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I need help setting my goals

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 100

Thanks dvdb. That's a good point and I appreciate your insight. Of course, I would like this to stop before I have to hit a super low point so I will try to learn from others' experiences. It's really frustrating because my parents always warned me that drinking a lot in university, even though "everyone does it" is what led one of their friends to becoming a severe alcoholic down the road. I always thought I would curb after school (turns out I'm doing years of grad school so that's not really a helpful goal anymore!!) - and that I couldn't have been that bad because I actually drink a similar amount to a lot of people in my peer group. However - I think my friends are not the greatest population sample because when I did the survey in the toolbox, I am in the top 2% of people my age and gender for amt of consumption + according to that pyramid thingy, I am dependent. Now that really freaked me out... So yes, I think not drinking at all would be best for a significant period of time. It's going to be very awkward at family dinners, let me tell you that.

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 77

hey,,jojo....this is a progressive disease...my struggles arnt everyday now but i am sure that one or two drinks will set me off to the races...i had to hit a very low point in my life b4 the advice and insights started to make sense and i changed my goals to not drinking at all.....i would much rather put the time and energy into better relationships with family and friends

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 100

Hi Mosty,

I'm glad that someone else feels similarly to what I do. I feel a little bad talking about my problem at times because I feel like others are really struggling not to drink every day and so I feel like my problem isn't as legitimate even though I know it is. So it's nice to hear that I'm not the only one who thinks this is crappy enough to do something about it! Good luck with yours too Mosty and I will mention the vomiting to my counsellor next time I see her (not too long from now). She is a GP. I hope your doc's appt goes well and that you're in good health.

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 8

I'm exactly the same jojo if I don't drink I don't crave it and like you can go for days without a single drink my problem starts once I have one!

I think you should see a Dr to check out you are ok after the vomiting, I've been getting an intermittent twinge or slight ache in my mid to right abdomen after heavy drinking so I'm going to see my Doc to get checked out I'm just hoping it's not too serious

Good luck with your abstinence

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 100

Hi Mosty and Vincenza,

Thanks to both of you for your welcome and support. I've looked at many parts of the program and there seem to be some really great strategies and ideas. I'm glad you're finding yourself able to moderate Mosty, that's great! I feel weird because I actually don't have a huge struggle going for days without drinking, it's just when I do it's over the top. I think right now my goal is to stop drinking altogether until Sept. 8. After the 8th, I'm thinking abstain except when I am at family dinners (which is once every couple of months, and I don't live in the same town as my family). I really enjoy a nice glass of wine with a good meal with my family and would like to stick only to only 2 glasses of wine at those dinners - rather than a beer before dinner, and a drink after too. Plus, around family I seem to show more self control. It's the nights at home with a bottle or two of wine to myself (and/or friends/bf who I party with) or access to a 24 of beer that really cause the problems. So I think I'd like to abstain from that type of drinking for at least a few months as this term of school is going to be very intense with applications, etc. Even though "months" seems really long term, I am going to try to think of it as a one-day-at-a-time issue so I don't get too overwhelmed. Looking forward to getting to know people on the site more. Thanks guys!

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1853

Hi jojo64,

Thanks for introducing yourself and again, welcome to the AHC forums.

It's good that you recognize that taking control of your drinking, in whatever way you decide, has to first and foremost come from you. I'm sure you will hear back from many people with suggestions and tips on what has helped them - whether they completely abstained or cutting down.

Take some time to work through the program available to you on this site. The more information you equip yourself with, the better prepared you will be to stay focused on controlling your drinking.

In the meantime, I suggest consulting your health care practitioner about the incident you had of vomiting blood to determine what may have caused that.

Let us know what you decided to do. Here for you,

Vincenza, Health Educator

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 8

Hi Jojo

Your situation sounds so similar to mine, I have found cutting down is working for me though I am finding weekends tough, I had a small victory this weekend by drinking low alcohol wine instead of full strength weekdays I am managing to stick to 2 drinks per day - you have to do what feels right for you I am no expert and this is just a suggestion but why don't you try cutting back and if you struggle with that try a period of abstinence

Good luck with the goal you set

Mosty

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 100

I just introduced myself on the "Introduce Yourself" forum and am trying to get a handle on what my goals should be. I'm conflicted - my boyfriend thinks I should abstain for awhile because he is worried about my health (I was vomiting bloody mucus - yuck, sorry for the graphic) and my best friend who also tends to be an extremist like myself thinks that if I quit altogether I will set myself up for failure, and so should drink in moderation. Of course, I want to make the decision for myself, not just take other peoples' advice but I really don't feel like I even know what would be best right now.

I don't think I'm alcohol dependent, but am definitely an abuser. I can go for days without drinking but drinking seems to be my only recourse to coping with stress and "turning my brain off" from all the thoughts I have. So when I drink, I go hard. Lately, I've been drinking by myself and feeling like I need to get to a certain point of drunkenness before I'll stop. It's just getting bad and I could see it leading to alcoholism if I don't stop now. I guess I do fear that if I quit "cold turkey" I'll be setting myself up for failure/relapse and I fear that if I try to be moderate, I won't be able to stop myself and I'll go overboard. Any suggestions for coming up with realistic goals here? I will start by saying that I do not want to drink at all until after September 8, because I have to write the GRE at that point and I'm majorly behind on my schoolwork (writing masters' thesis). Any ideas/support would be muchos appreciated! Thanks.

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I need help setting my goals