Hi Michael,
Agreeing with cornish-dee, the stress probably ended up pushing you. It happens. And I agree that it's all about how you cleaned it up after. They know how much you love them, but they don't know what you are going through exactly, yet.
Diva, that's a really nice poem you found. Thanks for sharing.
And congratulation on your new family member, cornish-dee. I imagine it as a new gift to your life. I hope all goes well with you in meeting your other mother. And remember that things will be ok. I always worry about dealing with people in this situation, because I don't want them to worry about me and I feel bad that I am not at my best. But surprisingly a lot of people will understand when you let them into your sufferings. They will not completely understand but it's nice to realize that people are considerate enough to let you just be. Some things that help me calm down are: going outside in the sunshine and looking at the clouds, listening to the birds and the trees dance in the wind, a good grip of the hand of your loved ones, or even looking at old photographs.
Hi Kittcat.
I'm sorry to hear about your cat's illness. I once had a dog when I was little, who was ill and we were going to put her down. My mom let us see her for the last time and I burst out crying which then caused my mom to change her mind about putting her down. My dog got well(it wasn't chronic). After a few years, she ran away from home and I haven't seen her in years. I don't know what the moral is, but sometimes, they say it will take them out of their misery. Is there a possibility that you can keep him as long as you can pay for it?
I also had depression after I got my anxiety disorders. I was overwhelmed and didn't see the purpose of trying anymore. Nothing made me happy, I couldn't find any more fun, and everyday was a constant worry of whether I will have a panic attack today. But I still had a drop of hope somewhere and that hope has grown each day. I am now seeing a lot more light than I have been. It took a long long time. But the key for me was to keep communicating. I have a therapist, I go on here to vent and write about almost everything, I talk to my loved ones and I sometimes post on the depressioncenter.net. I don't watch t.v. anymore because it just adds to my depression. I like to read. Anyways, I things clear up for you. But keep writing here, it's nice to vent.
That is great! Maybe I went to the wrong acupuncture place last time. For me, they put needles all over my face before my eyes, that ended up scaring me a lot. But the purpose for it was to cure my sinuses and not the anxiety. Maybe I need to go to one for anxiety instead?
Thanks Diva!
This weekend was my birthday and I decided to have a small karaoke party with a few friends. I was really nervous because my friend was going to bring her best friend(the one I can't get used too), and other than that, I was worried if all will go well, altogether. But I just told myself, that it's my birthday, and I won't let anxiety ruin it. And if it does, it doesn't matter what my friends think, because if they are true friends, they will forgive me, and if not, then good-bye. But whatever the outcome, I figured I will learn something. So I did it! And I got really really anxious towards the beginning. We were stuck in a small room with 6 of us, no AC! It was really hard to breathe, especially to sing! What was I thinking?!! I thought to myself... to sing when I have anxiety and difficulty breathing... but singing is what I enjoyed most, and I was sad that I couldn't do it without feeling like dying! I let the others sing the rest of the way and as time passed, I started to relaxed. So many times, I wanted to tell them I wanted to leave, but I didn't. Towards the end, I was back to normal and I felt relieved... 3 hours was finished. I didn't really have to converse with the girl, but I was still intimidated by her. I wished I could've been my best... but I accept that I did my best in this condition. I was so tired at the end of the night.
I've been through that also, but that's what I did too, I involved him into this program with me. And he has a lot of better understanding too. It's hard and embarrassing sometimes to tell him what I go through, but I do it and it's always better to tell him. He get's a better view. Good luck! Sometimes, I just write him a letter.
This is a really nice place, I hope you get a lot out of it just like I have. Impatience, I suffer a lot more now with anxiety, I'm always wanting to get out of it fast fast fast... but of course it doesn't work that way.
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