people think of me if I do. They will think if I had to do it I would not make a perfect presentation either. Lower you expectation and your performance will rise.

Dizzy

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 118

Feeling a bit defeated

m03

You did as i did when first starting this program was to charge ahead with the first sessions. This was a mistake for me becuase if you look at the bottom of the tool box you will notice sessions on relationship and how to speak assertively etc. I am making the recommendation that you start looking at your relationships especially since you said you feel lonely. This seems to be common with anxiety and people who have had it a long time on and off. This is where you may need to some work or not what ever you think is going to help.

Dizzy

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 118

Feeling a bit defeated

m03

I have spent my whole entire life being stigmatized. Not all becuase of anxiety and panic attacks, after going through the relationship part of the tool box I realized it is there problem not mine. If they do not get it then thats there problem. I will tell you two things even if you know a person who has the same mood disorder that we have you still may not find understanding. The reason why is we all have different experiences with this problem. For example the head pressure I get that keeps me foggy all day drives me nuts where to you it may be a minor experience. You may suffer from some other sensation that bothers you more then it would bother me. Lastly I am not sure who you are talking about when you mention people in your daily life. I think you have to really consider who you tell about your situation it may do more harm then good. If they are just co-workers they may not need to know. Self induced expectations (of the people you are telling), produce self induced frustrations (in your self becuase you are not getting the reaction you want). On the other hand if you are receiving some work support while you go through this hard time in your life then it may be a good thing. The point is you must consider who you tell and what you want out of it if when you tell them, and are you going to get what you want from them. Even if you think that you should tell someone and think they will be helpful, it may not turn out that way. On the other hand some people can surprise you with support becuase maybe they have a family member going through the same thing. Finding one support person may be all that you need it depends on you I recommend you go through the relationships tool box it will help you determine what you want and from whom you will get it. Remember that support is a two way street that is why this site is unique in that just one person different perspective may be a key to one of your problems. If you use CBT and make an effort at it the set backs will effect less and less becuase once you have gone through one you know you can do it again.

Dizzy

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 118

What ifs

Davit

Could not agree more I do not want to be caught in semantics and who is right and wrong about a word, however the “what if” takes on more significance than just the “if” word. You could say, “If I go to the bath room now I won’t have to pull over and stop on my way to the cottage”. However if you say “what if I go to the bath room now” leaves much more room for all the possibilities that you can dream up that could go wrong. To change the first statement into danger you would have to put in “if I do not” then a negative thought can arise or fantasy.

Dizzy

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 118

What ifs

Davit

I just did an interesting experiment today I was challenging a particularly hard thought for me and was using the negative thought sheet. As you can imagine the negative evidence side piled up against the positive evidence. I was challenging the thought this morning and got pretty mad at how much evidence there was for the negative thought. So I put it away and came back to it this afternoon. I looked at what you said and my reply and decided to put a WHAT IF beside the negative evidence that could take the form of a what if statement. This drastically reduced the of negative evidence to a few if I took out the what if that I applied.

thank you for this

Dizzy

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