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13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 286

What would be my exposure?

Kendra,

I have a lot of anxiety around working, too. I ultimately decided to take some time off from work to focus on the program and dealing with my anxiety (and some of the underlying issues that made me so anxious at work in the first place - like this job no longer being right for me!), but everyone's situation is different. If you have to work at this time for financial reasons, I would recommend being up front with your employer about what you are dealing with and trying to start out slowly with your schedule if at all possible. It took me a long time to be totally honest with my employers about what I was dealing with, but that was a necessary step towards trying to make the job at all manageable! If work is just too much right now, accept that, but don't resign yourself to that being the permanent way of things. Commit to overcoming the anxiety and build work back into your exposure when you're ready for it.

Teebs

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 286

Drive - I did it!

Thanks everyone for all your kind comments.

The last two days with the drive and the wedding have really taken a lot out of me. I'm trying to enjoy the rest of my visit here but I'm trying to do a lot in the short time I'm here which makes it a little stressful. I feel pretty worn out, so it was really nice to log on here and read all your encouragement.

I'm glad you are all reminding me that this success is something I need to celebrate. I don't know what I'll do but I'll come up with something special for myself for when I get back home in a few days. (The drive back will be a bit easier, because my parents are actually going on a trip that way so we will be driving in two separate cars but together for most of the way. With that I hope to be able to do the drive without a Xanax!)

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 286

New Here

Hi Spartan,

Welcome! I too am young and have been plagued with panic attacks off and on throughout my life, especially over the last 18 months. Work has been a real struggle for me as well. I used to be fine, and now the thought of an 8 hour work day also sends me into panic mode! I'm taking some time off from my job to focus on working through my anxiety - this is a very hard thing for me, but I also want to get back to that carefree and fearless person I used to be! I've worked through the first 7 sessions of the program so far. It's a process, but I am starting to notice some improvements. The forums here can be especially helpful, so never hesitate to post!

Teebs

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 286

NEW - Ask the Expert September

I also have never had a panic attack that lasts only 10 minutes - that wouldn't be so bad if it were the case! I think the worst part of panic usually lasts about 30-60 minutes for me, with it taking a couple of hours to fully "come down" from a bad panic attack.

Davit - in terms of doing something that bothers you to prove there is no reason for it to bother you or inducing panic to prove there is no reason to panic - isn't that was exposure is? Several of my exposure experiments have induced panic attacks or near panic attacks, and I wonder sometimes how effective this is because usually my fear is of fear itself - so if I'm afraid of having a panic attack, then go into a situation and have a panic attack, isn't my worst fear coming true? How do I learn not to be afraid of these situations this way? Am I taking steps that are too big too fast?

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 286

Drive - I did it!

Well, I'm back home! I enjoyed many parts of my six day trip but there were definitely lots of tough times too - big exposure events every day and a couple of more minor anxiety attacks though nothing as bad as that first day when I had to make myself leave.

Today was my drive back home. I didn't have a lot of anticipatory anxiety about it (big deal for me) because I knew my parents would be with me for most of the drive, so I thought it would go a lot easier. It was harder than I expected, and towards the end when I knew I had drive by myself and take the ferry home by myself I did have another panic attack. I was able to get through it without taking a Xanax this time, but now I'm again feeling very worn out now that I'm home and unpacked. Sweatbee and Red - Thanks for letting me know you feel tired after hard exposure too! It sure can take a lot of out of you.

I'm trying really hard to support myself and be positive about the fact that I went on this trip and made it through all of these challenges, but I still get bogged down in the frustration of this being hard when it didn't used to be, and some deep-rooted belief that I "should" be making progress faster. I do keep telling myself this was a big deal and a big step and that I should be proud of myself for making it through it. It's hard for me to reward myself for things like this, when I feel like I should be able to do more or at least do this with less anxiety, but I did use some of you as inspiration and I bought myself a candle-making kit that I'm really looking forward to playing with during the next few days while I'm taking it easier. Being able to reward myself is big part of my progress too!

I just wish I could feel better after going through so much in the last few days, but instead I just feel totally out of it....I hope you're right Red that a few days from now it sinks in and I start feeling really good. I'll let you know!

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 286

NEW - Ask the Expert September

Davit - I have also read a book by a doctor who recommends inducing panic and staying there until it goes away, by my understanding to prove that panic won't harm you and that your worst anxious thoughts don't come true. This type of exposure never really made sense to me, because my fear is mostly of fear itself - I am miserable during a panic attack. So if I go into a situation and induce panic, my worst fear is in a sense coming true. I think this is where I am struggling with the experimenting with the gag reflex as part of session 7 to help me get over the gag feeling I have, too. I know I'm not going to stop breathing or anything like that, I just really don't like the sensation! So what do I learn by inducing the sensation?

I need to do some more thinking about the importance of addressing my negative self-talk and how it relates to my exposure success. I guess I never really thought about positive talk as a method of coping, but from your description it really sounds like it's tied in. For a long time I have felt like my anxiety is something separate from me - the dragons. I've told myself if I can banish the dragons I'll be fine. But your saying it's about me, not the dragons, has put it in a bit of a different perspective.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 286

Hi everyone!

Hi Eleen -

Welcome! Working through the sessions in this program will definitely help you understand panic attacks and where they come from. This support group is a great resource as well - feel free to ask questions at any time or just share your experiences. You'll always find a helpful voice here.

Teebs

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 286

Session 7 Walkthrough

I am currently working on session 7, and my understanding is the purpose of this type of exposure is to realize that these sensations aren't as bad or scary as they can seen during a panic attack. My worst physical symptom associated with anxiety is the gag feeling that I've posted about before. I've tried several days of simulating this gag feeling as discussed in this session. I haven't started panicking as a result of the simulation, but I still really don't like the sensation, and it's tough for me to get myself to do this practice.

Another symptom I get with anxiety is a racing heart. With some exercise that I do I also experience a racing heart, but to me this sensation is quite different from the feeling during panic. During exercise an elevated heart rate "makes sense" to me, and so doesn't make me anxious. But if I'm sitting in my car or at a lecture and my heart starts to race, then it bothers me more because my body should be in a calmer state at that time.

I guess I don't fully understand how this type of exposure is supposed to work, so I'm more skeptical about this session than I have been about the others.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 286

Homesick

Hi Spartan,

I have been in a very similar situation as you, just a few months ago! I also have a feeling I should take my own advice that I'm about to give you :) So this is good for me, too.

Just because you had a harder day don't let it keep you from being proud of the two days you did well. Two 8 hour work days WAS a big success! Moving away from home and working many days in a row of your job was maybe just too much right now. That doesn't mean you've failed - it just means that maybe you're asking too much of yourself right now. Maybe you need to give yourself a little bit of a break and tackle one thing at a time. For me, I moved away from home in April and started my job up again, and after a few months I recognized that it was too much. I have stopped my job for now, which wasn't right for me anymore for many reasons, and I am focusing on working through my anxiety and also on other things that are important to me like my photography career.

I'll ask Ashley's question again - what is it about home that you miss? For me it was my connection to my parents, so I talked to them on the phone every day for a while, and still talk to them often. That helps me feel like I'm still connected to them and supported by them even though now I go weeks or months without seeing them.

I was really skeptical when I started this program, too. I started it once last December, then stopped for a while, but came back to it in July and am giving it 100% effort this time. I still have a long ways to go, but I've found that if you really do the homework it does help. It can be frustrating because you just want to "get better", but it is a long and sometimes bumpy road. There will be setbacks/rebounds, but that doesn't mean you aren't making any progress. Post here with both your ups and your downs and before long it will be obvious that you're heading in the right direction.

Just know that you're definitely not alone, and that there is a way out of this - you won't be stuck forever!

Teebs

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 286

Drive - I did it!

Thanks Davit, Sunny, and Red.

I need to do a lot more work around my negative and positive thoughts, but I'm learning to focus more on the positive and this is major progress. I did it, I did have some fun, it was worth it, and I would do it again. I'm letting myself celebrate this success, and I'm also taking care of myself by taking it easy for a couple days after what was a challenging week. My frustration about not making more progress faster I'm using as motivation to reach my ultimate goal of making a full recovery from this. I like the analogy Sunny that it takes a lot of building blocks to make a strong building. That will take time but it is definitely worth building that strong foundation! One step at a time.

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