Oh, Davit - thank you for your words of advice! Last night I had a good opportunity. This past week, the doctors have put me on one antibiotic, thought is wasn't working - put me on a second antibiotic - I had an allergic reaction - and now I am back to the first antibiotic. My stomach is in a funny state as a result.
Last night I was pretty frightened because I was so bloated that I was having difficulty breathing. I decided to have the on-call doctor paged to ask questions. He didn't seem happy to answer my questions and suggested I stop taking all antibiotics until I can talk to my doctor. I decided to take my antibiotic last night anyway, knowing that the most harm it was going to do was to make me uncomfortable and anxious. I decided, for the first time in a long while, to take 1/2 of my Lorazepam medicine. Right away I was nervous about the Lorazepam and wondered if I had made a bad choice. I finally thought of my new favorite picture (A girl and the monster that scares her having a tea party) and made peace with the fact that I was having symptoms and I was having anxiety. Of course, I did this with the help of the Lorazepam, this time. It sounds like I should do this without the Lorazepam for really good practice. That sounds much better than some of the ideas suggested in the sessions (spinning around in a chair until I am dizzy, for one). I think I am ready to take on whatever today might bring now!
Thank you! I was searching the forums yesterday because I knew that you had posted once about antibiotics that caused you anxiety! I am so relieved to know this (sorry to know what you had to go through - but still relieved to know that it may likely be contributing to my wild days of the past week!).
As I mentioned on another post, I am going to take this as an opportunity to do the panic simulation homework I've been pointing off.
Davit, did you have difficulty eating or with bloating? Aside from the fact that I am exhausted and anxious, not being able to eat is the third worst side effect that I am feeling. I think I have 4 more days. I think I might have a party when I am through!
JD, I am happy to read that things are getting more peaceful in your life. I would love to be able to take Yoga - at my gym it is always offered in the middle of the morning and I think it would be odd to leave work for an hour to do it - but maybe that's what I need to do.
One of my New Year's resolutions for myself was to live 2012 in the moment. I would make a concentrated effort to not live in the past or worry about the future too much. There is something wonderful about right now and realizing this is the space where we live our lives. I am much more at peace when I remember this - because most of my anxiety lies in what might happen 5 minutes from now, or next month, or in 5 years. When I stay focused on the present, there is much less worry.
Keep us posted with your progress good news and anything else you'd like to share. Everything helps.
It's good to hear from you and congratulations on your return to college education (I need to have a similar goal - I started college in 1989 and the last class I took was three years ago - still not done!).
I hope that all of the work you've done to learn CBT will help you with your classes. I would be nervous about a 3 hour class, too - but you will feel so great after you make it through your first, right? That's something great to keep inside for a positive thought.
I am glad you checked in and hope to hear about your successes, when you have time!
Wow, this is great, Davit. I realize now that I have to address my anxiety symptoms along with the symptoms of the strep and/or the antibiotics - and chances are most of my symptoms now are due to the anxiety. Basically, the only lingering symptoms for me are fatigue, no appetite, bloating, and a rash.
I think it's fair to say (and my doctor agreed) that these are not things that are unusual or even harmful. So, my game plan is to rest and to relax. I think if I do my appetite should return and the rash will go away and my energy will also return.
I can't thank you enough. Knowledge seems to be the most powerful tool in combating anxiety.
I will be thinking of you tomorrow, too. You will have a lot of virtual friends with you at your appointment. Thanks, as always, for sharing your positive attitude - it is contagious!
It does, Davit. I genuinely feel better than I have in days! I think that after a good night's sleep, I'll be ready to return to work tomorrow. I am so grateful to you. I hope already mentioned that your avatar is adorable and funny.
It sounds like you had the start of a good evening and then things went wrong quickly. I hate it when that happens. I noticed that Vincenza conveniently posted the Questioning Anxious thoughts questions. Have you ever tried asking taking the time to go through that exercise? There are so many good CBT techniques - that one seems to help me when I am in the thick of things. It might be really great if you take a look at those questions and apply them to how you are feeling. What do you think?
I know that it is awhile before you can see your physician so it might be best to focus on right now. Good for you for not looking things up on Google - I made a similar effort when I was down and out last week.
I'm hoping you can rest and relax and take notice of what you are feeling without needing to make any judgments. Think about the goals you have set for yourself this year. I saw them posted and I have confidence that you will achieve them and I hope that you take great pride and joy in all of the steps you take towards making those goals!
This past week is the first time that I have had an illness since starting this program. It's been rough. I think that my negative thoughts are coming from fear of the unknown and not understanding what my body has been going through.
It was really helpful to understand that a lot of my symptoms were coming from anxiety and not from my illness.
I will say that these 10 questions have come in handy a lot this week - thank you for posting this so that others may see them.
I am finally better! It feels so nice to be well again! I returned to work yesterday. I got scared at one point and went to see the nurse, just to have her check some vitals - I was fine - my glands were just a little swollen. We talked a little bit about my anxiety. She revealed that she too has suffered from anxiety in the past. It is always nice to speak to someone who understands!
I decided to call the doctor's office last night (they have staff on duty until 7 pm - I love this!) to ask for advice about the swollen glands (they seemed to be getting worse). I apologized for calling so much during the last week and the nurse on duty was so kind. She said that they are always there to help us with our health concerns - that is their service to me. I had mentioned that one of the doctors I had to speak with off-hours this week didn't seem to share this opinion. She said "Well, that is not YOUR problem. You should never hesitate to call if you are worried". The doctor working with her was great too. He called in an emergency steroid prescription in case my throat got worse throughout the night (We are in the beginning of a snowstorm and it could be slippery getting out today), I was just so pleased with the care they gave me. I am writing them a note today to thank them. They set a wonderful example!
Most importantly, how are you doing? I hope that you find a meaningful way to celebrate your anniversary. Do something that you can handle. Maybe walk the dog together and hold hands? I hope you have an opportunity to just take one quiet moment to honor each other and your love. I am very happy for you.
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