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10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 hugs4U 4027

Hyper-arousal of body sensation

I was reading this forum, and wished to say how similar the internal life described is to loneliness, and how reaching out to people would help as an antidote. If one spends time with people, I find, it curbs the unreality we weave as we suffer.

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 hugs4U 4027

Positive Stories And Quotes

Saturday morning, I practise “Slotha Yoga”, as recommended in the book “Sabbath” by Wayne Muller. I went away on a retreat, and the retreat talked of the tradition of taking time out in various organized religions, and how to apply it in my life.
This is just a time to relax, not do stuff, and let things slide for the first hour of your day as a different morning ritual.
This is a contrast to the bombardment of the material world’s advertisement in media, and the other demands of life. That world sells us unhappiness, by insisting there is happiness only by buying their product(s). Most of us have enough and just need to recognize that by just taking the time “....to stop working, stop making money, stop spending money....at the end of the day, where is the desparate yearning to consume, to shop, to buy what we do not need? Little by little, it falls away.”

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 hugs4U 4027

Recovery

I'm almost new to the forum and trying to understand the way people use them. I've had GAD since I was very small, and was "shy", but it really affected me during work, and even after an abrupt stop, when I had to leave, since I was used up, I guess.

Last month and a half, I underestimated a special interest activity, and am paying the price this week. Originally I just wished to connect with some people, but it was too intense, but sometimes you can’t predict what it’s like, when you’ve been holed up for a while, or just doing what needs to get done with the family.

Going to class was like walking up the highest, steepest, most weather-wild mountain, unable to sleep the next day, and unsettled for days, being emotionally and physically drained, and wracked with guilt, not sharing with anybody but a therapist.

A mountain is a perfect analogy, since anxiety causes breathlessness, although I just blanked out and couldn’t process stuff during the last two classes. We worked in pairs, and my partner helped me out.

I miss her, and it’s rare that I even talk to anyone, except myself. And I think I’m getting tired of myself.

There was too much of a challenge, and need to scale down th goal, although, to be fair, I couldn’t measure the difficulty, and had already tried another similar two courses.

So I have “credits” at a school, after wrestling with the school computer records system. Didn't get a charge out of the accomplishment though....just shame...something more to work on.

Back to the drawing board.

hugs4U

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 hugs4U 4027

Recovery

I wish there was more inside of me, I just feel overextended, and need rest from choosing a goal with too much challenge, but that comes with practise.

My challenge has always been, to find some activity which nurtures me, but isn’t too labour intensive. Unfortunately guilt creeps into my choices, since I have to balance choices with caregiving.

Work and the early hours never allowed me to watch television(and i was too stressed to remember how to use the recorder), but I was in tears once I watched some of the “American Idol” contestants, since they are so gifted, and even the celebs were moved!

And after a decision to try something, is the challenge of the anxiety,....in another forum, which is asking my secret weapon, I usually try to call on a number of reframing thoughts.

Progressive relaxation, prayer, planning for the next day and restorative sleep is my plan for tonight.

Thanks for asking, since it's scary to look into cyberspace, since the outside world seems so scary sometimes, or I just can't, and I wonder...

Is anyone out there, with the scary followup questions about whether I exist, matter which get entwined(not with the expensive floss my dentists give me for "free") with questions of self-worth.

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 hugs4U 4027

Recovery

I think so...think I'll sleep on that, and work on core beliefs to get to the root of this.

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 hugs4U 4027

Secret Weapon

I use worry/thought records, with my favourite anxiety "busters":

a) "...I'm doing the best I can with what I know, when I know more I'll do better..."(from former tennis star Arthur Ashe who I could never meet because I couldn't afford the country club fees)

b) "...Anxiety is anticipation holding its breath..."(from some Hollywood celeb who could afford a lot more therapy than I'll ever have time or resources for).

c) Anxiety usually has two consolations:

i) What you fear hasn't happened yet

ii) What you really fear, isn't what you think, but what is associated with what will happen(from a book I read by a security expert who consults to celebs & government).

d) I try to see the humour in the situation

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 hugs4U 4027

Secret Weapon

Sadie, good luck with the programme...forgive me for not noticing how we had just joined by number of posts in your profile...I guess I was looking for Big Ben in the background or a Spice girl singing in the background, since you are from England...anxiety crimps my processing, too

Humour is another secret weapon to fend off anxiety. Wish you could have hear the American Idol performances last night, if you like that sort of music:...I was moved to tears :)

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 hugs4U 4027

Breaking Down the Walls

Hi Spartan,
I'm going to take a baby step, and welcome you back, although it's taken since 2009 for me to venture posting.

Sounds like things are taken a negative turn, temporarily.

I’ve cycled into a similar pattern with GAD, with negative thinking, finding it hard to do things like go out, after a number of major life events.

Fortunately, for now, I can work incrementally with someone and make progresss, and eventually challenge my negative thinking, which is keeping me inside, fearful of where I park my car if I do go outside, of even seeing family members outside my parents home or acknowledging achievements. Yesterday I spent the day in pj’s. I left work sometime ago, and people used to just laugh at me since my fears were comicable to me, but I could leave that toxic situation, with support and a career which was close enough to the end of my need to leave. I don’t have any friends, and have lived my whole life in one large city, haven’t seen a movie since 2007, rarely eat out(and could afford to), and the best I can do is McDonald’s(hold the tartar sauce on the fish fillet and hold the salt on the fries...in case you send me one!).

Once a mean-spirited woman suggested i should be perfect after all my hard work in CBT, etc. Another person once asked me if I could speak, since I didn’t respond in time to her impatient question! Ouch...

There’s a lot of positive support out here, and around us, and with a few small steps, with a focus on incremental growth , we can steer ourselves eventually back on course. There’s so much I have to draw on, but when I had to overcome my added weight, the wonderful dietician recommended “progress” over “perfection”.

With a name like Spartan, maybe the Helen of Troy will be released in you...how would that feel?

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 hugs4U 4027

Secret Weapon

Hi Sadie,

Glad you could chuckle!

I was just joking about Ben and the Spice Girls, but hopefully this site, and whatever works for you, helps you overcome the "jungle" Axl talks about(I think he has a great voice) in his pop song.

Maybe the jungle-like world will become a lush garden or meadow, or whatever you want it to be...

Good luck, and lock and load those secret weapons!

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 hugs4U 4027

my story

Sadie,

It sounds so familiar, when small stuff becomes hard to bear, and having such a significant loss.

I’ll bet you miss your sister....good night Sadie:(

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