Cleo
You know me, but neither one of us have been on here long enough for you to have known me two years ago. I was a mess. I saw my therapist yesterday for a friendly visit and to discuss some ideas I had about anxiety. She told me about me two years ago when I first saw her. I was suicidal, and Agoraphobic so bad I could barely walk down the hall to her office. I would not believe that there was any relief short of taking medication for the rest of my life. I swore up and down that I would never get better. I would have to psych myself up for days to go to town and many a time the anxiety when in the grocery store was so bad I thought I would pass out. I would drive slowly by my favourite coffee shop and want a hot chocolate so bad but I just could not go in. I would cry so bad all the way home because I was sure I was going to die either from this or by my own hand. I locked my gun cabinet and threw the keys on the roof out of my reach. I had panic attacks every night at around two in the morning and they lasted one to three hours and left me drained the next day. I was scared to sleep. I was addicted to Ativan and it took me a year to get off it and I was off for a year before I got relief from the damage it had done. I had myself committed to the Psych ward for rest and observation. I had to be in a hospital for Staph infection any way so I might as well get answers. The answer was that there was nothing mentally wrong with me I just had an anxiety disorder.
No for some of us twelve weeks is too short. But even taking two years to get freedom is worth it and I am well on the way to being able to do what ever I want, when ever I want. So for any one who thinks I haven't been there, I have, there and worse.
Any way a few of the things my therapist said: most people have Agoraphobia in one or more of it's forms, The what if thought is the most common form of anxiety and journaling is the best road to relief. There were a lot more questions and answers but most were to make sure I was on the right track and just for my information bank.
All of you will get better if you want to, all you have to do is replace all that negative thought with positive. "The hardest simple thing you will ever do". But if you stick too it, it works. And you know if you don't put a time limit on yourself two years goes by pretty fast. Look at all the things you will get to celebrate in that period as you get better.
Here for you, all of you.
Davit.
