I think of you as a forever friend. You are way too young to be like a grandpa or uncle to me. We're only 11 years apart in age. We are more like piers (in age). I'm sure you have more knowledge about anxiety and panic and coping skills, having been on the successful side of it longer. Your friend, Shari
You would be the person to ask this question to. I've been looking for an answer for 11 years. Do you have to clean the eggs before you prepare them to eat them? I've heard everything from take them straight from the nest and put them in the fridge, to washing them with liquid dishwashing detergent and water using a wash cloth, to using a scouring pad to remove caked on poo or not using them at all, and all the hatchery catalogs sell professional "egg wash" and specially holed buckets and an air pressure type unit that feverishly scrubs the eggs with water. You can understand my confusion. Also, do you know how to tell if your particular chicken lays salmonella eggs? Or, are they all that way and cooking them well kills the bacteria? Your friend of a thousand questions, Shari P.S. My Italian Grandparents had a 150 acre dairy farm in New York State. Being on the farm was the happiest time in my childhood. One of my happiest memories was riding a horse in the field with the wind blowing in my hair. It was the greatest feeling of freedom and peace I have ever had in my life.
We are here for you. I began not long ago and felt relief even after Session 1. I was like you and Teebs with random attacks (during stressful periods of my life). When my daughter left for college, two years ago, I had bad ones and I couldn't live like that anymore. Thank God I found this site. You will get so much support from everyone here and will make a lot of friends. I know you will be able to beat this. It's learned behavior and you can unlearn it and be cured. We all go at our own pace and progress, so don't compare yourself to anyone. You will do it in your time. I am happy you are here, this is the place to be!
Your critical voice sounds a lot like my mocking voice. Literally, I tell it to stop and I counteract it with a positive statement and when it comes back, I keep going with positive statements, until I have the last word. Even if I have to think about something else to turn off the negative voice. I think it's just a matter of time and not giving up the positive talk fight. It is frustrating. I was a perfectionist and I am still working on the good self esteem part. I know it sounds like you should be doing something more, but I think it's that basic, just counter act repeatedly. It's like a bratty child that keeps pushing you until you give in. The only way to stop it is to not give in. I think you are coming to a turning point and are going to reach a new level of success. Because, that's when the critical voice is at its loudest, right before it gives up and you get promoted to a new level. Don't give up. I know you will win, not the negative voice. I had trouble with it too. I hung in there and kept fighting until I can now say to the mocking voice, "Shut up, I don't believe you and I don't want to hear it." And, it goes away. Your critical voice will get quiet. Sometimes it's a long drawn out battle, but I know you will win the war! Keep fighting, you're worth it!
Great sense of humor. I do the same, I try to find the humor in every situation. I used to say, "One day I'll look back at this and laugh." Now I say, "Why not laugh at it now." Once in awhile if a younger person says something like that to me, I just think, "One day you'll be this age." It reminds me of a story when I thought I was old (ha ha). When I was in my 30's and had a random gray hair or two, I decided to dye my hair blonde. I looked at the hair swatches (if that's what you call them) and showed the hair stylist "golden blonde". After she applied the color to my hair, I said, "This looks too dark" and she assured me it would "lighten up" after drying. When I looked in the mirror, I was a very dark red head! I called my hair stylist friend as soon as I got home. She told me to get a box of hair color at the store that said, "ash blonde" and it would counteract the red and make it blonde. After re-dyeing my hair. It was ORANGE. I don't mean carrot top orange, I mean flourescent crossing guard orange. What was worse is I had a dental appt. I had my hair stuffed in a cap and received odd looks in the waiting room. I've never been the white elephant in a room before, or I should say orange elephant. I told everyone the story and they all started laughing. Then I took my cap off and you could hear a pin drop. It was one syncronized gasp that sucked the air out of the room and then it was replaced by even louder laughter. So much so, that the dentist, the assistant and the patient he was working on, came out to see what was going on. Afterward, I went back to the place to get it fixed and they tried to blow me off. So, I sat down with my neon hair o' flames and said, "I can wait all day." You should have seen the looks of the customers coming in, and going back out. They got me in the chair in about 5 minutes. As you probably have guessed, I haven't colored my hair since :)
Where we live, the soil is clay. So, I'm guessing it's a minus four or five :) I love milk goats too. We are zoned for them also. I always thought it would be cool to make goat milk soap and sell it at a health store. Re: your ex neighbor. I have found the same thing. People remember who you used to be and not take into consideration who you are now. And, sometimes they never let you forget. I don't like that feeling. That's why I take people for who they are now. Everyone changes and grows :)
I think you already are a comfort to others by not giving up and sharing your thoughts on this thread and that's a positive contribution. We are all glad you are here :) Your friend, Shari
When I got overwhelmed, with trying to absorb all of the information, I just read posts and took a day or two off, just not thinking. It will get easier. Taking baby steps is great, because you are moving forward. I think when we're caught off guard, with turning a corner and seeing a spider in front of us, it is unexpected and takes us aback. I have had similar thoughts. My cat keeps bringing in salamanders from the front porch and they just pop up here and there. I don't know why it bothers me, since it's just a little salamander, and yet I am able to pick up a 75 lb. Python snake. It doesn't make sense. Everything's going to be okay Patti. We're here for you and this I know, you will get better, just like Cleo said :) Your friend, Shari
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