Feeling a bit down lately and found out yesterday I need a different surgery for eyes before they can proceed with the laser one. Anxiety level o.k., just the waiting game, eyes still hurt, bothering me.
I've reflected on things a lot these past few days and I remembered something from past support group. Don't remember what book it comes from. Thought I'd share. Sorry it's kind of long.
WHO OWNS WHAT
A helpful tool in our recovery, especially in the behaviour we call detachments, is learning to identify who owns what. Then we let each person own and possess his or her rightful property.
If another person has an addiction, a problem, a feeling, or a self-defeating behaviour, that is their property, not ours. If someone is a martyr, immersed in negativity, controlling, or maipulation, that is their issue, not ours.
If someone is in denial or cannot think clearly on a particular issue, that confusion belongs to him or her.
If someone has a limited or impaired ability to love or care, that is his or her property, not ours.
If someone has no approval or nurturing to give away, that is that person's property.
People's likes, decptions, tricks, manipulations, abusive behavious, inappopriate behaviours, cheating behaviours, and tacky behaviours belong to them too. Not us.
People's hope and dreams are their property. Their guilt belongs to them too. Their happiness or misery is also theirs. So are their beliefs and messages.
Some people don't like themselves, that is their choice. Other people's choices are their property, not ours.
What people choose to say and do is their business.
What is our property? Our property includes our behaviours, problems, feelings, happiness, misery, choices, and messages; our ability to love, care and nurture; our thoughts, our denials, our hopes and dreams for ourselves. Whether we allow ourselves to be controlled, manipulated, deceived, or mistreated is our business.
