I believe I'm getting a clearer understanding. I must take my medicine and I must continue to march forward. I must continue to maintain my routine and to allow people to be a part of my life. I must reach out for help when I need it and I must refuse to allow the depression to take over "me".
I'm a confident, thriving, young woman at the height of her career with a lot to offer and a lot to give to others. In giving we receive. When I quit giving back and relying on the good Lord above to guide my steps, when I forget to lean on Him, I've given up control. God makes a way for everything. Faith is the answer. Perseverience and faith.
I understand completely! I was so exhausted last week and stressed from the everyday life affairs that I pulled my kids out of school on Friday and we went to the State Fair. It was just what the doctor ordered. A 3 day weekend and fun to boot!
Sometimes we need what I call "mental health" days. It is to our benefit. Life is nothing without those we love. We need to stop and smell the roses along the way occassionally. Hope this day makes you feel better.
Lady
I've just completed session three of the program and I'm actually excited about this. The thought process is what I really need to change. How I react to situations, how I feel about things, and how to gain control back of my emotions.
I like the thought record idea. This is like a diary that highlights the issues. Perhaps this program really can help me.
I've made a conscious decision that I have got to regain control. This emotional rollercoaster has been going on long enough. It is time to take a stand and make a change. The serenity prayer and all the things I've learned through life about how life is sometimes are coming to mind. I CAN do this! I CAN live a life that isn't out of total dispair. I'm going to get it back. I've had it before and I want it again.
No options left. I cannot fight the depression anymore. I'm doing my best to put it aside. There is something going on with my sons that I have to figure out how to deal with. It's not about me. It's about them. I HAVE to be better. I HAVE to do better. I cannot afford to be depressed anymore! I just can't do it or I may as well forget about my kids.
Dumpling,
I've been seeing a counselor for a year now. She doesn't perscribe medication but deals with enough people on medication to know how they are affected. She also keeps in touch with my family doctor in order to help monitor my progress and if the medication is actually helping. Together they were able to get me on the correct combination of medicine.
My counselor doesn't work any program with me. She merely listens to me and provides me with ideas on how to sort everything out. She also gently guides me to where I need to be and encourages me to keep progressing forward. I have to do the work. No one can do it for me.
Sometimes I wonder if I'm seeing the right person or not but I think that is just because of my depression and self-doubt. I trust her 90% and she has become like the mother I've always wanted.
What matters is that you are with someone who can help you and who understands what you are going through. It seems to take forever to progress, but it does happen.
(((Gabs)))
Big, big hugs coming your way. Work the program here and do the homework. Work through the lessons. That combined with the right medication can help you. Pray Gabs. Pray, pray, pray. God loves you. I know that is so hard to believe but it is true. I will pray for you too. Right now as a matter of fact.
Dear Lord,
Please wrap your loving arms of comfort around Gabs and let her know that she is your child and you love her. Let her know that she has value in this world and that you have a plan for her life. She isn't worthless but a jewel in your eyes. Please let her know and believe this. We know it is true because your word says it's true. Comfort and Guide her... In Jesus Name... Amen.
Gabs take whatever you need. I do believe it is a sign. I just answered your other thread with a little prayer for you. Rest well and remember the following passage.
Ask and it shall be given to you, seek and you shall find, knock and the door shall be open.
Gabs
I hope you are feeling better. I'm afraid I don't have much to offer right now. Keep taking those deep breaths. I do that quite often myself. You have real value in this world Gags. You must believe that because it is true.
HOPE... is something that you need. Hope for a better tomorrow has gotten me through many, many hard times. Without Hope we have nothing. Hang on to hope with all your might. You do have a better tomorrow ahead. Keep searching until you find your solution. The fact that you search means that you will find an answer. You cannot give up. You never know just how close you really are to finding the answers you are looking for. Wear out your knees. Stay on them as long as you need to. God has you in the palm of his hand and he isn't going to let you go. His word tells us that and I believe it.
I'm tired of the depression. The last couple of days I've gotten really ticked off at the way depression has taken over my life. It's like when I quit smoking and realized how much it controlled what I did. My smoking was kind of replaced with depression and I've had enough.
Yesterday, I refused to let anything get me down. I tried to stay even in my emotions. You know, avoid the highs and lows. I had a great day. I've been taking my meds and I don't remember any tears yesterday at all.
I have a friend who says I haven't had 7 consequtive days without tears and self destruction since I quit smoking. My goal is to rectify that and prove him wrong. I can go 7 days without falling apart.
I feel as if I've really gotten ticked off and I want control back. Is this part of the education and the learning that the program is teaching me? Has anyone else felt this way?
Gabs,
I truly feel for you because I remember when my daily goal for one day (not all that long ago) was to clean the bathroom. It took me a couple of hours to get in there to even start. Once started it took a long time to accomplish and I wound up saying "good enough" but I was proud that I had cleaned the bathroom. You are right, it takes baby steps.
Yesterday was just a really good day for me. I've only been on my job since July and I relocated to work here. The relocation has helped me leaps and bounds because it totally changed my negative environmnet.
My boss gave me huge compliments on a project I completed that we were reviewing and that was a boost. I had a school conference that went well and my boyfriend was telling me how special I am to him. Those things just made me feel good about myself.
Also, on Wednesday nights I teach a group of teens at church. The program I put together for them last night, they really enjoyed. It was on the dangers of myspace. They commented that they learned things they didn't know and they were all going to go home and make their pages private to protect themselves from preditors. I feel good when I feel like I make a difference in the world.
After the experiences above, I realized that I am where God wants me to be right now. Today belongs to me and it is my choice how I spend it. I'm riding on the highs and ignoring the negative facts. They are still there but I'm not paying any attention to them because I feel good. I don't want to go back down. I hate being down.
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