It is a new day... Thank God!
We are playing the quitting game. Dad will go for long periods of time and then smoke. I really don't know how much he is smoking but in my opinion it doesn't matter because smoking is smoking. He is in constant withdrawal and I think we all know where this leads - back to smoking. That is probably why I'm so frustrated. Another thing that frustrates me is the fact that he has the patch but isn't using it.
I think I could deal with the negativity, anger, frustration and all the other emotions that accompany a quit if I knew we were on the road to recovery because I know that it passes. However, we are not on that road. We are standing at the fork in the road debating which way to go, and then smoking, and then debating. Its a vicious circle.
I am doing my best to stay out of the way and detach. I don't think I have been so happy to see a Monday come and go back to work in a very long time. We all need the space. I don't know what is going to happen but I do know that I cannot allow what Dad does to affect my quit. I also need to figure out how to deal with the emotions. Sometimes it just seems it never ends. One step at a time. One day at a time. When the desire to quit outweights the desire to smoke...he will quit.
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B] 7/1/2005
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 262
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 5,248
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $917
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 23 [B]Hrs:[/B] 3 [B]Mins:[/B] 2 [B]Seconds:[/B] 57
