Gallbladder... anyone?

Ok, I am really in need of some reassuring words from anyone who has had, or knows someone who's had, gallbladder disease or gallstones? I was diagnosed today, due to extreme abdominal pain, and I am going to have to undergo surgery to remove either the gallstones or the entire gallbladder. My doctor said it's very common, it's minor surgery, no big deal. But I am still overwhelmed and frightened. I am worried about waiting for the procedure - what if something gets worse while I'm waiting?? I have never had surgery of ANY kind. I have never had any real health problems (only perceived ones!) so this is really scary for me. Debbi was so kind, and told me that she had hers out in the 80s and is still fine. I just keep jumping to worst case scenarios and freaking myself out. I know this is silly and nothing to get worked up about... just looking for some help convincing mylself... Thanks... Caitlin

milk

Hi Gina. I don't know if she's referring to this, but the connection to milk that I know about is that one of the milk proteins is considered to have very strong soothing and calming effects. When I started looking into natural remedies for panic, I went to my local health food store and they gave me a product called Seriane, which is made entirely from milk proteins and/or enzymes (can't recall) and it really did help me when I was feeling anxious and on the edge of a panic attack. It's not cheap, but I found it quite effective and was comfy with it because it's not a drug. Caitlin

What's Your Goal ?

Ok, who's up for this? I've been attending a CBT group in my city, and it's really helping a lot. One of the things we are focussing on is that, if you are really serious about getting control of this disorder, you need to CHALLENGE yourself. No sitting back and succumbing to fear! So, this week in my CBT group we were asked to set a goal for ourself - one goal, to accomplish this week, and report back to the group on how it went for next week's class. I made 2 goals - one is exposure work - to drive myself to the class next week instead of letting my husband drive me. The second is to reduce my anxiety and stress levels - by not getting upset or angry or annoyed or stressed out by A SINGLE thing my 12 year old step son does this week. He is a great kid - but he's a typical 12 year old boy and does a lot of little things that I allow myself to be really irritated by. Normally I get upset or have a disagreement with him 2-3 times every day. That seriously increases my stress and anxiety levels, so this week I am letting every single little thing just wash over me. If it isn't a life or death mistake, I am just going to say, "oh well, he's just a kid" and leave it at that. Those are my goals this week. What are yours? I challenge you to think of one goal for the week that you think will take you one step further toward control of this disorder. Maybe it's going for a short bus ride, leaving your house once every day even if it's just to walk to the corner, or going to the mall for 2 minutes, or driving somewhere alone, taking the kids out by yourself, or not looking up a single illness or symptom on the Internet for the next 7 days. Whatever it is, I challenge you to commit to it here, and then we can all report on how we did next week. Hey - it's a win-win situation: if you achieve your goal, you get to share that success with everyone here and then build on that accomplishement; if you don't make your goal, there's no shame in it as long as you give it your best shot! Then next week, try again, until you DO accomplish it. I believe this is the fastest and possibly the only path to recovery. Who's in?

Life... and Death

I spend a lot of time exploring the origins of my panic and anxiety. Some of them I understand (my mother was a big source of anxiety for me) but some are not so clear. One of the big ones for me is fear and anxiety about death. I realized that around the time my panic and anxiety started to appear, an interesting series of events happened. I was pregnant with my son, and happy and healthy and quite content. Suddenly, a very dear friend of mine colapsed at work and had a grand malle seizure. They discovered he had a brain tumor. They gave him 6 months to live. He was not many years older than me. He had a young son. He was vital and vibrant and - I think what really hit me - there was absolutely no way he could have prepared for or predicted that fateful moment when WHAM! you are on the floor in a room full of colleagues trying to make sure you don't choke on your tongue, yelling for someone to call 911, watching you leave in an ambulance. Then listening to the doctor basically tell you, that's it, you are officially dying. My husband was with him when this happened. Because some of the people in the meeting had flown in for the day, they insisted the meeting continue. My husband had to sit and continue doing a presentation after watching his friend of 12 years collapse in a seizure. I was disgusted by this. It was a complete and utter disregard for LIFE. Life is not about a stupid meeting. Whatever it is you are discussing in your stupid meeting, it does not hold a candle to the relevance of this young man's LIFE. I think not only the event itself, but the total disregard shown for the significance of this event really shook me up. It really made me start thinking about the weight of life - the immense almost infinite importance of it - and the terrifying swiftness with which it can all simply ... disappear. Two weeks later, I gave birth to my beautiful heaven-sent child. I think perhaps the juxtaposition of these two opposites - life and death, did something to me. Not immediately, but gradually since that time. I don't think it caused my panic and anxiety, but I think it may have been a whopping trigger. I have spent many hours contemplating life... death. I think I am coming to undertand that they are, in fact, not opposites. They are like yi

What's Your Goal ?

That's fantastic Lulu!! You should feel really proud of your determination! The more you do it the easier and easier it will get until you don't even have to think about it anymore!! I have done really well with not getting upset at my step-son. While I usually get noticably irritated or upset with him at least 2-3 times every day, I have only done it once in the past 5 days. It has made a huge difference to my anxiety and stress levels. I have to have an ERCP tomorrow (basically what they call getting "scoped" I think) which means I will be sedated so I am not sure that I will even be allowed to fulfill my second goal which was to drive myself to my CBT class tomorrow night, but we'll see. Maybe it will all have worn off by then! I am so enthusiastic seeing all your great goals posted here... it makes me feel like we're actually physically moving toward recovery and control! Debbi - you are being WAY too ambitious honey!! You need to start small, with a simple and tangible goal. And just one - not 3 or 4 giant ones. That will just be unattainable and then you won't be able to celebrate your success! Just pick one simple one - like leaving the house once every day this week, even if it's just for a walk around the block. Or, alternatively, make your goal to go one place you have never been before to get out of your comfort zone - even if it's just walking down a street in your neighbourhood that you have never gone down before. Let us know what your new SIMPLE goal is, remember - baby steps!

What has helped me the most

Hi Alison. I hope lots of folks post their strategies here so we can all learn from each other! For myself, I have realized that if you let yourself feel powerless for too long, it becomes more and more difficult (but never impossible!!) to get control again. So, the only way to get out of that powerless state is to fight back. Face the fear (there is apparently a great book called "Feel the Fear... And Do It Anyways" that I want to get my hands on soon). It's all about challenging ourselves to move, inch by inch, out of our comfort zone, while also learning and analyzing what is causing our fears or physical manifestations of fears, in the first place. I plan to give myself a new goal every single week. Some will be exposure goals like driving alone, taking the kids somewhere alone (which not so long ago was no problem at all for me!), or going to a movie/theatre etc where I tend to feel trapped. Other goals will be to reduce my anxiety and stress by changing the way I think. For example, at our CBT group 2 weeks ago, the facilitators challenged us to stop judging. Apparently this is HUGE among panic and anxiety sufferers. We were raised to judge, critique, analyze, measure, and value things - things that really don't even matter. I am SO like that - I judge people, clothing, the curb appeal of every house I drive by, media stories, hairstyles, etc etc etc. We spend so much energy focussed on critiquing that it translates into major negative emotions, resulting in added anxieties. So we were challenged to not judge for one whole week (well, more like try not to judge and catch ourselves when we did), and instead just be an observer for a week. I worked hard on this one, and it is already making a big difference to my overall state of mind. I feel much more at peace (not perhaps as much at peace as "normal people", but way more so than I usually am). Anyhow, those are my best tips for alleviating anxieties. I hope to see some from other people too! Caitlin

Getting "scoped"... yikes

Ok, so I posted under this category because I am preparing for some major self talk and anxious thought-challenging excercises. Tomorrow I have to get "scoped" - an ERCP - to check out my gallbladder and liver, as an ultrasound showed that I have gallstones which are causing major pain and some trouble for my liver. Moreover, I have to be sedated "to keep me calm" as a regular part of the procedure. I have never been sedated, and have a terrible fear of sedation/medication/being out of control. So, I have been reassuring myself: lots and lots of people get sedated all the time right? Lots of people actually LIKE it. It is not in the least bit dangerous (it's not general anaesthetic or anything like that). What am I affraid of? So what if I am not in total control for a few hours. There will be lots of doctors and nurses around to take care of me. I'm in no danger. And this test is necessary, it's not an option to duck out so I might as well relax, get it over with, and move on. I guess I am hoping to hear from anyone who has has this or a similar procedure before? I think a few folks here have had it, a lot for GERD I think from past posts... can anyone confirm that it's no big deal and I'll be just fine? :) Thanks guys.

My birthday

Happy Birthday! I hope you had a great day! Caitlin

anxiety on daily basis

Hi Angel. What you are feeling is identical to what I went thru before I started getting this anxiety stuff under control. I went to the doctor 3 times for breathing problems, I felt like I was suffocating, unable to get a "good" breath, with lots of chest pains, I felt I was struggling for air. But, I wasn't. I was just soooooooooooooo tense in my chest muscles - due completely to stress and anxiety - that I felt like it was hard to breathe. Don't worry - I'm sure your homeopathic doctor has made sure you don't have any actual breathing problems - it sounds just like anxiety. I too had the feelings and negative thoughts and tension all day every day - but that all stopped when I got serious about CBT. Have you tried the program on this site, or perhaps one in your city? I believe it is the only answer to this anxiety we are all suffering from. If you haven't already I would really encourage you to read thru the info on this site on the menu to the left, read ALL of it, it will immediately start to relax you as you begin to understand the dynamics of panic and anxiety. Caitlin

anxiety Help!

Hi Vanessa. I'm sorry you're having a hard time. Have you tried the CBT program on this site? It's a step-by-step program that you should definitely use especially if you are finding the meds are not enough. In fact, research shows that meds are not very effective alone, they are most effective if combined with a serious CBT program. You could also look into whether your city offers any CBT groups. I am in one right now and it is helping tremendously. I know I must sound like a CBT commercial that just won't shut up, but I have found it so tremendously effective, I don't think anyone with anxiety should go another day without starting a CBT program. Caitlin