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16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 185

I miss too all my past friends so I understand you verry well.

A big hug!!!

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 538

Today on the 8th ( I know it is the 9th now but I haven't slept yet...) it had been 2 months that Oscar died. I thought about it a lot but had no time to express this all since today was drama day. I miss him so much. I still have not put away his food bowl. I still haven't put his glucose meter away. I still get pangs of intense grief a lot. I still have not washed my stupid shirt... Is it normal to feel like this so long? I miss him. He is a good cat, a very good cat. I found a pretty autumn leaf for him and put it in his urn for him. I wish he had had one last autumn to play in the leaves. I miss him. On days like today where it feels like my life is goind down the tube, I really miss being able to hold him and listen to him purr. His presnce was such comfort to me. Anyway, sorry for another whiny post. I just didn't want today to go by without me taking time to remember him. So I want to put this out there in the universe. I love Oscar and I miss him. And wherever he is, he is a very good cat.

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 142

hello again,
i was raised catholic, too and i think they excel at instilling guilt in you at an early age. guilt and shame. don't question, don't ask, don't think, don't touch yourself - you'll go blind! you mentioned rituals, that can be comforting. the only thing i like about catholicism is the mystery. i've had bad experiences w/priests - they make lousy marriage counselors! when my grandfather died and me, my mom, my aunt and grandma were left waiting for one hour for the priest that was to perform the service. when he finally showed up, his collar was undone, he had dental floss wrapped around his watchband and he said "whooo you wouldn't believe the morning i've had!" i lost it! asked him to follow me to hallway where i told him off, big time! now with all the pedophiles and bishops covering up for them, i've lost all respect for the church. which is sad, because i want to believe in a creator that cares or a fellowship that cares but i don't. i find spirituality in nature and science. i don't believe in original sin - what a concept! you're damaged goods right out of the gate! i hope your head feels better - protect your head at all costs!!!!

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 538

P.S. Sorry for not addressing you one at a time and for the short replies today. I hit my head and have a splitting headache!

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 538

Hello Everyone.

Thank you so much for all your lovely replies. They game me a lot of diferent perspectives on this to consider. They help me looked at this is a calmer way. Thank you for those who shared about your dreams or nightmare. It helps to know that this is part of the normal grieving process. Mostly, your replies brought me peace and for that I thank you profoundly.

Btw Rose, I was raised Catholic why?

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 142

hello diva,
i get from your dream your dislike or fear of being judged or criticized. in the dream you tell your husband, "don't look at me this way" he replies "of course, it is your fault". dreams say alot - in this instance you have nothing to feel guilty about. animals have such a short life span - it's not fair. were you raised catholic, by any chance? what way don't you want to be looked at? vulnerable? crying? you need comfort from him and it seems, by this dream anyway, that you're not getting it. hang it there!!!

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 34

Hi Diva,

Sometimes I think that depression doesn't want us to get better. You had a pleasant dream and then depression came and stopped it because you were getting better. As we get closer to a breakthrough, to peace of mind, the depression tries to take control again.

I think that if I realize that , then I'm getting better.

Take care . You are talking about it to people here. A problem shared is a problem halved.

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 3043

Hi Diva,

I'm sorry you had a nightmare and it is bothering you. I really don't like those haunting nightmares myself, they can really disrupt your day. Others have offered their opinions on what your nightmare might mean, I agree that you are still holding yourself responsible for Oscar's passing in your subconscious. It's a belief that you will need to challenge. There's no one in the support group who feels you are responsible, your cat needed you to do what you could for him. He was failing and would continue to do so. You did a loving thing for him and he is not in pain any more. I do not believe he would want you to be in pain either.

It is too difficult for me to say what your dream means for sure. Sometimes I think the only meaning is that the subconscious is just making us think about things we try to bury without fully dealing with them. Other times I do believe the purpose is to let us know that those we must let go of are ok and want us to be also. (I had dreams like that after my Great Aunt and after my Grandmother passed, it did help me to let them go and move on) But that's just my thoughts and I find they're often wrong.

May Oscar's memory bring you only smiles - he would want it that way.

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 3043

hi diva,

I hope you do not mind if i attempt an explanation.

Remember your emotions are what are hurt right now. Depression does that. And one symption of depression is nightmares and poor sleep. It seems there is a glitch in the communications between the conscious and sub-conscious minds.

That said, What do you Believe Diva? Do you believe that those we love can come and confort us from beyond death? Do you believe that love is the stongest of social bond and can hold souls together through life cycles? Do you believe in an afterlife and than animating energy (soul)? If you do then it it is possible for you to see that Oscar has come to comfort you and tell you all is well. To tell you that all that you feel that is negative is from you, not him. He is shinny and happy.

A death is always hardest for those that are left behind and it is why humans need rituals. We need to mark the passage of time and severe ties. We need cues to begin the process of grief. Even for a cat.

I will send all kinds of hugs to you today diva. x0x

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 823

Hi Diva, Your dreams are a reflection of your consciousness and sub-conscious thoughts. It does sound like the last bad dream was quite vivid and upsetting for you. Personally I feel that dreams of loved ones are ways for them to connect with you on a soul-to-soul basis...........in a spiritual way. That brings me comfort because I feel the ones passed are still connected with me in a special way and are almost "looking over me" like guardian angels. I feel that for you, Oscar is this.........a guardian angel who was loved and loved you very much also. The first part of your dream was lovely and comforting. This is how you should remember Oscar. The second half sounds like the terror of the reality that he is no more. But is NOT your fault.......Sheba is right. You were with him right up to his final moments...........that shows how much you cared and still do. Cherish your memories of Oscar, but don't forget to appreciate and nurture your other cats who also adore you Diva. Feel better, Faryal, Health Educator

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