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Posts created by Lady

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 5195

Mood Disorder

I'm not sure what I would be classified as. I go through bouts of depression. I will be fine for days, sometimes even a week and then I'm down again. The negative thoughts set it and it's off to the races! I don't think I have extreme highs, I just think that when I'm not low, I'm happy and talkative. If I'm ok, I'm normal; If I'm not ok, I'm depressed. I constantly fight with anxiety about everything good and bad. What does that make me?

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 5195

Mood Disorder

Caimansbetty Just out of curiosity, is your anxiety so bad at times that you have a hard time breathing? I too take medicine twice a day for the anxiety, buspar and I take Kolnipin when I need something extra. It really does get the best of me and I have to STOP immediately and regain control. Lady

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 5195

Mood Disorder

Chemicle imballance, depression, bi-polar, panic disorder, anxiety attacks.... Gesh! Someone stop the world I want off!!!!! I've heard all of these terms before. All I know is that I quit smoking almost 3 years ago and I have been a mess ever since. I don't know if smoking gave my mind the time out it needed to catch up on things, if I was self-medicating, or one just depressed all the time and didn't know it. I have no idea! All I know is I hate the feelings I have now and I don't feel like I'm in control half the time anymore. I don't want to redo the bathroom tonight, I want to run away! I want to take a plan trip to Italy and see the Michael Angelo paintings for myself in the Sistine Chaple, I want to take a 7 day cruise with my boyfriend and my boys, I want to take a week off from work and spend it with my daughter and her new baby. I want, I want, I want. All I ever hear is more, more, more. A hurricane in my mind... Boy that is terminology I can relate to. So many things going on at once. I get so caught up in everythign that needs to be done that I don't get anything completed and really get very little even started. The boys needs, work projects, home projects, housework, school work, homework with the kids, shopping, laundry, church, find time to be social because we are social beings, get out and meet new people in my new area, find a mentor, finish school, find a study buddy, keep in touch with friends, call my mom, check on dad, forgot grandma's birthday... the list goes on and on. Dysfunctional??? Yep, I think so.

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 5195

Mood Disorder

Ok this entire topic was wearing on me so I called my counselor, whom I've been seeing for about 1.5 years now and said "What am I?". She said she would say I'm depressed and have been that way for a very long time, probably since childhood or at least adolecence. That it is going to take time to get through everything but I am fine. She was real encourage about me getting the appointment with the phychiatrist. I go and see him next Tuesday. I don't want to offend anyone but just as I felt when the doctor first told me I was depressed and he wanted to try some medication for me, I feel like someone is telling me I'm crazy. I do feel insane for all the thoughts that go through my head and everything but I'm told that crazy people don't know they are crazy. Does anyone else have these feelings?

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 5195

New to the program

Hi JenJen. I ready your introduction nodding my head throughout. This is the best my life has ever been - yep! I need instant results - Yep! I want to be happy again - Yep! Often I feel so alone and the loneliness is what drives me into the pits of dispair. I too have struggled through a lot of my life and I am a single parent trying to raise the remaining 2 of 3 children by myself with little to no support from others. It is difficult and I often feel I am failing them. I have a job that I love and I cannot afford to lose it because I am the sole provider for my family. I do however, often find myself avoiding others at work so that they cannot see my swollen eyes, or the destress that is on my face. Whenever someone asks if I'm ok I just say I'm great (screaming on the inside). The Are you sure? always makes me say yes and turn and walk away so they can't see the tears in my eyes. My boyfriend (who lives 4 hours away) says, 'Why do you do this to yourself' and all I can think of is I don't know. Anyway, the program is a good one. I have been trying to work it and it helps us know where to focus. I look forward to getting to know you and growing with you during this process.

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 5195

depression and pregnancy

Madara, As a mother of 3 (ages 21, 14 & 6), I can tell you that nothing keeps me going and getting up every day more than my children. My older children are the successful portion of my life. My six year old gives me the doubts and challenges that make me wonder if he would be better off without me. I realize that they don't have anyone but me. I believe that God is the only one who decides when we are ready for children and how many we can have. I had trouble conceiving all three of my children. After years of effort I had an eptopic pregnancy and because of the damage done, I was told I wouldn't be able to have any more children. I have had two sons since that time. Look at the age span of my kids. Obviously I didn't plan on having the 6 year old when I had a 15 and 8 year old. It was God's will for some reason (I still don't know why). Children are blessings from God. Every last one of them. Follow your heart. Do not let your problems with depression control your life. I know easier said than done. This is just my opinion. Take what you want and leave the rest. Lady

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 5195

day 1

Unfortunately, I have been there as well. Big hugs go out to you for I know how devastating a loss like this can be. Take time to heal. Take some time off and mourn the loss. It isn't easy to get through but you can do it. The tears will stop but it takes time. For what it is worth, many who have miscariages often get pregnant again within a short amount of time. The anxiety is a bit much to deal with after recently losing a child but those I know that have been through it make it through the next time without issue. Just remember, this wasn't meant to be for some reason. You would not have wanted a child with a lot of problems. You want a healthy baby. Take some deep breaths, let the tears fall, and take one day at a time.

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 5195

day dreams

Are you feeling good today Wildcat? You seem to be in good spirits.

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 5195

It's not Dark

Today isn't a dark day. I feel good and I want to go on record as feeling so much better than I did a week ago. The gloom and doom of last week seems to have passed for the time being. I increased the Effexor from 75 to 150 about a week ago now and on Tuesday I go to see the psych. I feel good today and I just want to enjoy it. I am laughing, happy and cutting up. Those close to me are so glad to see it. I have a friend who said that they lost me for a few days last week and he was worried. That isn't good. Thanks for all the support you guys give.

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 5195

day dreams

I live in GA. It's nice in the winter here but I miss the snow. I thought you were feeling well because your posts seemed as if you were. Go to the Doctor and get whatever it takes to make you better. Hope you feel better soon.

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