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Posts created by Jessica30

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 61

Binge Drinking

sadly...

I have blackouts every single day... regardless of whether I'm drinking or not ... I will not remember right now... 6 hours from now...

in the past 9 years its has been difficult to know whether I've 'lacked out' from drinking or if my short term memory issue is to blame... I'm still annoyed to all hell with the fact that I cannot remember a whole lot, but there is not a lot that I can do about it as a result of the brain surgery I under went 9 years ago......

generally I try to bring non alcoholic beverages to events if I'm not planning on getting wasted,,, that's how I prepare .. and I tell people that I'm driving, and that's why I'm not drinking... usually people respect that .. if they question it I tell them I'm only a G2 driver and as a result have to have a 0 BAC to drive ... after that they totally get it ...

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 61

Success

Hello all,

I haven't been around in a while, but I'm happy to report I'm still having great success. Regrettably I do not recall the last time I drank, so I'm not sure how long I have been sober. I do know it has been more than a month.

I have lost 10 pounds and ran my first 5k and am planning to run in the 'run for your lives' obstacle/zombie race in Toronto later this month. I was amazed at how much weight I lost by quitting alcohol consumption, and how much energy and motivation I have gained.

I have picked up 2 more part-time jobs so I'm currently working 4 jobs including one where I'm assistant manager of a sports bar.

I have spoken at length with my doctor about my drinking, and he was unable to offer any really useful help or information, she tested my liver, and found it to be damaged. The liver specialized has decided it is most likely damaged from prolonged drug use (Acetaminophen/Cocaine) rather than alcohol. In any event I'm otherwise reasonably healthy for a girl like myself. I've gotten started on a new natural health regimen that includes vitamins and minerals for liver support as well as multivitamins and calcium as well as hormone balancing combinations.

Hopefully with some luck my liver will heal and I'll be better than ever. Oddly though, just being sober makes me feel like I'm already better than ever.

The best part of all of this is the following:

my living situation has not changed.. I still have the same super loser boyfriend who drinks and smokes cigarettes and smokes weed daily... (I'm soooo seriously done with him... its just a matter of finances before I can move out)

it was a struggle but I managed to kick the booze without changing any other part of my life.. there is 48 beer in my fridge.. I'm just not the least bit interested in drinking them... I serve in a bar and do not feel inclined to pour myself one.

After fruitless efforts at finding professional help it seems it was my own mind over matter that has done the job again. I'm not sure why this seems to work for me and not for most other people, I would be interested in speaking with a neuroscientist who researches addiction and brain related issues to see whether or not my previous brain surgery has anything to do with my ability to seemingly walk away from things that others normally cannot. I am after all missing my emotional memory and mood control from one side of my brain.. perhaps that has in some way affected my reward/pleasure centre making it easier to stop behaviours that for others can become permanent life long struggles?

This is not to say that I think I'm free of addiction, I'm just saying that perhaps stopping is easier for me. I will not put myself in a position where I would be expected to consume alcohol because that is just unnecessary risk, the same applies to the narcotics I have proven to have had issues with in the past as well as cigarettes. I have stopped and I choose to stop for ever, not just for now.

well that's it for now... I'm going to cruise the forum to check on other people awesome breakthroughs and successes!

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 61

5 months today & I feel awesome - Aug. 4

Hi Splitimage,

I'm writing you today because I see your 6 month sober date is rapidly approaching. I wanted to congratulate you, and ask you how you are planning to celebrate this incredible milestone.

Congrats again.

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 61

Success

I would really appreciate hearing any info you might find about my condition or doctors/researchers who might be interested in looking into the depths of my cranium (figuratively of course).

The parts that are missing if it matters are my hippocampus and amygdala from the right side. I'm ambidextrous (I know that's important when dealing with the brain)

Who knows! if my condition can accidentally help thousands of people by maybe developing a program, or a medication or a treatment for addictions in general I think that would be a great thing. It might even be the best thing to come out of the operation. It would also be nice to get to the bottom of the issues I've had in the 10 years since the operation (short term memory loss, difficulty focusing, inability to open up and trust others, inability to feel emotions like I could before)...

it's been an interesting roller coaster... but I feel like I'm finally at the fun part... I've drudged up the massive hill and I feel like now I can put my hands up and scream and enjoy the ride.

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 61

In ONE word

Success

mental, professional and personal

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 61

I need help setting my goals

Hi jojo,

I wanted to start by saying that I think it's awesome that you are taking control of your health and wellbeing.

Whether you choose to eliminate or cut back on your consumption of alcohol I think it's really awesome that you are taking the initiative to grab hold of the issue now rather than after it has destroyed your life and you find yourself at rock bottom. kudos to you!!!

omg the rewards can be awesome...

I bought a 40$ Dr. Schols aromatherapy foot bath with the money from the first week of 'not drinking' . I loooove it. after a long day of working I put in some epsom salts and pour myself an organic spearmint tea (lowers testosterone in women and has proven calming affects and help with compulsive behaviours ie drinking) if you chill it and add lime.. its tastes like a mojito if you prefer it that way ....this helps create a very very low cost spa night where I can focus only on me and my feelings and my wants and goals. I try touse that time to plan out what I'm going to do that week in preparation for my longer term goals while reflecting on the successes and challenges of the past week.

Whether you realize it or not your goal should be .. improved health, and if reducing or eliminating alcohol is a step in the right direction, then that's awesome, but you've only got one body you should love it. Quitting drinking is one thing .. but think of all the fantastic physical affects you'll get from stopping or reducing your drinking. focusing on the positives really helps.

I found it easier to stop drinking when I stopped 'quitting drinking'... instead of thinking of it as quitting drinking I told myself and others that I was planning to get fit and lose weight... in order to get fit and lose weight I had to cut calories and I chose to cut the booze calories.. tricking yourself can sometimes help..

congrats again on your successes so far... I look forward to hearing more about your success.

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 61

My daily pledge.

Hi David and DVDB,

I stumbled upon this post and have to say it's really refreshing to see such awesome people supporting one another.

I abstained from alcohol today, how did you guys do?

Instead of drinking I went for a walk and watched the Air show and did laundry and washed my floors....

I hope you guys had an awesome long weekend.

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 61

Six Years Today!

Congratulations Foxman.

That is quite the accomplishment.

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 61

Quite a long time

I have not posted in some time. I have been sober for quite a long time, somewhere in around 8 months I believe.

I have some new concerns however as it seems that I might have gone a little far in the other direction. In an attempt to change my lifestyle completely I stopped drinking and began eating better and working out. This is all great, I lost 60 lb and I look/feel fantastic. In my quit process I left my ex and moved in with a family member who is a raging alcoholic.

I dont stay home a lot to avoid his drunken stupidity so I'm out running or 'clubbing' all too often. Although I'm not drinking alcohol and I'm not doing drugs I do find myself often part taking in other risky behaviours like casual sex (6+ people per week, often up to 35 encounters a week-not always different people). I have never really dealt with feelings or emotions because I initially did drugs, then I drank to mask them... I feel like now perhaps I'm 'emoting' via sexual activity rather than really feeling emotions. I made the mistake of discovering Toronto's hidden on premises sex clubs... so although I'm sober I'm doing other risky behaviours... luckily I also recently found SCA (Sexual Compulsives Anonymous) and I'll see how that goes. In the meantime I'm going to start avoiding swingers clubs and all of the swingers that I met through said clubs.. and will be doing everything I can to say no any additional advances (sadly since losing weight and looking fabulous I get hit on even in supermarkets and funeral homes).... I will not leave work in the middle of the day for sex and I will not take days off of work for sex. Here I go again starting yet another quit cycle...

Yay! for sobriety and I suppose its also a good sign that I recognize the need to pull in the reigns a bit on the other activities.

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 61

Starting an excercise program

I'm glad to hear that you are ready to make another change. have you set a fitness goal yet? or are you just still really excited about getting out there and getting started?

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