I think you hit the nail on the head, and as mentioned above that's the pivotal point in CBT. I do think the difference (and the only difference) between us and folks who don't panic and have huge anxiety - is the way we think. We all take the same information and then react to it differently. I personally think it's almost inevitably based on how we learned to think as kids and young adults, which is tied directly to either our parents and/or the circumstances we grew up in. Not that it's about blaming others, not at all, we and we alone have control over how we think. But I don't think we can take full control until we recognize where the problem began...
Caitlin
Hi Debbi. I am not a professional, but I will give you my very strong and honest opinion. I honestly, 100% don't believe that anyone, ever, anywhere, ever truly recovers from this disorder without dedicating themselves truly to some form of CBT. I don't believe anxiety medication will ever make you better. I believe that in certain cases like yours, medication can help you get to a place mentally and emotionally where you are ready to tackle CBT, and get well, but if you don't take the opportunity and totally commit yourself to a step by step program that teaches you to change the way you think and react, you will never be well.
I hope that doesn't sound harsh - I am only saying that because I care about how you are doing and I want to be honest with you, because I think you are a wonderful, sweet, generous person and you deserve the information you need to get truly well again. I believe you will see a dramatic improvement as soon as you really commit yourself to taking steps that change and control the way you think. Only CBT or CBT type approach will do that for you Debbi. I think you need to think of the medication as a bridge, one that allows you to walk to the place you need to be to select your tools and resources that you will employ in your attack on this disorder.
Like you said in a recent post, getting mad helps you get control, I feel the same way. Whenever I start feeling too much like a powerless victim of fear, I get mad at the disorder, and that helps me get perspective. Use your anger to attack the disorder - don't attack yourself or who you are as a person - attack the disorder. And I personally believe you will win the battle only when you attack it by really truly committing yourself to a CBT approach.
Just my two cents.
Caitlin
Hey Alison, that does sound like a tiring weekend, but what fun to see your little girl all done up as a flower girl! Those are the things I miss with 2 boys!
I've had a bit of a nasty weekend. For the past couple of months I've had this really REALLY excrutiating pain in my back and abdomen - it only hits once every few weeks, but when it hits, yikes, I can honestly say I would choose the 28 hours of childbirth I went thru without an epidural, over the 2 hours of intense and debilitating pain I've been getting without warning. It's happened 3 times now, including the one last night, so I don't think I can put off seeing the doc about it anymore. I'm hoping it's nothing serious but of course am fearing the worst. It sounds like it might be an ulcer, I'm not sure. I'll see what he says tomorrow if I can get away from work long enough to see him.
I still haven't done the CBT buddies, I think I will need to get my husband to try to do it for me, have you got it up and running yet?
I figured out your psychologist's name because at my ADAM CBT group on Thursday, the facilitators said the workbook had been designed and written by Dr.... who was head of psych or something like that at St. B, and also had a private practice. So I thought, hey, maybe that's Alison's doctor...
Hope you are doing well, talk to you soon.
Caitlin
Hi Alison. A trip, how exciting! I so, so miss the days when I would get all fluttery and excited inside while waiting to go on a trip somewhere I had never been before - fluttery in that good way. Now of course - I'm just a bundle of anxieties. I'm sure someday I will get back that freedom to travel. Where are you going? I hope for your sake it's a nice long trip, but for my sake I hope it's a short one! I'll miss your posts!
Wow, so you took the Xanax! I think that's a good decision, to prepare for the stress of the trip and help you to just relax and enjoy yourself. I don't know much about meds, but I do know my doctor told me that if I were to go on them, they can very commonly take several weeks to really kick in, so you may not notice much at first.
Let me know how the trip goes! And just enjoy yourself!
Caitlin
Hi Alison. Thanks for the info. I'll try to make it out to one of them, right now the ADAM group is keeping me busy with meetings and homework!
I'm feeling really anxious right now, as I got my test results back from the doctor regarding the intense abdominal pain I was having. He said my liver isn't working properly and I have Hepatitis - that totally freaked me out! But he did clarify that it's not viral Hepatitis (the kind you catch from someone or something) but just an irritation of the liver caused he thinks by my gallbladder. He thinks I have gallstones blocking things and causing the pain and the liver problems. He said it was very common, but it could be potentially dangerous if I get an infection.
So I have to see a surgeon who he said will likely remove either the stones or my entire gallbladder. He wasn't sure if they used general or local anaesthetic, but thought it might be local and may not involve opening me up per se, but perhaps an endoscopy. I must admit, I am trying very hard not to cry or get overwhelmed, I know it's common, so that means it's no big deal right?? I am just so terrified of anaesthetic and surgery. I am trying to think positive - minor surgery only, lots of people have it, I'll be just fine... do i sound like someone needs to convince me?!!
Does anyone know anything about gallstones and the liver? I just keep jumping to worst case scenarios where I need a liver transplant and can't find a match... it's so ridiculous I know, I've just always been so healthy (how ironic is that considering I'm a hypochondriac!!!) I've never had a single serious health issue in my life...
Any words of reassurance would be GREATLY appreciated!! :confuse: :8o:
Hi Debbi. I second Alison's suggestions. No amount of reassurance is going to help at this point. In fact, I really think you should consider whether the amount of reassurance you seek daily is helping or actually hurting you... what I mean by that is, if you constantly focus on all these symptoms all day then your symptoms will seem to intensify and it becomes just a very viscous circle. Maybe one thing you could try is only allowing yourself one "negative" post per day, and only allowy yourself than one negative one IF you post 2 positive ones - whether it be how good your day is going, how many things you got accomplished, how you walked around the block, whatever it is that's good - focus more on that than the symptoms (hence the 2 positive posts for every negative one).
Maybe that would help you redirect your thinking a bit... after a week or so, you could move to one negative one for every 3 positive ones... I just think that all the constant posts focusing on all these symptoms are doing you way more harm than good... it's like the analogy Alison made with alcohol and alcoholics... you can become addicted to the reassurances which just feed the need to refocus on other symptoms, perpetually.
Like Alison, I hope I do not sound harsh. I just really want to see you fight back at this, and maybe starting with what you focus on in your posts could be a start...
Hope you are feeling better.
Caitlin
Got it and will do! Thanks Alison, those are very comforting words about how we overestimate the chances of bad things happening and underestimate our ability to deal with them... it is so true!
I will keep focused on how minor this is - and this is just life, I am fortunate to only have this minor problem, when lots of folks have much more serious ones. I am just going to go on with my life and deal with whatever it throws me :)
Thanks again. When are you leaving on your trip? I hope you have a fantastic time! Kick back, relax and enjoy the weather down there!
Please don't be sorry Debbi - we are all here for the same reason and we all know exactly how you feel. I don't want you to bottle up your feelings, I just want you to be able to get out your feelings without having that process become part of the problem, when it just makes you sink deeper and deeper instead of helping you climb out. Does that make sense?
You are going to be FINE, just work hard on the CBT program on this site and you will see the changes.
Also, I wanted to say that I'm not sure it's a good idea to stay in the house the way your husband suggests. I'm sure he's just trying to protect you or help you feel safe, but it will only make things worse. I think it would be good for him to encourage you, and for you to encourage yourself, to get out every day at least once. Go just a little farther every time - even if it's just half a block more each day or week. That would be a GREAT way to have something positive to post each day - tell us each day whether you went out and where you went or how far... don't rush yourself, just take it one step at a time, literally!!
Oh Debbie, I really needed to hear that!! Thank you so much, it really helps to know someone else who's had the procedure. Do you remember if you had constant pain, like little jabs under your ribs all day long, up to the time of your operation? I am doing ok, just finding it really hard to not focus on my fears about the condition, when I keep getting these constant pains that remind me about it all day long.
Have a great walk - enjoy the fresh air and the wonderful company of your son! I just got back from the park with my little guy, it is so enlivening to share in their simple joys!
It’s been a while since you were active on this site. Please extend your session below
You have been logged out due to inactivity.
Please sign back in.
We use cookies to help us learn about how our platform is used and how we can improve your experience. To
learn more please see our Privacy Policy and Terms of Use.
