Hi Anerol: Sorry you had to go through that, I've had similar experiences and it's hurtful being judged and criticized and misunderstood. My sister and brother did not believe in anxiety disorders - "it's just stress and all in your head and why are you so sensitive anyway? Look at me, I don't care about stuff like that". And then it's all about them and how wonderful they are and on and on. I can just hear them. I may be getting a visit from someone this summer with whom I'm not comfortable and I'm a little nervous about it myself, so I sure do understand. It's nice that your family is helping you out with this opiniated person. Bravo for talking to them about your feelings and bravo to them for sticking up for you. You're doing so well, don't let this bring you down one bit. We luv ya!
Well, once I finally figured out how to shrink my pics - lol - my avatar right now is showing one of my toadhouses I made 'cause people asked to see them. I had shown my dog before because like Shadowkins, I just love my Sunny - yup, that's her name that I use too. Sunshine is her full name because I got her a couple of wks. after I had to bury my other dog - and one six months before him - and I was sad but she brought sunshine into my life - so the name stuck. I wish I could have 5 dogs!
Hi Eric: Working out in the backyard is great exercise and playing with your son is certainly wonderful. Sounds like those are a healthy balance. I remember going to my car doing breathing exercises too, especially when I felt panicky. The car was my safe place and private. I'm hoping you don't put too much pressure on yourself to do walking and yoga every day, plus stop caffeine all at the same time. That's three changes all at once. Maybe every other day might be a good start, or one day walking, the next yoga. And you'll want to study this CBT program and practice the relaxation exercises, etc. (great for the anxiety part) so that takes time too. I don't know what kind of physical stamina you have right now. Sometimes anxiety and stress take quite a toll on the physical body too. So, I'm thinking, easy does it.
I remember going off coffee totally for almost a year. Perhaps one morning coffee would be o.k., but that's up to you. I drink two cups a day now, and herbal and green tea, the rest of the day.
Ladypugh: Sorry to read you are having such a hard time right now. I know when I was sleep deprived it felt like I was a zombie the next day, sore all over and really anxious/stressed out. Finally after getting all my relaxation tapes out and using them 2 at a time if I had to, it worked. I am sleeping much better and finally, when getting up, feeling revived. Pls. don't give up, you are past the worst part of the SSRI. Keep your eye on the goal - you can do this. We are here for you and you can lean on us as much as you want. I've been through these scary times, I know it's no picnic, but I am attack free today. Let us hold your hand too and console, encourage and just be there for you. God bless you and keep you safe. I will be praying for you every day. You are not alone.
My relaxation tapes include a man describing and leading a muscle relaxation and visualization, one is a woman doing the relaxation ex. and visualization and a few sleep/dreamy type music ones with birds singing, rain, ocean waves (my favourite with seagulls) and even a thunderstorm in one of them, and some classical music, but as Davit says, no crashing and banging type music. Depending on my mood I switch from male to female voice. hope this gives you some ideas.
Ladypugh: Just thinking - when you take your xanax and feel calmer, this could be a good time to do the relaxation exercises. Perhaps a tape for muscle relaxation. You may not be ready yet to do any exposure type work until you learn to relax. At first the tape may seem not to work for you. That's o.k. as it takes awhile to become familiar with what to do - and just listening - if that's all you can do. That's o.k. too. I have found for me, it took about 3 months to really "get it", to finally feel the relaxation, to allow my body to relax. It may not be that long for you and what's three months compared to the rest of your life? I have also found that repetition is the key. That is, doing the relaxation exercise - whichever one you are comfortable with - every single day at approx. the same time, and again at night before sleep. You may become agitated at first (I did because I was so frustrated that it wasn't working - or so I thought) but it will come with practice.
Pls. don't feel badly about taking medications. Does a heart patient take his? A diabetic? someone with cerebral palsy, muscular dystrophy? cancer? Why not us? We are not that more special afterall. We are human and sometimes we need help just like someone else might.
I'm saying a prayer for you because I sure remember how awful those panic days were and thinking no one understood, nor could they help me. Keep the faith.
Hi E: I too a few years back used to dread death - and a lot of the feelings you expressed in your writing. I had to stop those negative thoughts. One thing I did, and still do once in awhile, is yell "STOP" inside my head anytime one of those negative thoughts come round. Do you remember the elastic around the wrist? When you wanted to stop something, you'd snap it really hard and it would sting. That's a form of distraction - yelling stop to yourself is sort of like that. It takes a bit of practice, but hope you try it. It works for me. You could try the elastic trick, nobody has to know why exactly.
Davit: YOU BET! Is it for counseling? I love learning new things especially when it's something I'm really interested in. You'll do well, I'm sure, because you are a caring person. Let us know what you decide.
Davit: Am saying a prayer for you right now. You will have a wonderful day, you're right, springtime watching the trees fluff out and the birds singing away, is so beautiful. Enjoy your drive and the scenery. Good luck. Let us know how you are.
Hi Ladypugh: I think those physical sensations you are having are symptoms of anxiety/panic, not side-effects of the med. I used to get tingly all over my jaw, neck and left arm - negative thought would be - I'm having a heart attack. Also, hot and cold flushes are symptoms too of panic and anxiety. Have you noticed that your list of anxious thoughts are negative thoughts? CBT will help you change those negatives to positive ones.
Try "I feel crappy right now, but I know with this medication I'm going to do great. Just a little more time". and smile when you say it. They say smiling releases endorphins, the feel-good hormone.
The falling asleep problem is harder. I know I struggled with it too for about a yr. I remember telling myself, well, at least I am resting. Maybe you could use the extra xanax before bedtime to help you relax and get that good night's sleep. A hot soak in the bath helps to relax muscles. Cup of hot milk. Have you tried a relaxation tape, or just soft music? Still praying for you.
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