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Lousy Day


14 years ago 0 2606 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
cm:
 
I'm sorry to hear that you are going through such a tough situation. I hear your frustration and understand how this situation could really bring on some intense anger. Hopefully writing the situation down allowed you to clarify the turn of events and perhaps you can begin to think about your plan of action. We are here for you to lean on cm.
 
 

Samantha, Health Educator
14 years ago 0 180 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Ya:
 
Well this has got to be the lousiest day in quite a while, right now I'm so angry.  I mentioned in my last post I was starting a work placement this Friday, well I got an email from the person who interviewed me and the subject line was "crappy news" - not a good subject to begin with.  Keep in mind this is the person who showed me my office where I was going to be sitting and told me she was sorry she couldn't give me a window view, showed me their boardroom, showed me the kitchen and said you can put your lunch in the fridge and there is coffee and tea there.  Told me what I would be learning and when I suggested something she said that could be my project if I wanted to.  Said she could teach me Powerpoint 2007 as she was up-grading their system, told me she could teach me how to post items on their website as it was being re done.  Asked me when I could start.  All this & now I get an email from her this morning saying as a courtesy she let her CEO know I would be assisting her as a student volunteer placement.  His response she is too busy to take on training a student and that he would arrange for some in-house help for her.
 
Why the hell didn't he arrange for help for her before they put me through this nightmare?  Why didn't the person who interviewed me say the ultimate decision lay with her CEO and then I might have at least been prepared for  - no.  Why did she show me my office, tell me what I would be learning, what project I could make my own?  There are so many whys!
 
Now for the best part this organization educates employers about mental health - but did they care about mine - no way!  They obviously don't practice what they preach!  I was so excited to work at this organization that promotes mental health in the workplace, a company that would have understood ( or so I thought) where I was coming from.
 
What a joke!  This is the most hope I have had in 3 years and now it's dashed, I'm leaving the program at the college after this as their is no hope.  When they don't even want people to work for free nowdays.
 
The whole purpose for my going to the college for this program was to get a work placement that would allow me to re-integrate into the work force.  If I would  have know what I know now that the program doesn't assist people in trying to find work placements I wouldn't have wasted my time since Sept/08.
 
 

14 years ago 0 180 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Ya sunny123:
 
Thanks for your response.

14 years ago 0 2606 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Caden,
 
It is good to hear from you even if it's been a little while. Like sunny said, going to school and having interviews shows that you have made some really great progress and you should definitely be very proud about that. Hopefully next week will be less stressful and you will remain strong. Sunny's idea of stepping out of class for a moment should this happen again might be exactly what you need to do. Always have an escape plan for moments such as those. Keep posting and sharing your experiences as we like hearing from you!
 
 

Samantha, Health Educator
14 years ago 0 192 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi cm:  So glad to see your post...imagine back in class and interviews - give yourself a real big pat on the back!  I hope you do get more comfortable with the therapist - not sure about that, maybe she can find another way to question without making you feel uncomfortable.  Maybe when the other classmates act up again, you could take a break into the ladies' room and do some deep breathing, or use the coping method best for you.  Excusing yourself from a tense situation is not running away, as you are coming back - it's just a break to relax.  That's what I used to do at the office when I felt overwhelmed, overtired or shaky.
pls. keep posting...
14 years ago 0 180 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Ya sunny123:
 
Thanks so much for sharing your experience and uplifting words and don't worry it wasn't too long.
 
Sorry I took so long to respond but as you will see in my ""Well I'm back again" post I have had a lot going on.
 
 

14 years ago 0 180 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Ashley:
 
Well I'm back again. Thank-you for your response, sorry I didn't reply sooner. 
 
Here's the scoop I finally got a psychotherapist I think it was August, now for the bad news I'm not really comfortable with her.  When I tell her some things she says "I don't understand", which makes me think if she doesn't understand then I must really be messed up.  I have confronted her about how it makes me feel and she said it is to get me to think alternative thoughts - da!  After I tell her something she just sits and looks at me with this blank look, very disconcerting. 
 
I'm back in school again, in my 3rd semester & am going to be doing a work placement (never thought I would get to this stage) at a company that I'm really excited about.  But now I'm wondering will I be able to handle it?  You see for the past couple of weeks I have been more on edge than usual, unable to feel relaxed, agitated, panicky.  Then this Wednesday at class it was unreal, my classmates were off the wall.  Even the teacher said she was getting frustrated and asked if it was a full moon.  I was up to my limit with them all talking at once, 3 of them especially just went on and on and on.  Next week I'm going to tell my teacher if that happens again I'm outta here, I will not subject myself to that display again!  Then on Thursday I had  interviews for work placements, talked about stressed out.  These are the first interviews I have had since 2006, before my emotional roller coaster.  So right now I don't know what the heck is going on with me, I think it must be in relation to all the stress this week, at least that's what I'm hoping.
 
It seems like the depression is less & now the anxiety is beginning to surface more.

14 years ago 0 192 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Oh my - I can relate!  When I first started panic attacks I saw a psych. and after a few sessions decided I needed someone I could really talk to and have a conversation (this guy just said, ummm, yes, not much else).  Anyway, asked for psychologist and had to keep phoning and making sure I was on the list.  Phew, it was a long wait, but I made it. Now I could see someone once a wk. instead of once a month and actually have a conversation.  Don't give up.
 
Something which helped me - I tried to think of how I would treat a friend who was going through this.  So I visualized myself taking care of myself - giving myself a hug when needed, told myself it was going to be o.k., made sure I slept well, ate well.  If I wanted to cry after a hard day, I allowed that and treated myself as I would a friend in need.  We are just as valuable as a good friend.  You remember that old commercial for L'Oreal hair product?  I think it was l'Oreal...anyway, she says, "And I'm worth it".  You can laugh here!  Hang onto that. You are worth it, you are precious, there is only one you.
 
Remember how far you have come and reward yourself - give yourself a pat on the back.  When you get home after class/mtgs. and feel lousy/angry, punch out some pillows.  Sometimes physical activity gets rid of anger build up.
Well, this turned out to be longer than I planned, sorry if I went on too long...just feeling for you and hoping you get through. 
14 years ago 0 11210 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I'm sorry to hear about your bad experience caden. It sounds like you are very frustrated and understandably!
 
I know it seems to be impossible but try to be patient. Keep on pushing your doctor and eventually you will get there.  Until then you have all of us to support you. Read or reread the material in the program.  Reward yourself and check in with us often. 
 
Try to stay positive.  Many others never seek or find help so at least you are off to a good start.  I am sure this doctor will be quicker to respond.  
 
Stay strong.
 

 
 

Ashley, Health Educator
14 years ago 0 180 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Josie:
 
You know what I was referred by my GP Aug/08 to a Mood Disorder Clinic and got a call I think early late March/09 to meet with one of their psychiatrists for an assessment. Well to make a long story short. He told me that my anxiety and depression are about the same level & that I wouldn't benefit from either their anxiety or depression group CBT.  I was totally devastated & told him that.  He said that the clinic doesn't have individual CBT but did know of someone in my area who treats both anxiety and depression.  He told me he would send a report to my GP, she called a couple of days after & said she was referring me to a psychotherapist downtown (that was the beginning of April).  I felt some hope at last, but that was soon to be dashed.  I called and left a message at the new guys office to ask if their was a wait list and how long it would be.  I subsequently left another message a week later, no return call.  I finally in frustation asked my GP to call him, she just received a call from him yesterday saying he wasn't accepting new patients.  Why the hell couldn't this guy have called me a month ago & let me know, everyday I would check my answering machine looking for a call from him.  Now he tells my GP his collegue is accepting new patients & that referral will have to be sent to his collegue.
 
Who knows how long it will take his collegue to call me for an appointment.  I am at my wits end I have been allowed to slip through the cracks in our mental health care system once again.  I really think this issue should be addressed, it really makes me wonder about how many other souls are in my same situation.


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