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Posts created by Gailerina

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 90

How´s it going?

I go every February for a physical due to my family having a history of almost every disease known to man.

I know part of my problem is fighting anxiety and depression right now. Also next week is rough for my family, Thursday will be the 2 year anniversary of my dad's death.

I also learned my one brother (who I have not spoken to in over a year) is having some personal issues.

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 90

Off the deep end

I talk to myself at times and when people hear me they can look at me weird.

I've tried to accept I'm weird and if others think that, it is ok.

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 90

How´s it going?

I'm feel off this morning and I know why I believe. It just sucks.

I like mental bubbles, it helps. The older I get, I feel the worst people get. I used to be a fan of Black Friday shopping and I really want to hold onto that tradition because of my dad, but I just can't do it this year. After last year and all the stupid stores opening so early, it doesn't feel the same :(

Even in regular stores, it can be crazy to just get out of the parking lot.

People are just in such a hurry, they rarely pay attention to people.

It's getting cold here too, but I am hoping it doesn't snow. I don't like driving in it anymore.

Lately some mornings it has been hard for me to get up again and I don't want to sink back into where I was a few weeks ago. My mom had an episode last night (that is what we call them). I discovered she was experimenting with her insulin :/ I threaten to take her to the hospital. Thursday is the anniversary of my dad's death, so we knew the episodes were coming. She gets really angry or sad, so we have to watch her so she doesn't do anything stupid. I don't think she will kill herself, as she sees it as a sin. Could she accidentally kill herself? Yes. We have to make sure she takes all her medicines. My sister is to call her primary care doctor today to see about refilling her nerve medicine or getting her on some kind of anti-depressant. I am worry about her, her sight is failing and she has mentioned she would never want to live if she can not see :/ She has not eating well either, she gets these thoughts in her head that believes are fact and follows them. She believes is she gets to certain weight, she will get better and be healed....that is never going to happen. She has too many health problems and she never takes care of herself. I control everything, even the money. I buy her proper foods and we don't let her snack all the time. My mom is like taking care of a 5 to 6 year old at times. Her angry causes tantrums, but they have not been violent in a long time.

Sorry I'm ranting.

I hope everyone is doing ok.

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 90

How´s it going?

We have suggest to my mom getting involved in groups, but she wants nothing to do with them. She also gets sick if we are out too long for some reason.

My therapist believes I took on too much responsibility after my dad died, but I had no choice really. It all started before he died anyway, someone had to be the responsible one.

I do have my sister with me and we try to work things out so one is home most of the time with her, if I did not have my sister I have no idea what would have happen by now.

My mom has made it clear also if we ever put her in a home, she would find a way to kill herself and she will make sure we know it was all our fault that she is dead, as we killed her. I don't think she would kill herself, but I can see her doing something. She used to get herself in diabetic comas on purpose to get attention and go to the hospitals. My dad told her the last time it happen ( a year or so before he died) that the next time she had to go to a hospital for something like that, she was never coming home. He would find her a home for the elderly.

I think I miss my dad's strength the most. I sometimes also wonder where I would be if he had not died, would I still be in this state? Would I be in this career? That's the problem with What If's....they can make things worst.

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 90

Vitamin D

I was talking to a manager today about some things and we got into a discussion of depression and anxiety and she was talking about Vitamin D can cause some issues.

I did look this up and it has been researched and studied.

What is anyone else's opinion?

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 90

Vitamin D

I look at web MD a lot, but normally I will look for articles through the school library and make sure they are scholarly journals and etc. The number of studies are numerous and so are the opinions.

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 90

Vitamin D

Finding accurate information can be hard, especially because of the different opinions.

I did a 10 minute walk during lunch, but I still feel tired. I really just want to go home and got bed.

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 90

How´s it going?

I've always said my mom will probably outlive me, which is not a good thing. I have no idea who is responsible enough to take care of her.

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 90

How´s it going?

Red1, I hope everything goes well at the dentist, I now it can be worrisome. I remember when I was having my teeth worked on, it can be a long process.

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 90

How´s it going?

It's been a pretty bad day, I've stay in bed all day. I don't see a reason to get out. I miss my dad.

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