I have come to the realization that I am in the same boat. I want to drink and enjoy the way I once did. I am almost 50 and have always been very strict with diet and working out. Alcohol never seemed to have an effect on my weight but because of my biology background know that it is hindering the effects of working out. I have always been able to drink and do what I wanted the next day, in the past year things have changed. I feel no motivation to do anything. I go to work and do the things I need to do but no extra desire is there.
The fear of cutting out alcohol for good is frightful. I normally drink everyday but there have tried to give up drinking for a few nights for the last few weeks. The actual "thought" of not drinking seems harder to deal with than the night of not drinking. Is it possible to only drink on the weekends like so many people do?????
I too am a clock watcher. I think that was my way of rationalizing that I was in control of alcohol. As I have been on this journey of moderation I am finding that the actual IDEA of not drinking one night is actually tougher than the evening of no alcohol. As I think about it I find that I am spending many more hours thinking/fearing not drinking than the actual night of not drinking. Anyone have thoughts or suggestions about this?
Thanks Jewel and Dave for your thoughts. I am a person of habit and for me I do not think that alcohol is anything more than that. Does that mean I will be able to drink moderately, I don't think so, and that was my initial plan. Through this time of trying to moderate I am seeing that the "habit" just becomes intensified as I look to the next time to drink.
For now I think I need to completely cut alcohol out to reduce my tolerance. Hopefully Jewel I will have the results you have experienced and realize that alcohol is something I don't need. I want so much to not drink, I am very health oriented in all regards except alcohol. It is so easy to rationalize the effects that alcohol has on my body.
Struggling with this idea and am confused as to why I can't take control....
I think I remember when you first came to this site, it was around the time I began here as well. At the time I thought I could do moderation but know that is not possible without abstaining for a period of time.
I am going to say what I have said some many times, tomorrow is the day. Keep me in your thoughts, we will see how it goes....
Jewel, I would love to know how you would approach tomorrow with your recent experience. From what you have posted you know how it will begin for me. Fearful of the night without alcohol. Any advice as to how to go through my day?
Thank you Jewel and Zoey for your responses, yes Jewel, it does help. Your responses sound very familiar so I can certainly relate. For the past 10 years I have worked out religiously and a few years ago adapted a "clean" diet. Although I was drinking daily during this time (allowing my mind to rationalize that it was OK) I showed no outward effects of the alcohol use. In the past I watched the clock, only started drinking at a certain time and had a certain number of drinks I would not surpass. As I think about it, this is my way of saying that I am in control of the alcohol (which couldn't be further from the truth!) In the last year I have started earlier and have surpassed that number many times. As a result I have noticed a change in my body, attitude toward working out, and recently, job performance. Fortunately, at this point no one has a clue as to what is going on with me. Most people are shocked to even know I drink, but I don't think this will continue.
Jewel, you should be proud of yourself, you have done what I only hope to do. I am not sure what the next is for me and that in itself is a problem for me. Once I have a plan and know what it is I want to accomplish I am relentless in my goal. This is something I want and I know I am allowing the power of alcohol to over power me, which is extremely frustrating. I have thought I was a strong person but I am feeling very weak right now.
My partner certainly knows I drink but because she doesn't drink she really has no idea how much I am drinking. I have a great group of friends that drink but they could all take it or leave it as well. If I did not drink with them it would have no effect on our relationship. My family has no idea. I guess that is why it is comforting to be able to communicate with people that know exactly what I am feeling and are able to offer advice.
I really appreciate the advice and hope good things are in store for all of us in the future.
Jewel, you have said your household knows the extent of your past drinking. Zoey, you have said no one knows. My partner is great, I can tell her anything but have not told her about this. What are your thoughts of me revealing my problem to her?
Yes, she is great, I am truely blessed. The reason I have not said anything to her before now is I thought I could do this on my own. Nothin has been said before now is out of embarrassment and knowing that in the end it has to be me that takes control of this.
Your household is/was aware of the extent of your drinking, did they provide support in you beginning to take charge of your situation? Would support from them aided your efforts?
Thank you Jewel for your support and concern, sometimes helping is knowing someone is there listening and understanding.
Zoey, hope you are well. Need A Friend, welcome to the site, you will find great support here.
The progress you have made thus far is admired. Knowing you have done it with little to no "in house" support further adds to that admiration. You have done an amazing job!
I want to do this on my own because in the end it is really up to me. I questioned you about the support at home wondering if you thought it would help. In the past I have made excuses to do things she wanted to do at night because they have not involved drinking. Maybe if I suggest doing some of things I will be getting her support without actually asking for it. Before I would have drank substantially before, and hated the activity during waiting for the time for the next drink. Now if I suggest a non-drinking activity early in the day, I will know that it will be one night of not drinking.
It is amazing the grip that alcohol can have on us. When we think we are in total control it is probably when we are in the least control.
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