Today Ladycigevictor posted a great Letter to Family and Friends to help them understand what the new non-smoker might be going through, with suggestions of how they can be supportive. When I responded to it, the situation with my son came up to the level of consciousnes again, as did this other situation with my friend. I didn't want to muddy Lady C's wonderful post with my "stuff", so I'm posting it here.
I did speak my mind to a friend about a relationship she was in (never a good idea) and she still can't forgive me. I've apologized numerous times and have tried to let her know that part of "Why" is because of the quitting process I was going through, but to no avail. Maybe if I had been more aware of the possibility of out of control emotions occurring even months after the last cigarette, she and I would have been better prepared for my ill-timed and unasked for opinions.
My unasked for opinion-sharing occurred a few weeks before my outburst at my son, but the ramifications have gone on and on. The anger she has felt and expressed towards me have been major triggers for me. I was visiting her at the time, and when she first got angry at me for expressing my concern about her alcoholic boyfriend, I nearly smoked, but calmed myself down by reminding myself that smoking would not help anything, and then apologized to her.
After I got home she wrote and said some very hurtful things as well as again asking "Why". I again apologized and tried to explain that I shouldn't have been visiting when I was still going through the quitting process. I have since sent her some info on the emotional highs and lows, and still she comes back with "Why" and "How could You?" Each time it sets off a round of urges. Good practice for dealing with unpleasant feelings without smoking ; )
I think because I hadn't up to that point experienced much in the way of emotional ups and downs, I thought that wasn't going to be a part of my quit....lol....then around 1-2 months..bam! Things have settled down again for me emotionally, and I feel happier and more content than i have in years, although whenever I get another email from her it does spark a trigger...each time a little less powerful tho.
Anyways, just had to get this out.
-aloha
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B]3/22/2007
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 114
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 4,560
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $775.20
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 15 [B]Hrs:[/B] 23 [B]Mins:[/B] 25 [B]Seconds:[/B] 16
