PS. This has nothing to do with writing but a classmate did a speech about how much she HATES the speech class in my speech class and it was the best speech we heard from her. It came from the bottom of her heart! Hahahah.
Yes, Dazedmommy said it, but you say it too Cornish-dee! Diva, you've always helped me when ever I was lost. Please keep venting.. it's a plus for both, or all of us. I also married my bf since HS and young marriage is difficult, marriage is difficult! I hope your husband hears your heart, because he will definitely regret it if he doesn't!!
Best wishes to you cat... I don't really know what to say for him, since I wouldn't know what I'd do if something happened to my dog.
JohnnyO- I really love the way you write. Do you write your lyrics also and poetry?
I have enjoyed reading lately. I enjoyed reading a lot about encouragements and dreams (especially children's books). Listening to music also gives me peace. I liked to sing, but I'm disappointed that anxiety gives me difficulty breathing. Painting is something I am good at but I am too critical about myself on that so, it ends up giving me stress. I started playing the piano again and it feels great when I get the right notes but the total opposite when I don't. Taking a walk is always good to me. Gardening is nice also, unless I kill the plants or there's creepy bugs.
I didn't make it to my therapist today. I imagined too much of what I should tell him and that in return made me even more anxious. I don't really know if the sessions are really helping. I really like the doctor but sometimes, I feel stupid talking to him. I know I shouldn't but I do, sometimes. I tell him the same things over and over again, each time I'm there and I don't really get much responses for him. I know his "strategy" is to make me talk and vent, but I do this enough to my family and here on these forums.. and I guess I don't really trust him too much. I feel all the sessions are the same. I tell him about my week and he just points out that I'm depressed, which is what I'm aware of. I don't like going there and having to think of things to say. "What do I say, what do I say??" Are all therapy sessions like this? I'm curious to know what type of things everybody else discusses with their therapist. The fact that I didn't go today does hurt me a little, but I'm trying to let it go because tomorrow will come! (Trying to think positive, but something is still there. ERR.)
Hi Diva, I was wondering when you were in school, did you tell your professors about your condition? I am planning to start school from the fall (following your foot steps, psychology major!) and I was wondering how you dealt with the days you had panic during class. I wonder if it's better for me to just tell the professors when I need to just walk out of class etc. I think I will do that, but was wondering if you did too.
thanks again for the input. I didn't really think about how some might be not understanding. That is a good idea to check out the councelors at school. I will do that.
Today I didn't feel like going to my painting class. I was afraid... extremely afraid. I wish I can just not think before I do things. But I know this is just another anxious day for me and it will pass to when a day will come when I can go to school worry free. I am afraid of leaving the house when there is nobody home because I feel insecure when I'm out alone, nobody can come rescue me.
Thanks Dazedmommy. It's always nice to hear nice support... and yes, I need to remember I am not alone.. especially when I am physically. I want to trust my body, again. I have an obsession to keep checking if there is any discomfort in my body, which in return causes discomfort. I need to learn to stop this somehow,
That is also a good point, Sylvie. I don't think I've really tried to over come this yet. I think it's sort of my first time to actually realize this problem I have. I think I will use this as my next exposure experiment. Thanks.
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