Oh my - I can relate! When I first started panic attacks I saw a psych. and after a few sessions decided I needed someone I could really talk to and have a conversation (this guy just said, ummm, yes, not much else). Anyway, asked for psychologist and had to keep phoning and making sure I was on the list. Phew, it was a long wait, but I made it. Now I could see someone once a wk. instead of once a month and actually have a conversation. Don't give up.
Something which helped me - I tried to think of how I would treat a friend who was going through this. So I visualized myself taking care of myself - giving myself a hug when needed, told myself it was going to be o.k., made sure I slept well, ate well. If I wanted to cry after a hard day, I allowed that and treated myself as I would a friend in need. We are just as valuable as a good friend. You remember that old commercial for L'Oreal hair product? I think it was l'Oreal...anyway, she says, "And I'm worth it". You can laugh here! Hang onto that. You are worth it, you are precious, there is only one you.
Remember how far you have come and reward yourself - give yourself a pat on the back. When you get home after class/mtgs. and feel lousy/angry, punch out some pillows. Sometimes physical activity gets rid of anger build up.
Well, this turned out to be longer than I planned, sorry if I went on too long...just feeling for you and hoping you get through.
