I have to say that I have been a little more anxious and sad than normal but I am working on it. Sometimes my anxiety is at the forefront of my mind but sometimes I just catch myself saying or thinking things that are out of character. For example, that I can't wait until the holidays have passed. Which is unfortunate, because generally speaking I love celebrating.
I was reminded during one particular situation of a wonderful service that I attended a few years ago. Everyone who attended received a candle (I still have mine right here with me). The service spoke about how so many religions and cultures celebrate light during this time of year. It helps me to remember that I have an opportunity to be a beacon for someone, who is in a darker place than I am.
Something that helped me to appreciate the beauty in this cold and sometimes harsh time of year was to put some Christmas music on my mp3 player and to go for a run while it was snowing outside. It was beautiful!
I am a big fan of delegating; I realize that I have to give up control when I do that. Using the casserole as an example, if I ask for someone else to make the casserole, I will give them guidelines but I really have to let go and let them make them best casserole they can. It's not easy but I definitely think it is worth asking for help and relieving the burden of having too much to do.
Micromanaging, I think would be to ask for help with the casserole and then to stay in the kitchen the entire time, making sure that they make the casserole well. Do you agree?
I hope you are able to make the best of your situation and to take some things of off your plate. It sounds like you deserve to give yourself a break.
Oh, Hugs how I hate that. It's awful. The only thing that works for me is to say that I need time to think about it - they usually have an answer for that, too but it's my only escape.
I took an assertiveness training course once...All that I remember is that you should think of saying no as being a statement as "Would you please pass the salt?". If we say no and don't allow ourselves to get swept up in the emotional sales pitch, we fare better. Alternately, I ask my husband to do this kind of work because he has a unique talent in not getting caught up in sales pitches. We all have our strengths, I guess!
First of all, it was really nice to hear your good news about completing just about everything you'd like to do before the holidays. I feel more anxious during certain times of the month, as I might have shared with you. Sunny and Josie have given some excellent advice and I would agree with what they've said.
Do you enjoy the song "Silent Night"? Maybe you can try listening to your favorite recording of it, or if you don't have one - maybe just singing the words? It could be a Christmas gift to yourself: to take a break and to close your eyes and listen to the words. "All is calm. All is bright".
You could even light a candle and just think about the light in your life and how it can help to break up the darkness.
I believe that when we can relax even for just a little bit - it helps to lessen the pain - don't you?
Definitely there with you. I think in my case it comes from an overwhelming desire to please people and to not disappoint. Usually calling in sick benefits my coworkers because it is really the best way to prevent them from getting sick so I try to mindful of those things. That said, I can't remember the last time that I called in sick. I was ill last summer - but it conveniently fell during my time off!
Ashley - thanks for the reminder. Taking moments like those is a special gift to me. It helps so much with my anxiety to be "in the moment". My worries always lie in the future or in regret about the past. When I take a moment like you've described, it is a wonderful feeling of peace. It really is something I should add to my calendar. It's a wonderful prescription for relaxation.
I nearly had an attack today too after a really long streak without one. I haven't been for a very long run since the temperatures have dipped below freezing. I decided to join a gym on Friday. I went for the second time today and decided to see if I could run for an hour. I did and I felt pretty good afterwards until I got to the locker room and noticed that my face was beet red. I started to have anxious thoughts and wondered if I should tell someone at the front desk. And then I started questioning what it was that I was afraid of - and I really couldn't pinpoint any one thing. Do you know what I was most afraid of - a panic attack? Isn't that funny? I took my time leaving the gym and called my husband to let him know that I was heading home (in case something catastrophic happened on the way home). Again, before I started driving - I questioned what my anxious thoughts were - and I was afraid of an attack - and of having a setback.
From everything that I've read, I will have another attack someday. I am assured that if I keep practicing CBT, it will not be like before. This sort-of setback reminded me that I never went ahead with the panic simulation exercises. I've got a lot of good CBT now so I should try it - but it seems unpleasant so I avoid it. I guess that's my new goal - to complete at least one of the panic simulation exercises. I will post here once I've been able to do it.
Anyway, I wanted to share to let you know that I am wishing you well and that I believe you are making great progress and this weekend is just a small setback. I don't think it will ever be as bad as it was before. I hope you continue to find peaceful moments for yourself, Deborah.
I like to embrace the tradition of having Christmas start on Christmas Day. I feel like we've got 12 more days to enjoy. We just got our tree last weekend so I think we'll keep it up until Friday or so. It's school vacation week for us so that kids have that to celebrate. I like what's been said about carrying the positivity of the season forward. That is what I hope to do.
I think that your strategy and approach to the New Year is good - don't worry about it until it gets here. This has been my biggest lesson since I started learning about panic and anxiety. For me, it is really important to be in the moment. Most times, I am worrying about things that might happen in the future.
My heart goes out to you for those terrible experiences. You know so much more than you knew then. The experiences are bound to be different, because you are different and you know better. Let's both remember to work on CBT, it is a gift because it can help us relax and to be at peace and to be in the moment.
That's a great way to be ready for the New Year - lots of CBT practice!
I hope you get a chance to take a nice walk with your dog - if not tonight then tomorrow.
My kids have their best friends over for a sleep over - I should go be in "that moment".
Take care,
Sunny, thank you for your post. I feel the same way about continuing to celebrate the Christmas season until Epiphany but it's our first year with a real tree and didn't know if how long it would last. As we know, the spirit of the season should last for as long as we allow it to enter our hearts. Thank you for this reminder as I begin my day today!
Debora, I am so happy that you never gave up - it is a wonderful reason to celebrate that you made it through every awful test and trial this year. You are a strong woman!
It’s been a while since you were active on this site. Please extend your session below
You have been logged out due to inactivity.
Please sign back in.
We use cookies to help us learn about how our platform is used and how we can improve your experience. To
learn more please see our Privacy Policy and Terms of Use.
