EvolutionHealth.care

Home
Main Forum
Managing Drinking
Dealing with Urges
Bredom.....

Advanced Search Form

Bredom.....

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1009

Hi Ashley,

Thanks for the response. I brought up the topic of boredom because it is a reason we hear over and over as a catalyst for the urge to drink. It seems the majority of people who fall into the area of problem drinking seem to be in the 30-50 age bracket. Correct me if I'm wrong but I do emphasize "majority", and then comes the realization\ need for a recovery. This coincides with a lot of other factors; young families, work progression, etc. We tend to put our personal interests aside while we work to manage our general lives. Often I've seen friends completely drop what's important to them when they get married and have family, only later to end up with a drinking problem and\ or a major mid-life crisis. As stresses increase alcohol becomes a subtle but progressive management tool. Skip forward 5, 10, 15 years and, viola!, we have a drinking problem. The lack of balance in our lives (personal interests included), combined with the trigger-based programming we assign to drinking, leads to the inevitable alcohol abuse challenge. Yes, there are many more factors the come into play (unresolved issues, legitimate mental health challenges, etc) and contribute as well.

I can only speak for myself here but the cycle of drinking, euphoria, hang-over, guilt and depression > back to drinking almost becomes a hobby\ interest unto itself. The effort and energy it takes to maintain this leaves no room for much else. It completely strips me of creative interest and energy and the result is I lose touch with who I really am. I know the "drinking me" very well but the "sober me" is lost in the obsessive haze of the binge and years of neglect. Yet when I stop and really make the effort to remain sober and alcohol-free my creativity, and interest in life in general, exerts itself with a vengeance. I begin to find the real me again and boredom becomes the last thing on my mind.

Boredom can become an excuse to drink. We often set ourselves up for it deliberately (unconsciously or not) and we'll find all sorts of reasons to maintain it. Stress, boredom, anxiety, etc...they all seem to go hand in hand and maintain the negative cycle of alcohol abuse.

There is much more to this....just thought I would try to push the topic forward....

Best regards,

Dave

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 272

For me, learning what I liked doing was a huge part of recovery, since I'd been coming home from work, and drinking until I passed out for so long.

Out of pure desperation for something to do, I learned to knit when I was in a psych hospital in 07, that was when I was newly sober for the first time, and much to my surprise I liked it, and was good at it. I've been knitting on and off ever since. In the last 18 months, I've been unemployed, and gotten more serious about it, and took a bunch of classes to learn new techniques. Now I knit daily and love it. Knitting has been a big part of my recovery.

The other thing I've done is gotten back into playing my harp. I started learning to play when I was still drinking, but needless to say didn't progress very far. Now that my hands aren't shaking LOL, I play much better.

Writer. I've always been a writer, but I write a lot more these days, it's a great way for me to deal with emotions.

Watching DVD's. When I was drinking, I missed a lot of great TV in the 90's and 00's. So I've been getting TV series on DVD and watching them. I find I enjoy watching one or 2 episodes of whatever show I'm on before I go to bed, and I like seeing series in order, back to back, with no commercials.

Those are some of things I've taken up to keep from being bored.

spltimage

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11216

Hi Dave,

Interesting discussion. It is important to find replacement activities when stopping drinking. Since drinking can be such a big part of your life it can result in heavy drinkers having few hobbies and other interests. So, finding other activities that you find exciting and relaxing is so important.

Interesting thought though that we use boredom as an excuse to drink. Then drinking prevents us from doing things we want which leads us to beleive we can't do things we want... Sounds like depressing cycle. So how do you think we break this cycle? Pin pointing it is a good start. But what next?

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 154

Good morning Dave,

I have been thinking over the points you raise below about the link between "boredom" and drinking. No doubt, idle hands make for the devil's plaything, meaning if you do not keep busy, the devil (mind) will find ways of occupying your time in ways that are not always beneficial.

For me, boredom and buzz are two big triggers to taking that first drink. Using the chicken and egg analogy, I'm not sure which comes first the "boredom" or the "desire for a buzz." The former lays the foundation or environment to drink while the latter is a mental craving initiating in the mind whether you are idle or busy.

I know of hard-working people (e.g. landscapers, roofers, paving or garbage crews etc.) who are craving a drink while they are busy and can't wait to hit the local watering spot once they are done. There's this other guy whom my son knows who is always coming to him near the end of his shift and saying in French "J'ai l'appel de la soif". Loosely translated, this means "I hear the call for alcohol." In both of these scenarios, it is the craving (desire for a buzz) that begins in the mind and not necessarily boredom that prompts the person to drink. Using your example below of a boring Saturday, you use the words "...how does the "thought" of tossing back a few cold ones make you "feel"?" I don't know about you but I'm starting to "feel" pretty "happy" and "relaxed" (insert "crave for a buzz" instead of happy and relaxed) right now just "thinking" about it.

Boredom is not so much a "state of thinking" or a "negative feeling" (first sentence of your last paragraph below) as it is a "state of being" in which "I am bored." Craving, on the other hand, is a state of thinking (the mind). As an alcoholic faced with the choice between "boredom", which I must admit is a problem for me, and "craving a buzz" (can happen when you are bored or busy), I'll choose the "craving for a buzz" any day.

My two cents worth.

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1009

I meant Boredom on the topic thread. Can an Admin correct that please?

Thx

Dave

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1009

Hi everyone,

A common thread in this cycle of alcohol abuse seems to be boredom. It's something we can all relate to and it needs to be addressed as it is the basis for all sorts of triggers. If we are bored for long enough we become restless. That restlessness leads to anxiety and irritability, which makes for a great catalyst to have an argument with your significant other. Ahhh, let the triggers begin! Imagine it's Saturday and you (deliberately) don't have anything to do ("I'm bored") and you are now in the situation I described...how does the thought of tossing back a few cold ones make you feel? I don't know about you but I'm starting to feel pretty happy and relaxed right now just thinking about it (fortunately I quick drinking because the reality is I find no happiness in drinking, only misery).

I ask this question for a variety of reasons however one that occurred to me today was the time of the year. We're at the tail end of the summer and here in southern Ontario w're faced with an extended period of time where we don't go outside as much, fall > winter. This period of time lasts 5-6 months and you really start to feel the lack of sunshine, community, and just a general sense of well-being because it gets quite grey, cold, and slushy. So if you're bored in the summer then project forward and think about how you'll feel being cooped up in the house!

So.......let's hear some reasons why we're bored. Is it possible we are bored out of fear? If we actually pursue what we dream of, are we afraid of success because that little voice inside our head says "You don't deserve success, happiness, etc"....?

Have we actually locked ourselves into a state of thinking where we deliberately leverage (unknowingly) a negative feeling like boredom to maintain this alcohol abuse? It kind of makes sense.....it's easy, takes no (apparent) effort and the cycle is consistent, familiar, and provides relief (A HUGE BLOODY LIE IF I'VE EVER SEEN ONE! It takes huge effort to maintain a negative attitude and it exacts a huge toll so don't kid yourself.

Is it alcohol abuse or alcohol excuse? (Just thought of that :) but I think there's a lot of truth to the excuse part).

Best regards,

Dave

Reading this thread:

today's top discussions:

This Month’s Leaders:

Most Supportive

Most Active

Most Loved

Bredom.....