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Challenging Worry

Ashley -> Health Educator

2024-04-20 11:42 PM

Depression Community

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Hello

Linda Q

2024-04-11 5:06 AM

Anxiety Community

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Addiction

Ashley -> Health Educator

2024-04-08 3:54 PM

Managing Drinking Community

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Browse through 411.749 posts in 47.054 threads.

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11 years ago 0 61 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I can?t handle the stigma, body can?t handle abuse

George,

You are in the right place.  Thank you for choosing to share your story with us.  Have you discussed medical quit options with your doctor?   I know there are some medications that make it unpleasant to drink alcohol.  That might be a possible avenue for you.
11 years ago 0 61 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Saying "No Thanks"

I have found that having an excuse to say no thank you really helps.  In my case I use driving as the excuse.  Rather than saying no thank you I drink too much as it is I'm going to abstain tonight, i say thanks but I'm driving, a soda perhaps?

my dad said to me at Easter.. 'what? you won't even have one?  that wont affect your driving'.  I was luckily able to fall back on the fact that I'm only a G2 licensed driver so it's actually against the law for me to have any BAC over 0.  I was surprised to see just where the pressures are coming from, I would have thought from my friends and peers, but i never suspected my older role models would have a negative affect on my drinking.  

I work in a bar on weekends (bartender some nights security other nights) and often feel pressure from my boss to have a few beers after we close up, or nearing the end of my shift, I always tell him I'm driving and simply can't do it.   I often offer to drive him home if he would like to have a few, that allows me to have the social drinking/bar feeling without actually drinking.  

My suggestion to help people say no thank you, volunteer to be the DD every chance you get.  Your friends, the community, the police and even the bar staff will thank you, and you'll have a feeling of purpose, pride, and self respect.  Most establishments will offer non alcoholic beverages to a DD if they are interested in having something to drink, plus you get to still hang out with all your friends.  Often if you tell the bartender you are the DD, and you 'slip' later on and try to order a drink, the bartender can help you get back on track with a gentle reminder that you are responsible for driving.
11 years ago 0 61 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
The Best Advice You?ve Ever Received

Sadly foxman it is entries like that one in the AA books and traditions and steps that tell me that AA is not right for me.  I'm an Atheist and cannot bring myself to any other religious or spiritual conclusion.  There are many great bits of the program and surely the people are fantastic, but I cannot do the 'God' thing personally.  I caused my drinking problem and I know I can fix it.  But in order to do that I will need to learn to feel and manage guilt and shame.  And in my opinion the best way to do this is to obtain the best cognitive and behavioural therapies available.  

I am the author of my own future, oddly I have been wildly successful to this point in my life and I'm sure that I will continue to be successful moving forward, just have to get over this hurdle.  Perhaps I'll write a book in the future about my travels and my struggles and my successes. 
11 years ago 0 61 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Tips on Improving Organization

My windows phone is my scheduler.  Anything I accept in windows live, facebook, google+, or on my personal calendar gets added into my agenda for each and every day.   My day is scheduled down to the minute most days.  With several jobs and bills, household needs(shopping), meal prep, cleaning and vehicle maintenance, as well as factoring in a social life, there is very little time for mistakes and forgotten appointments.  I attend several meetings with the CFI, and Pride each week on top of everything else so my days are pretty full, I'm just grateful for internet on the go (I'm on a train right now....) :)

My phone keeps me on schedule and organized what's your secret?
11 years ago 0 61 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
First time self check in when out last night!

A movie could be a great substitute to partying.  :)  I might try the same.
11 years ago 0 61 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Abstaining without much purpose

you are awesome ... welcome aboard... you can get the help you need here right now.. 
11 years ago 0 61 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Daily uphill struggle

Hi everyone,

I have a general question for anyone who has had the experience.

I am wondering if quitting and staying off of alcohol has the same side effects that quitting other substances does.  By this what I mean is that on a continual basis I fight urges to smoke cigarettes, on at least a weekly basis I find myself fighting urges to buy cocaine and get stoned.  I have been clean (off drugs) for more than 5 years, and today I'm 8 months smoke-free.  A couple times a month (down from nightly at the start) I'll have what I call a 'dope dream' in which I'm buying and using drugs and will normally wake up in a cold sweat frantically feeling around the bed for the needle ... thinking that if my bf finds it he'll be pissed off.... all the while it was just a dream... eventually I come back to reality and flip around for a few hours and hopefully get back to sleep.... in these dreams I'm usually smoking as well.

I guess I really kind of  hope that 'not drinking' will be the hardest part of quitting.  I don't want to go through any more personally abusive dreams and demoralizing urges.  I thought about removing the 'urges' via medications that the doctor can prescribe that make you REALLY sick if you drink (if it makes me sick  it will make it easier to stop in the short term and learn to do different things rather than drinking...), but after talking to a doctor they have decided they will not prescribe me any medications because of a pre-existing neurological condition.  There is no patch, or shot I can take to ease the urges

Has anyone else here successfully kicked another habit in addition to the drink?  Do the withdrawals and urges just compound onto each other or is it a different animal entirely when you quit drinking?  I'm already fighting a lot of demons and I worry about the strength of my character and my ability to control myself if I add additional stress to my self control which is already stretched thin. 

I can almost picture the new dope dreams now where I'm doing drugs with a cigarette hangin from my mouth ashing into an empty beer bottle...  I realize that as individuals we have little or no control over the content of our dreams .. but if there is anything anyone can suggest to help ease this phenomenon I'm all ears.....
11 years ago 0 61 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Daily uphill struggle

I think I'm lucky in a lot of ways in that I'm more motivated and driven than the average person.  I'm not sure why but I had a therapy session Thursday and my newest therapist had mentioned that she thought I was more motivated than anyone she has ever worked with.. 

Hell I got a BA while using cocaine daily...I'm motivated in the worst kind of way.  I know what I want and I know I will achieve it; I just hope beyond hope that it will not mean yet another daily uphill battle.  I'm just kind of getting tired of fighting against myself to get to where I want to be. 

I've been working on meeting and connecting with new people who have healthier lifestyles and have found some small successes in the way that I was able to walk right past a favourite bar with 180$ in my pocket.  I stopped and talked to a fundraiser in the street for 2 hours instead of going into the bar... I took a subway 3/4 of the way across town to walk around and talk to a fundraiser then go home lol... but I got out and I socialized.. I saved 180$ and stayed sober..


Further to your question... I have been dealing with the stresses and the dreams for a great many years now, they do not get easier... the only thing that changes with time is the ease of saying NO.  The longer I'm drug/cigarette free the easier it is to say no to using or lighting up... even with the dreams I can still say no.. but the dreams are a constant reminder of my weakness which is like a kick in teeth to start with.. My worst enemy is my own ego.. and my own sense of strength ... the dreams remind me that I'm not as strong or capable as I like to think I am... because I have obviously screwed up in the past... super frustrating ... 
11 years ago 0 61 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
81 days

Congratulations on your successes thus far!!! 

I wish you even more success in the days months and years to come.  You have worked hard to get to where you are today and deserve to treat yourself for your success.  i hope you are taking time to enjoy the simple things like  aromatherapy bubble baths and pretty nail polish :)
11 years ago 0 61 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Effects of Massage Therapy on Stress

I must admit I have never had 'massage therapy', however I have found these very same benefits from Yoga!! .. no matter what your fitness level yoga is awesome!