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Posts created by sunny123

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1665

How do we get new members to post?

Good Morning A90 and welcome to the forums. I find the CBT program one of the best therapies for panic and anxiety. I hope you try it and pls. post as often and as much as you want here. That's what it's for. There's always someone listening and writing. Good luck. Remember, you are not alone. Read some of the posts, past and present. There is real hope for everyone.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1665

New to CBT

Hi Cleo: Welcome to the forums: I'm very gald that you have found this site. I think the CBT program is the best for anxiety and panic. I hope you will give it a try. You can work at your own pace and the health educators are here to help you. Pls. post as much and as often as you wish. We are a friendly bunch here and help each other through whatever. Good luck and keep posting.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1665

Won't quit trying

Good Morning Shadowkins: hoping you have a better day today. You aren't letting anyone down. You're going through a difficult time right now and that's what the support group is for - to help you through it. Pls. keep posting, we do care and want to know how you are doing. When I was really sick about a month or so ago, I sure appreciated the support comments from here.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1665

What's your take

Shadowkins: I'm thinking of you and saying a prayer for you. We will support you through this. keep posting and hope you have a great day.
Yes, Shadow is real cute. I had a spaniel before, white and liver. The sweetest dog with the biggest heart, named Charlie. He is in my rose garden now with my other dog, named Daisy. She was a mixed terrier and beagle (I think). Both rescue dogs. Daisy lived to 18 yrs. and Charlie was only 11 yrs. Charlie was almost blind and deaf at the end and having seizures more than once a week. I can't have cats because I am allergic.

Davit: Let us know when your surgery is, we all want to support you and say a prayer too. I think taking a diazapam for one day is not even a drop in the bucket. As you say, nothing to worry about. On the day of my surgery last summer, the hospital gave me an ativan because my BP was so high. I don't usually take anything. I figure it's all part of the hospital visit, then back to normal. p.s. I like your pic.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1665

Exposure Session

D: thanks for your reassurance. Silver sounds good! lol

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1665

In the car and on the freeway.

Anerol: When you find you are holding your breath see if you can take a big breath and let it out gently without forcing. Sort of like a big sigh. Do it about three times. Use that when you're in a bit of a panic. I used that just the other day when I was shopping because I was starting to get tired and overwhelmed with all the commotion around me.
When you do the exercise at home, say for 5 min. a.m. and 5 min. p.m., it's more like three deep breaths as above, but then continue with about 30-40 normal breaths. A suggestion: lie down and place hands a bit below ribcage. When you breathe in the stomach goes up and when you breathe out the stomach goes down . When I am really anxious, I take a 1-2 pause when I breathe in, count the 1-2, then let out gently through the mouth. When you start to relax, then you can breathe in and out just through the nose. Then after this exercise I do the relax. or visualization one. I do both faithfully for a few days when I am going through a lot of stress. When the stress subsides, I might just do some breathing ex. for awhile.

When I first started, I too used to get more anxious. I often thought I'd never get it right. It's funny now because they are the two things I use the most. So praticing did the trick. I think it took me about three months of just about every day to get it right. I was desparate! hope this helps you.

Oh another I just remembered: when stressed lift your shoulders up towards your ears as high as they can go, hold it and feel the tension for a count of about 3, then quickly release and let them go down quickly. Do that three times or so.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1665

How to help someone in a crisis

Yes, good info. I like the shut off the t.v. and extra noise and not having people buzzing around. Someone holding your hand is sooo comforting. I would add telling them to take a deep breath and gently release. They may or may not be able to do it right away at the peaks, but if they can as it ebbs a bit, it gives them something to concentrate on. You can do the breathing with them. I used to like a bit of a back rub afterwards to relax me.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1665

Disputes IV

okay, I need help big time. My older brother has come back from the south and although we get along fairly well, there is one area that bothers me. It's this: he communicates something to me, so I take action based on that communication. Then he says, he didn't say that, that I got it all wrong. I try and refresh his memory re: the phone call and try and use the exact words he used. Nope, he never said that. I asked him "are you saying I'm lieing?" he just says I've done this before, say that he says things that he did not say. I look at him and think, mmmm' is he getting old and forgetful, because I know what I heard. I don't exactly back down, but to keep the peace I tell him I think I know what I heard, however, if it's this way you would like us to do it, then that's fine with me. Seems to keep peace with him is better than my being right. However, I wish I could record our conversations. As it is I keep on file all correspondence, and computer messages, because this is the exact thing I am concerned about. I don't know how to deal with this, it is frustrating and maddening and I feel I bend over backwards to keep the peace. It was his first day back and visit at my place so didn't want to spoil it. I'm just too close to the situation to see straight on this one. Any suggestions appreciated.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1665

Disputes IV

Hi Shadowkins and Davit: Well, yesterday was good until lunch time when my BP when crazy again (hadn't for over two wks. so was totally taken by surprise.) Stayed in bed reading but totally worn out. Didn't sleep last night very well, bits and pieces of time, so very tired today and will take it easy again. I remember last wk. I had another friend visit to see how I was doing and that visit had worn me right out, it was the day after I had done the shopping, then the next day my brother came and that was tiring too. My brother is 70 yrs. old now.

Thanks for your advice/insights both of you. I pretty well have decided to let it go - it's just that it has happened in the past and I get fed up doing it. There are no other siblings here, we have one sister but she doesn't live in N. America. He does seem to be manic but the mere suggestion to him that he might have something wrong would not go well...I wouldn't go there at all. He's the type of person if you ask for the time, he'll explain how the watch works. I find him tiring any time, never mind when you are feeling unwell, but I am the only relative he has left and we do things together for our mother. Speaking of which, he is coming today to go over the accounts which I keep. I'm going to excuse myself and say that it's all there and if he needs a cheque signed, etc. I can just do that when he's finished looking at everything. Anyway, that's my plan.

At least we don't argue to the point of disliking each other, we keep it fairly "nice". I will take your advice Davit, and don't do anything until he gets here and we can do it together so there will be no misunderstandings.

Something else: what do you do with someone who one-ups all the time? You can tell them that you aren't feeling well and try and give the reasons (because they have asked) and they don't listen, they cut in and talk all about their own medical history. so what's the point? I remember once when my son almost drowned at a friend's cottage and my brother had asked about it, my son was giving him the details and just at the point where the scary part took place, my brother totally changed the subject. My son just looked at him and shrugged his shoulders. what do you do with someone like that?

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1665

Disputes IV

Davit: you're a good brother and decent human being. God bless you. Glad you are having good weather and getting some gardening done.

Shadowkins and Davit: thanks for listening and answering my venting. It's true I don't talk about this to anyone now. The friend I confided in has passed away, last Oct. My brother left about an hour ago and is off for another week or so before I see him again. We got the accounting done, no problems. He wanted me right there with him, but I kept my plan and didn't have to go over every single minute detail. I keep good records with everything filed properly and is easy to go over, so I set everything up for him before he came over, with a calculator and everything handy.

I think it is true that my brother lacks some confidence and I think is lonely even though he is very accomplished in life and has achieved most of his goals and has received many awards in his career. But he does bully too and often uses the phrase "because I am the eldest and only son" which really doesn't count anymore as we are adults now on the same level and my opinion should count too.

Davit, That is how manic people act? talking all the time even if you are in another room? I didn't know that. He certainly fits that picture. I thought it was because he lived alone - has been divorced for over 20 yrs. - so liked to talk a lot. I find that wearying - try and relax through it and "let it go", but in the last couple of years I can't and feel relief when he leaves. It is like a whirlwind coming into the house and everything is all about him. You can hardly get a word in edgewise. Even when I was very well it was tiring, now more so.

You asked if I have arthritis. I do a bit I think, it's funny, just before the BP went whacky I did have a sore hip, the pain shooting down the top of the thigh. It only lasted a day, I don't need to take anything, not even Tylenol. Sometimes I have a sore shoulder, but again only lasts a day or so. I have a dr's. appt. coming up end of the month and will mention this. thanks for the tip.

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