Tiana,
Yes! I try to remember “Don’t believe what you think” with respect to my mind’s view of the world and reality. But in my isolated life, there’s so little connection with people, with GAD, that thoughts all seem to have the same value or truth, but the forum is helping greatly this week.
Being labelled not “normal” still comes with our stigma, until we’re seen just like a runner getting over a sprained ankle, or a finger healing from a paper cut. It hurts to not be accepted because I can’t believe anyone thinks I’m worthy being with on a Saturday night when it’s raining.
When it’s not a life phase, and it’s been my whole life, it amazes me that I persevere. I used to be told that I have to respect my “emotional timetable”. I joke about it to myself and just think that I’m a late bloomer, but what else can I do?
As for the journey, it’s not yet valued as recovery from physical handicaps are celebrated. I’m in a closet, literally hiding my books, worry records and appointments while mountaineers decorate their fireplaces with trophies.
It’s hard to be proud of something you have to hide, isn’t it?
The Whatifs poem is what its like to be inside of this little scared boy, like if I’m homesick at camp away from mom. It’s a caricature, kind of, isn’t it, so we can laugh and get on with life?
Tiana,
I am beginning to explore things, and am just recovering from a special interest course that was too intense for my skill level.
With trial and error, I hope I’ll find a balance between my comfort with the social situation and mechanics, so I can feel connected but not overwhelmed by too much stimulation.
I’d like to build a support system, but GAD wrestles with me.
~m
(((((((((((((((((((((((((( `m+ Josie + Flint + Davit + Diane + Red + ....)))))))))))))))))))))
Back at you!
