Hi Lisa25 and Jaylee,

Welcome to the site and well done on your progress. I read through your posts and had to smile because I thought I was the only one that liked to reach out to my phone book when I had too many drinks. The first week is always tough however you seem to be on the right track with constructive activities to replace the drinking. This is day 35 for me and I was in exactly the same place you were 35 days ago. I can tell you with all sincerity I finally feel like I have my life back. I've been putting off the workouts to some degree and tomorrow I start back it in a more focused plan. Getting "addicted" to exercise is such a positive thing and will really help you immensely. If I can make a suggestion....I think it's important to define you're drinking problem as it relates to you. There is a wide spectrum of drinking problems, ranging from problem drinkers, to hard drinkers, binge drinkers, and, what seems to be the most extreme end of the spectrum being "alcoholic". We're not alcoholics. I say this because of my own history. I've heard the term alcoholic for some time to describe problem drinking but I quit very much the same way you are. I've made a life choice that drinking simply doesn't work for me anymore. I've had my fun now it's time to move on. I'm fed up with what it was doing to my life and I was ready for change. It wasn't easy at first but it is much easier now. And the effect it has had on everyone around me has been overwhelmingly positive in ways I never suspected or could have imagined. I find it so interesting that an addiction to one thing (alcohol) can be characterized as a "disease" yet an addiction  to exercise is not. Contrary to Cryptkeeper's suggestion (sorry David, no offense), the power to overcome an alcohol abuse problem starts with you and relying on a supernatural power to obliterate it isn't the only way to truly overcome it. I'm not suggesting for a second that you not pursue any spiritual awakening, By all means do....but if it were the only way then I wouldn't be where I am right now; relaxed, confident, motivated, and happy I'm putting this behind me. Yes, there is some discomfort at times when I project forward and imagine when I tell people I enjoy hanging out with I quit but the good outweighs the bad ten-fold. Certainly explore any avenue that feels right to you, be open-minded, and ask A LOT of questions, of both yourself and everyone on the forum. There are so many different resources out there to help and it's amazing how quickly you can find them with a PC, an iPad, and a Kindle subscription.

 

One other thing, alcohol abuse really wipes out the balance in your body and depletes vitamins so drink lots of water and start back replenishing your vitamin counts if you haven't already. Vitamin deficiency can have a huge impact on you both mentally and physically.

Best wishes and keep up the excellent work moving forward.

Dave

Just a correction.....I said  "We're not alcoholics."What I meant was "We're not ALL alcoholics".

 

Peace

 

Dave

Hi Rob,

Excellent work and making through 90 days. Very big congrats on that. I really appreciate your insight on the 90 days because it helps me get a glimpse into my own future because I will be there soon (another 55 days or so). When I quit early this year it was entirely driven by sticking to a workout program and a desire to have a break but I never truly quit. I knew I would drink again however this time is much different. Making a commitment to quit is much different. I can appreciate what you're saying about the long-term sustainability and that's something I'm giving a lot of thought to myself. Have you spent much time really listening to the content of how you speak to yourself? This is something I've been doing a lot of lately. It's so subtle that we often miss it. The reason I ask is I find I'm doing a lot of research and reading on the subject of alcohol abuse. It's funny (oddly), many on the site mention thinking a lot about drinking. I find I spend a lot of time trying to understand the root causes of alcohol abuse but not much time thinking about actually drinking. 4

 

Fantastic work Rob! It great to have you as a resource moving forward.

 

Best regards,

 

Dave

Hi Jaylee,

On to day 3! Fantastic! Be patient and stick to your resolve Jaylee. It's quite a storm those first few days and week....both mentally and physically. I found myself to be agitated and withdrawn the first few days and then an over-whelming need to keep busy. Triggers are a challenge as they come from so many angles. Listen carefully to your thoughts when you feel these triggers because they hold the answers to putting on the safety so the trigger can't be pulled. Eventually they go away.

 

Thank you so much for the reminder of Tolle's book "The Power of Now". I tried reading it before but really wasn't ready to receive the information inside. A light went off when you mentioned it so I think it's time to revisit.

 

Check this out if you haven't. It's an interesting perspective:

 

http://www.rational.org/index.php?id=36

 

Keep up the great work Jaylee! You're not in this alone and we always here when you need support.

 

Best regards,

 

Dave

Hi Camiol,

I'm doing well, thank you for asking. I had a great weekend and got lot's of motorcycle time in. The weather here in Burlington has been very nice. I'm finding I really haven't had any craving for alcohol at all, which is kind of strange this time around because I'm often making trips to the beer store or LCBO for my family. In fact it's just the opposite. I find the times when I do actually think about drinking I never think to myself "I'm quitting" or "I can't drink" and start to get stressed. I usually think "I really hate what it did to my life" or "I don't like the way I get when I drink, I really enjoy NOT drinking". I thought I would obsess about it more but it simply isn't the case. And the feedback I've been getting has been overwhelmingly positive from my family and the great people like yourself on this site. I do spend A LOT of time reading about the subject, the variety of treatments, the  progressive long term psychological and physical effects of alcohol abuse. It's really interesting and the progression of abuse seems to follow a specific path and, through progressive and constant abuse, alcohol re-wires your thinking and we're left with this struggle to quit. The good news is recovery is possible for everyone. 

Smoking had been a little tougher. I gave myself permission to smoke over the last couple of weeks because I felt like I was biting off more than I wanted to chew, with quitting drinking. I'm on day 2 again now and will be giving it my focused effort as I've added workouts into the mix. I'm also doing a 3 day detox to kick start the process, day 2 starting today. I've noticed my eating habits need to be kept in check. I'm not over weight (yet) but I've had a real urge for sweet stuff (chocolate, skittles, etc) since I quit drinking. I've read this is common and I've enjoyed it but it's time to cut sugar from my diet for a while and focus on healthy eating and exercise. It's really amazing how your body reacts when you remove certain foods from your consumption. I would have killed to eat a few potato chips last night!

Best of luck with the job interview! You have so much positive change going on in your life right now. Keep it moving forward. Your progress is very apparent and inspiring!

Turquoise, how are you doing? How is your health? I'm enjoying month 2. And you?

Best regards

Dave

Hi Turquoise,

Hang in there because you're doing so great. I wake up tired and a little edgy myself sometimes however if I go for a bicycle ride and plug in some good audio it really helps. I too am open to messaging outside of the board but will definitely continue to post and read this forum as it's a great source of strength. And just for the record, messaging outside of this forum is open to anyone that wants to send me a message, lurkers included. I've set up an email: 2014progress@gmail.com. I'll test this out and if it goes south, well, no big deal. 

Keep up the excellent work!

Best regards,

Dave

Interesting scenario Vincenza. I find when I make a concrete decision to stop something, like smoking or drinking, life wastes no time in testing me and your scenario is a good example of what is likely to happen. So, here's how I approach it......

• Traffic- rush hour traffic is a great opportunity to listen and learn. I have a lot of audio to listen to like learning a new language (Spanish for me right now) or positive messaging and learning. As a result I like rush hour because it's really slow and I can focus. Road rage is always a big issue so when I get involved with the crazoid in the other car I always try to think of "Who else is in the car with him/ her?" especially when they're alone. I can't tell if the guy is a fireman or a cop and is on his way back from a shooting/ car accident/ domestic violence/ etc. Or maybe he's quitting drinking and he's freaking out! Or maybe he just had a fight with his wife. I guess my point is I do my best not to take anything personally and slow down, smile and let them in front of me.
  
• So I make it home and my piss-tank relative is there (both my mom and mom-in-law are just too cute and short and pleasant ever to get mad at). Well, if they don't see me through the front window I back out of the driveway and get the heck out of Dodge! Just kidding......I'll pop in, say my "Hello's" and disappear into my office (I work from home and only hit traffic if I'm out at a meeting). Maybe take off on my motorcycle because, as the saying goes, "You'll never a motorcycle parked outside of a psychiatrists office!"

Just a correction....  "You'll never SEE a motorcycle parked outside of a psychiatrists office!"

 

Peace \

Dave

Hi Carolina,

 

Welcome to the site. You've done an excellent job of summing up your current challenges with alcohol and I have  no doubt many on this site, including myself, can really relate to your history and will have lots to share that can help. It's sounds like maybe you still have some things to resolve around you dads passing, which I'm very sorry to hear by the way. I've been going through something similar with a family member and I can appreciate when you talk about the anger it brings on. What are your goals right now? To stop drinking, take a break, moderate? It definitely sounds like the alcohol abuse is on the rise so it's great you're addressing it now and you want to put your relationship with your significant other first. The fact that you recognize that says a lot about your character, strength, and courage so well done!. One thing I would suggest though.......give yourself some time to resolve any issues, alcohol free. Drinking may seem link a coping mechanism but it's really a doping mechanism and it doesn't help the situation. A person simply doesn't think straight when they are chronically drinking and the first few days of coming off drinking can be erratic at the best of times. So to answer your question....." I'm really looking for at this point is some cold-hard truth and some reinforcement that yes, I do have a problem and it's time to address it...." Yes, it's a problem and it's time to address it, and I suspect you already know that. The good news is you can sort this out, all it takes is commitment and determination.

 

Don't hesitate to dive in and post as much as you need, ask a ton of questions, and share your challenges and successes. One thing I can guarantee, everyone on here is will back you up and help anyway they can! The sense of community really helps.

 

Best regards,

 

Dave

 

Hi everyone,

A common thread in this cycle of alcohol abuse seems to be boredom. It's something we can all relate to and it needs to be addressed as it is the basis for all sorts of triggers. If we are bored for long enough we become restless. That restlessness leads to anxiety and irritability, which makes for a great catalyst to have an argument with your significant other. Ahhh, let the triggers begin! Imagine it's Saturday and you (deliberately) don't have anything to do ("I'm bored") and you are now in the situation I described...how does the thought of tossing back a few cold ones make you feel? I don't know about you but I'm starting to feel pretty happy and relaxed right now just thinking about it (fortunately I quick drinking because the reality is I find no happiness in drinking, only misery).

I ask this question for a variety of reasons however one that occurred to me today was the time of the year. We're at the tail end of the summer and here in southern Ontario w're faced with an extended period of time where we don't go outside as much, fall > winter. This period of time lasts 5-6 months and you really start to feel the lack of sunshine, community, and just a general sense of well-being because it gets quite grey, cold, and slushy. So if you're bored in the summer then project forward and think about how you'll feel being cooped up in the house!

So.......let's hear some reasons why we're bored. Is it possible we are bored out of fear? If we actually pursue what we dream of, are we afraid of success because that little voice inside our head says "You don't deserve success, happiness, etc"....? 

Have we actually locked ourselves into a state of thinking where we deliberately leverage (unknowingly) a negative feeling like boredom to maintain this alcohol abuse? It kind of makes sense.....it's easy, takes no (apparent) effort and the cycle is consistent, familiar, and provides relief (A HUGE BLOODY LIE IF I'VE EVER SEEN ONE! It takes huge effort to maintain a negative attitude and it exacts a huge toll so don't kid yourself.

Is it alcohol abuse or alcohol excuse? (Just thought of that :) but I think there's a lot of truth to the excuse part).