Wow Ashley, thank you so much for replying. I thought this question is just so silly, there is surely no answer. But you showed, that there indeed is.

So sorry, for replying back only now, honestly, did not have the energy. I am asking, how could I let it come so far. To get so exhausted.

What are the signs in life that show you, you are moving to the wrong direction. That show, 'if you continue going along this way, you'll end up exhausted, depressed, and as a different person than who you are and supposed to be'.

Sorry, this is now another question: which signs of your body and mind would tell you? Would you suddenly get headache, sleepless nights, an urge to eat sweet stuff? Or would there be a silent voice in your head asking you some irrational questions?

Would that be, how it would look like, when you make wrong decisions in your life? Which then lead to depression?

And if there are currently nothing like signs in you that warn you, how can you develop such a sense for yourself? And why don't we have them from the beginning on? Is this genetic? Or do we have that and we just lose it at some point in life?

Getting back to your reply: that's a fantastic idea, to ask someone you trust. Family member, or a really-really good friend. I am determined to do so and find out, what they can say to this.

Shame on me, but I can not remember the specific situation that made me ask, how can I tell, if I changed, and how should I change back to what I was. I just know, the question became then just so important to me, that I posted it here. I am still struggling remembering who I was, to try to get back to that feeling, to that level of quality of life - when there were no 'un-interpretable' feedback by my environment and when I had energy to pursue my dreams.

Thank you so much again. I will try to follow your recommendation.

And if you have some input to these new questions, that would be great. I am looking forward to it, in case you have.

Hi Ashley,

I know that there is something like a 'structured eating' as I have done this program some times ago. And yes, it truly worked for me that time. I am also so much grateful for making these programs publicly accessible. They are a blessing.

These days I have lost some weight with another, completely new approach. And it is not very much like 'structured'.

I don't know how long this approach will last, but for the moment it still works for me.

This new approach is, that I only eat when I am really hungry. And then only healthy stuff.

And I don't eat what I don't like, but only eat what I right now 'feel for'.

I guess, the difference is that I am thinking now thinking: life is short, and I am old enough to determine, what I want to eat. And only pick that one specifically, not more, if I don't really want any other things. Maybe you could call it an extremely choosy approach.

However, one important thing I learned from this program too, and that I also keep today: I don't wait until the point when I am so hungry that I would overeat. That is truly critical.

Another thing I have changed for success: I really enjoyed cooking healthy recipes for my family and myself. But I recently recognised how the daily cooking makes me also eating then when I am not specifically hungry. I usually argued (bargained), "this is so healthy, so I HAVE to eat it". Well, no. Just because it is healthy, I don't need to make my body working all the time and give them work to process all the healthy ingredients. Or at least, not now, and not for a while.

I am still eating healthy, but I only follow my truly own inner desire for food.

Not sure if this is any helpful that I am writing. I just wanted to reply to you - actually much earlier. I found the energy only today to write this down.

Hi!

I was wondering if anyone here knows anything about the relationship of gut bacteria and depression?

Sometimes there are articles around this topic, but I am missing more details and how I can leverage this information to help myself and others with depression?

Which bacteria is helpful? Which one is bad especially if you fight depression?

How can you nourish the "good" bacteria in your gut?

What is the current knowledge about all these?

Does anyone know more? Would you mind sharing?

Hi!

here is another question:

How can you turn loneliness into independency?

I used to be so independent and strong in myself. And I would like to find back to that feeling again.

All I feel today is loneliness and dependency.

Why does one feel dependent and fragile?

Why do I have the impression that nobody around me wants to have my company?

Is this feeling part of depression? is it distorted feeling, or is it real?

Hi Ashley

trying to reply here in a new thread to your question. There is something wrong technically on this website when I am trying to reply directly to your post.

Not sure if what I am writing is really any helpful, as things may be different for different people.

But here is what seemed to have worked for me regarding hunger-control:

I must admit, I have the feeling that I have lost some of the enjoyment coming from food, by not cooking at home much any more, and by not going to restaurants where everything is prepared nicely. So this may play a role in some people, like me too. I think much of the "hunger" was not real hunger for me but rather desire.

Again, I am not sure if this is making any sense, I am just Trying to make any sense out of how I lost some weight. Many other things and changes happened in my life recently and I am going through a crisis. So maybe also that is helpful challenge just everything you have been used to doing until now. For example I challenged the way I am eating, what I am eating and when. I recognized that I don't need to feel full to stop eating. I think I stop at 20-30-50% of fullness. Not because I want to starve or so, but just out of interest, to see if I come by eating much less at a time. I am then again trying to listen to my body, when is the critical point to eat just SOMEthing. Then I eat just something, not much.

Maybe once a day, in the morning or over lunchtime I am eating up to fullness.

Again, please don't lose time by taking my words too seriously, as I believe, timing may play a role too. As do others maybe which I am just not aware of.

Hi Ashley

trying to reply here in a new thread to your question. There is something wrong technically on this website when I am trying to reply directly to your post.

Not sure if what I am writing is really any helpful, as things may be different for different people.

But here is what seemed to have worked for me regarding hunger-control:

I must admit, I have the feeling that I have lost some of the enjoyment coming from food, by not cooking at home much any more, and by not going to restaurants where everything is prepared nicely. So this may play a role in some people, like me too. I think much of the "hunger" was not real hunger for me but rather desire.

Again, I am not sure if this is making any sense, I am just Trying to make any sense out of how I lost some weight. Many other things and changes happened in my life recently and I am going through a crisis. So maybe also that is helpful challenge just everything you have been used to doing until now. For example I challenged the way I am eating, what I am eating and when. I recognized that I don't need to feel full to stop eating. I think I stop at 20-30-50% of fullness. Not because I want to starve or so, but just out of interest, to see if I come by eating much less at a time. I am then again trying to listen to my body, when is the critical point to eat just SOMEthing. Then I eat just something, not much.

Maybe once a day, in the morning or over lunchtime I am eating up to fullness.

Again, please don't lose time by taking my words too seriously, as I believe, timing may play a role too. As do others maybe which I am just not aware of.

Hi Ashley,

thank you your for this good question. I think this is a very helpful question.

And I am asking myself each day since I read your post. But it is not easy.

I will keep asking myself further as this may be a longer list at one point.

I just found one thing so far:

Earlier I did not believe those subtile critics and comments of some teachers who clearly did not want anything good for me.

I made one big mistake now, that I started believing my manager how ‚bad‘ I really am, when I am not. It will take time to get back to normal if possible at all. As this has been (and still is) a brain-wash process over the last 8 years under this manager.

so far my list... will post more when I find out more.. maybe it is also helpful to others.

Hi Carlc66,

I am so sorry you are so far away from everything!! I am struggling with loneliness too even though I am not living in a rural location. It must be very hard when you are also physically alone..

You can be proud of yourself for being so resilient and waiting patiently for your consultations, and using the time here with moving forward on the lessons...

I also don't know who I am any more, and what I want or can still do with my life. Not sure where to get the inspiration to get back to my old self. Maybe somebody from my past? But they surely changed too. Everything and everybody has changed and changes. So surely, I won't understand them so well as I did before, and they won't understand me so well either. Or just it won't work out, as it was a long time ago.

I need friends - but how does that work? I don't feel OK in my current body.

Don't know if I am trying something too hard, or just not trying properly. But somehow nothing works out.

Every effort I take goes wrong. Nothing I am doing leads to success. Every try to connect with people or get help is going wrong, and I don't know why.

Not sure where to continue what I started, and which ones should I continue? How do I find out, what's worth fighting for, and what's not?

I can see, you are dealing with lesson 3 now - correct..? Wow, that's great... I need to continue my lessons too... maybe that is going to help one step forward.

Hi Ashley,

I liked the old format of seeing immediately if someone posted something new.

I also like the other aspects visible too (i.e. the statistics of how successful this program is), but have the impression, the current site setup is somehow trying to hide the 'support' aspects and highlight the 'advertisement' aspects, and not sure the two are in the right proportions this way. I am sorry, I really do not want to be a poor sport, I appreciate there is much work behind the new setup, and it is really nice. Maybe a more transparent split between the two businesses could be the right balance - like: go here for patient info and go here for professional info or similar... just an idea.

The site made an authentic impression on me as patient, as long as these 'benefits' were not advertised. I somehow can better believe in the '.care' mission.

Even though I know that there must be some benefits for someone, somewhere, e.g. clinical research, or similar, but seeing those results together with the community life is somehow less motivating for me as a patient to post. I feel a bit like 'sold'. I feel like a 'subject' versus a patient, if you know what I mean. It gets a bit less patient-centric for me, and that aspect was coming through better earlier.

I hope it makes sense what I am writing. I am just writing because you asked, and it is in no way a critic or so. I am trying to think along with you, like, what if I was in the team that manages this site.

Hi Ashley,

I meant, that it was useful for me to see if there was any response to any of the posts, with just one click: the click of this website.

I did not need to click 2-3-4 times in order to get to that specific page, where I can see the most up-to-date status of the conversations, either of mine or of others. Maybe I am doing something totally wrong(?).

To see who is the most active user in the month, was not too relevant for me, maybe that can be interesting for others from a different point of view.

Don't know if this is any useful information to you or your group. Please let me know if I can provide any other feedback that could be used.