I feel the same way. I think it has given us a lot of empathy for others in our situation, even if the details of the addiction are different.
It also made me realize that, as a nicotine addict, I am relatively lucky that my drug of choice is legal and safe (I don't mean healthy, I mean that you don't have to worry about it being laced with something or buying it from a dealer on a shady street corner somewhere).
Well, other than my life being a complicated mess at the moment (but really, whose life isn't?), I haven't smoked since that stupid weekend, and notwithstanding that slip, today I celebrate 4 months. I'll take the good with the bad. :)
Good luck Gray. I too live in the Chicago 'burbs and am SO GLAD I quit before this miserable winter descended upon the midwest. It truly has been the worst winter I've ever experienced in my life. Think about how nice it is to stay indoors in the warmth instead of going out for a smoke 20 times a day! Keep taking things day by day and reward yourself for a job well done. :-D
I'm pretty sure I coughed a ton more the few days after I quit than I ever did when I was smoking. I think the lungs just need some time to clear out all the gunk, which they finally have the opportunity to do now that you're not smoking anymore.
Just thought I would post a quick hello to my quit buddies. It's been a while since I've logged in and posted anything. I just rounded the corner of 5 months quit. It hasn't been easy but it's also not always been too hard. I'm finally starting to feel myself coming out of a really awful months-long depression which may or may not be related to the weather in Chicagoland going above 0℃ on a somewhat daily basis at last. On the other hand, I've had a relapse of ankle pain after I'd been allowed to start running again (my healthy drug and free therapy) and I'm getting myself emotionally prepared for another round of surgery. (I guess it's time for the screws to come out.)
I'm actually surprised at how little I want to smoke most of the time, but when a craving comes, it hits like a hurricane and can reduce me to tears. I'm mostly just letting myself go along now on auto pilot as a nonsmoker, and not upsetting my routines which have no room for cigarettes anymore. That said, I can't say I'm not a bit nervous about the upcoming nice weather, especially if I won't have my normal outlet of running. I'm not expecting to actually smoke but I'm sure the triggers and craves will be there, so I'm just trying to be prepared and ready for them when they hit.
It's been hard for me to actually post on here and say hello, feeling as down as I have, but I've been reading and all of these posts have been helping me stay resolved. Congrats to all of the new quitters and thanks everybody for your help and insights, as always.
That is a great clip! I always love it when I find lemon twist references... I was Googling it the other day and found this dive bar in Anaheim, which I hope is still open if I ever find myself in Anaheim again (http://www.yelp.com/biz/lemon-twist-lounge-anaheim)... I hate dive bars but I'd go just to say I went. :)
Thanks for the kind words everyone. I've been able to do some moderate biking and walking, but not without pain, so I'm basically just counting down the days until I have a date scheduled for another round of surgery... hopefully the last. My long term goal is to be running, outdoors, in above-freezing temperatures, with a healthy ankle and lungs. :)
I'm sure we've most all had dreams about smoking. But sometimes I get the most bizarre, nonsensical smoking dreams ever.
For instance, a few months ago I dreamed that a friend gave me a pack of cigarettes which I smoked, and they were mushroom flavored. For some reason, in my dream, that didn't disgust me. I woke up thinking something along the lines of "wtf?" and also thankful that the sensation of taste does not exist in dreams. As if the taste of a cigarette enough isn't gross enough, to add mushroom to that?
Then last night I dreamt about being at some sort of gathering of people in a house, and I was in the kitchen and noticed cartons and cartons of cigarettes and boxes of matches. I went to get a pack, and it turned out to be coffee grounds, so I made myself tobacco coffee. What on Earth?
Am I the only one who gets these strange dreams? If not, please share yours!
I have almost always had smoking dreams as far back as I can remember. Before I smoked I used to have recurring dreams about trying to buy cigarettes and never being able to find a store, and going on some epic quest to find one, and once I finally bought a pack I'd wake up.
After my first serious quit attempt I didn't dream about smoking much, but I do remember one or two where I'd be texting a friend asking for support and then I wouldn't hear back and I'd go buy cigarettes and smoke, and wake up feeling super guilty.
This time my smoking dreams are few and far between and usually just straight up weird. At first I'd dream about being almost literally surrounded by cartons of cigarettes and chain smoking constantly. They don't bother me too much lately because they're too out-of-this-world to be believable dreams. (Mushroom flavored cigarettes? I knew I was dreaming even in my dream.) The worst are the dreams where I'm at the gas station and buy cigarettes and then casually smoke one, because it feels real, and then I feel awful when I wake up before I realize it didn't really happen.
Surf, I don't know if the dreams go away. Maybe they do... but at least for me at 5 months they don't bother me as much. And maybe if I want a cigarette for real I can just remind myself that I can wait until I go to sleep and have one then. :)
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