Hi Carmie, Hi Davit,
I could not get online last night, sometimes my computer will not let me connect to the internet, so finally its working again.
I have missed you Davit? Its always nice hearing from you, I am trying to think positive, the good news is the panic attacks seem too be under control, thank God, but the worry and hypocrondrias seem to be blazing! What do you think of that?
You sound good Carmie, I hope work was good today if you went. Davit had very good advice about penicillian, I take that when I get sick, amoxcillian OR Kelflex, it seems to work, the only side-effect I had was a little loose stools the first day, which was nothing, take it with milk or food, I have taken it with and without food, the only think is I think pencillian takes a few days longer too work than the new fancy ones, but only like two more days, I feel comfortable with the old timers.
I have been having lower stomach issues all weekend, pains in my lower stomach and ovaries, like a aching pain that shoots too my back, I thought it was a UTI but I have no fever, I got worried last night and kind of freaked out, I started thinking "Oh my God I just KNOW its bladder cancer or ovarian cancer or stomach cancer or diabieties, it took a long time of breathing and praying too calm down, I wish these terrible morbid thoughts would just leave my brain and body its so exhausting and scary and I know in my heart its harboring and making my recovery harder and this thing lasting longer, I really truely thought when the panics left the hypocrondrias, body symptoms and fear and worry would go, that has not happened yet, first I thought heart attack then stroke now I am in my "cancer phobia" and I hate it but I seem unable to stop it, its a little better then comes back full stream ahead, right now my lower tummy is hurting all over, I am hoping it will go away, it shoots too my lower back, the good news is the upper and mid back pain calmed down, that can be attributed to my mattress I fixed, but I cannot blame my stomach pain on a bad mattress. Do you ever have ovarian pain Carmie, like way down low on each side, I do during ovulation,, but thats over and its no where near my period, I wish it would go away, its scaring me, believe it or not its not the pain that bothers me too bad, its the fear of "whats causing it" I try so hard to focus on other things and not think about it, but it scares the heck out of me, I know ovarian and bladder are bad cancers too have, and my husband would be so mad, I mean he could not even handle the panic attacks how is he going to handle cancer? I would have noone to help me! I must stop these thoughts, thats why I sleep a lot just too get a break from all these thoughts, medication takes the edge off, but I am so hoping CBT will cure it, Sunny said she went through it three times {the program} I may have too also, my friend said "you are doing Something wrong Deb" but what is it" what am I doing so wrong??
I hope you are better Carmie and I hope you are feeling good Davit, that wood burning stove sounds so cozy.
