Thanks so much for the replies. I feel much better now.Going to work and being busy with other people's problems was good for me..and of course venting here helped so much. I was calm by the time I got to work. Hungry too...cause I didn't have lunch ! lol.
David..I agree..tomorrow I'm going to relook at my numbers...I think I was so worried about them that they appeared exagerated; my anxiety makes them seem worse than they are. This in itself is exposure for me. Instead of pulling the cover off the display in hindsight I think if I had got hubby to do it and tell me the numbers I would have been better able to cope. It goes back to my worry that I am not strong enough mentally... I beat myself up about it because I think I should be "normal"...like I was years ago...when I didn't mind having imy BP taken. My desire to be sensible and responsible about this causes me extra stress. I'm going to try to be easier on myself...this is something I have been anxious about for years, so it won't go away overnight.
Sunny... thanks so much....and wow your pulse is low! Glad to hear you do fine.. even as a fitness instructor!Impressive! I hear you on the BP machine...I can take them but I dread having mine taken. It is so good to have people who really understand this !
Those numbers are pretty good for some one with panic. Mine are up and never used to be. Your reaction is normal too. I see you survived, so why not look at the numbers again, since they aren't in the danger range and since you can knock off a bit for anxiety. If you are really concerned ask your doctor for some propranolol, it will bring down your BP and your anxiety. You know you can use this looking for exposure hey!
Thank you for the lovely picture. It really does make you feel all warm and relaxed inside. I love the glow. I do love the sunrise and sunset pictures. Yes the sunrise picture is a live picture taken by my partner while we were camping in the desert. We call it "The Burning Bush" thats what we both though of when we saw the sunrise coming up and radiating through this bush and the beautiful glow emitting its self around the bush. it was really breathe taking in person and even more so when captured on the camera. A Sony Cyber-shot is the camera we use. When have not taken a special classes. I just think you have to be in the right place at the right time and of course the scene has to touch you and call out to you. My partner has a real gift when it comes to the sunrise and sunset pictures etc. I am glad you enjoy it. I try to share the pictures that I find touching and that show all the beauty that their is to see in nature. I hope you get yourself a camera you like and start taking a few shot while you are out in nature. It really is a very rewarding and relaxing hobby.
I can only reassure you in that I also have done the same as you have. My pulse is very low, around 45 or so, but I am on a beta blocker for BP reasons. I do just fine with it that low, even when I was at the gym and doing very well too, free weights and machines. Mind you, it does go up to 60 and a bit then. I was even a fitness instructor at one time and did quite well. Good luck for your appt. on Friday, will be thinking of you and say a little prayer. I'm not too keen on that part of the visit either. I do just fine with every other doctor, dentist, opthamologist, etc. just that darn BP machine. lol
SIM: love your new pic. A few suggestions for your phone call to family member - if I may. What is the goal you are trying to achieve? Be clear about the message you want to send. What is the outcome you are hoping for. In communicating, try to use "I" statements, rather than "you, did this and that" or "you make me feel...." . try, "I feel such and such when this happens". You don't want to put them on the defensive with finger-pointing "you" statements. Once you get it out, then the ball is in their court. Be prepared for the fall out if there is any, but try and remain as calm as possible. Keep it simple, short and to the point, without a lot of sidelines. They may or may not listen. Be prepared for that too. Let them vent and get everything off their chest too without interrupting, then see if you need to clarify anything. This isn't easy to do but sometimes we need to clear the air. I've had to do it with a member of my family. I didn't do as well as I would have liked, but I tried and got it out. Good luck.
It's o.k. to write it out and have it close by in case you want to check what you want to say. Hope I have given you some ideas.
I'm here to vent..I have a dr.s appt on fri. It was actually for last week but I cancelled it. chickened out. So last month she had told me to check my BP often and bring my results to her...my BP was high at the last visit but not that bad...I didnt want to hear the exact #'s, so she didn't tell me.
So I thought today I'm getting brave and reading them. I was nervous ofcourse, but I ripped the paper i had covering the display off and looked back. They were all in the 130-140/90-95 range..pulses were ok..about 65-100. that's resting BPs....so i know its high but not that bad. But then I looked further back to last year when I started with my superanxiety and abdomen pains and some of the pulses read 45...39.. my B/P was 150/120...etc.. the super low pulses got to me...that freaked me out...the panic started...its still here...I'm typing a mile a minute. The sweat started...my worry is so high...I regret reading them. Then I am mad at myself for not being realistic and accepting that ok, maybe I have hypertension...ok.. I am going on 47, have anxiety, and it runs in my family. my father died when he was 56 ..he had high blood pressure for years .. ..and maybe those pulses were wrong ..maybe right.....I'm still here..If i had an anueysm last year..it didnt kill me..and obviously i didn't! and I didn't have a stroke...maybe my panic let to shock-like symptoms that caused the low pulse....Why do I worry so much...now I'm thinking about calling in sick and going back to bed. Why do i continue to carry this unreasonable fear of high B/P? Hypercondriac. A little knowledge is a dangerous thing. My goal is to take my BP and read it often..and accept the reading without panic. I obviously have not reached that point! But I'm a bit proud of myself..at least I read the numbers..sure, I panicked....but only at the ones that really indicate something is wrong...and I'm starting to feel better...the sweating has decreased..my head is not spinning..mind you i'm sitting here in front of the computer like a flasher...hahaha..curtains are closed...anyhow, sorry to rant on and on..but at least I know you all have anxiety and understand. I have to go get a shower and go to work...I am going to try to forget for my shift...how come I want to go back and reread the numbers...knowing it will increase my anxiety again...to test myself? But i wont though.
I found a new pic and added it just for you! I have to admit that this is not a photo that I took myself. However, one day I do wish to have a nice camera and learn photography.
Red, This photo is beautiful! I think I may start to look for a new picture. Yours is just completely beautiful. That orange is gorgeous. Did you take this picture?
My positive accomplishment will be searching and finding a new avatar---something beautiful.
This sounds like a good plan to me. Working on your place. A new relationship on the horizon with a friend who understands you, sounds real good to me. Maybe she will make you so more muffins!!! Your garden is planted and the weeds are under control.... It sound like you are starting to recover from you set back. Its good to hear that you are starting to feel better and are looking at the positive side. I would love to see a picture of your plants when the start to take off.
I am doing what I do every time life throws me a curve. I just take more pain killer and throw myself at something that needs doing. Anxiety level is very high. (set back) There is some confusion but I still function in the big bad world, I'm just a bit uncomfortable. The relationship died. It was not repairable and therefore not meant to be. It is Ok another one is developing with a friend I thought was just a friend, we shall see. Fate is fate and can only be steered a little not like anxiety which can be steered any where if I'm willing to take it. Anxiety hinges on me alone, it is not the fault of any one else even if it looks that way. Life goes on and I have full intention of joining it. But I could use some more sleep. I'm also trying to drop my Tricyclic, we shall see, I don't feel I need it right now.
Well there is my vent for now, and there is that negative word again.
Davit.
Ps Things are coming together. Almost every thing planted and the weeds are not too bad.
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