Get the Support You Need
Learn from thousands of users who have made their way through our courses. Need help getting started? Watch this short video.
2020-11-30 9:07 AM
2020-11-30 8:53 AM
2020-11-28 8:40 AM
Managing Drinking Community
2020-11-28 8:26 AM
Managing Drinking Community
Managing Drinking Community
I figured I would introduce myself. I am from Florida and have three kids. I am happy in my life but I have been feeling depressed. I think it is because I tend to drink most evenings after the kids go to sleep. It is sapping my energy and I know it effects my moods. I have tried to cut back multiple times but it never sticks. I guess, I just like drinking too much. It helps me relax. It is my only "me" time I have. When I don't drink in the evenings I tend to feel like something is missing. I know I just have to do it but I can't bring myself to be consistent. It doesn't help that the few girlfriends I have also like their wine. I thought I would post here to hear from people who are cutting back successfully. I want to drink less but I also don't. Does anyone relate? I need motivation. I keep coming up with reasons not to cut back everytime I decide to cut back. I feel extreme guilt because I know I would be a more energetic, happy parent if I drank less.Feeling guilty tends to make me want to drink more. I feel like a mess. Anyone out there listening?
Thank you for responding and listening. I appreciate it a lot. Just knowing someone else can relate and got through it means more to me then you know. Thank you also for reflecting back what I am saying. Alcohol makes me feel good and bad at the same time. No wonder I get stuck when trying to stop. This month is the worst for me, as this time of year is a favourite for my family and friends. We all really love halloween and anytime there is celebration... you know what accommpanies that... alcohol. It is so hard for me to say no when so many people are offering me drinks and my hubby is bringing me home drinks to celebrate the season. Ugh. I told him I wanted to try not drinking for a week and he agreed but then he ended up bringing home alcohol anyways. Less then we normally have and I was actually happy when he brought it home. I can't be mad it him for it because I am always happy when he brings booze home. I think I need to be more stern with it but maybe next month would be a better months to stop for awhile. It is so hard because there is always a "good" excuse to drink. I am drinking pretty moderately latetly but I know more then I should.
As I am writing this I know the winter holidays are coming up soon too and everyone loves to drink on those holidays as well. How do you get through the holidays now that you don't drink? Do you feel like you are missing out? How do you beat the cravings and are able to say no when offered a drink?!
Thanks so very much for all you said
I do not normally struggle with depression but lately I have been feeling super down during my time of the month. This is not normal for me. I know other women have mood swings during their periods and I wanted to hear from women who were able to manage their pms symptoms. I know alcohol impacts my mood and I still continue to drink but even when I am not drinking very much I still get extreme mood swings. I just basically hate my life for a week and think everything is terrible and then after the week I feel normal again. I talked to my doctor about it and they gave me some information and talked about medications. I don't really want to take medications so I really just wanted to hear from others and what is working for them. Any ideas would be appreciated.
Normally I would just tough it out but I feel like my moodiness might be impacting my kids. I want to be a happy mom and not a moody mom. Can any moms or women relate?
Thanks for taking the time to read.
Thanks again Lynn
Your words really resonate with me. It is really good to hear you don't miss alcohol. I can't imagine that but knowing you are experiencing that gives me hope. If I am being honest I am still not quite ready to give it up yet but I am going to keep preparing my mind by coming here and reading. Just reading is making me inche forward to change I think. I figure if I keep thinking about it I will at least get to it at some point. I at least drank less the last few days and managed to get some creative projects done. I find putting energy towards a creative hobby really feeds me. I imagine when I stop drinking I will have a lot more energy for things that actually nourishes me and not depletes me.
Thanks again for listening and responding. It means a lot to me.
So the last few days I have been working on a few fairy gardens for my kids. I have been loving the experience and I find myself waking up excited to start the day just to work on the project. I also find that I have no urge to drink while working on them and I am more careful with my drinking that day. when I am hung over I never have the energy for hobbies so I can't be hung over. It got me thinking that I should really have more hobbies I enjoy. I have dedicated my life to my family and as a result I have put little effort into my own interests. I think if I develop more interest I will drink less out of boredom. I thought I would post here because I would love to know what everyone else does on their down time? What hobbies do you enjoy? How do you entertain yourself? I figure the more ideas I have the better and I am sure others might benefit as well.
Thanks in advance!!!!
This is fantastic!
I am currently cutting back on alcohol. I successfully quit smoking 8 years ago when I had my kids. I used a lot of these ideas. It is a great reminder for me because I can use a lot of these tips while trying to quit moderate alcohol. I have bookmarked it so I can refer back to it
Thanks for this Timbo.
I am currently in the other group trying to work on my drinking but I thought I would come here to offer my support to other members trying to quit. I quit smoking 8 years ago when I had my kids and it was the smartest change I have ever made. I used to think I would never quit but having kids sure changes that. I had tried to quit multiple times but i was never able to stick with it. When my husband and I started talking about kids I knew I wanted to be completely off smoking before even trying so I talked to my doctor about it. He suggested Champix. I am not big on taking pharmaceuticals but I was desperate to try anything so I did. It helped tremndously! Don't get me wrong, quitting was no walk in the park but Champix gave me the added edge. I remember having bad dreams and later missing some old smoking rituals but I got through it and now I don't even think about smoking unless someone is smoking around me. If you are thinking do it!! You will not regret it. I will be here offering advice when I can. I think there are other people here who quit already. I wonder what you guys think helped you to quit?
So this weekend was supposed to be low key. I am trying to do more hobbies and with that be more social. My husband and I decided to get a baby sitter and spend time with friends. Of course alcohol was involved. I was only going to have one drink but I ended up having a lot more and being hungover the next day. I rationalized that I needed alcohol to be social and I am trying to change my thinking but it is hard. I feel like I am so quiet and socially anxious when I am not drinking. Alcohol actually does work as a social lubricant. I am a happy social butterfly when drinking. When I am not drinking I feel like I just don't have the social energy and I over think everything I say. I can't imagine being at a social event without alcohol. Does anyone have some advice on how to change this thinking? I would love to hear from anyone but especially from people who used alcohol as a social crutch.
Thank you foxman. You are very right about being moody when not drinking and then reaching for a drink when to get a mood boost. I do that all the time. I just did it most of the weekend :(
Thank you also for the AA recommendation. I have looked into it in the past and it just doesn't resonate with me. I do not like the spiritual aspect but i appreciate your suggestion
No worries on not being sure how to post. It looks like you are getting it. It takes awhile to get used to. Have you already quit drinking? I want to quit but I am still working on that...
I have just came to the site myself. I am like you, successful for a bit and then I fall right back into drinking. My problem is that I lack motivation. I came here to work on that. Glad that you are here and working on it aswell. Hopefully I can be a support to you even though I am also struggling myself.