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communication mom of 3

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communication mom of 3

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 538

Hiya Goofy,

That book sounds interesting. Thanks for the suggestion!

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 142

FOOD! with me it's cooking - favorite foods for birthdays and lavish thanksgiving, christmas - that's how i show love. i need to say it more, though, ephiphany last night, my son called and said he was worried that he might flunk a class and i said don't worry, you're smart.....and he said, mom just tell me you love me whether i pass or not! i don't talk much, write letters instead (must be less threatening?) but i have to remember to say "i love you"

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 3043

Has anyone ever read the book, about 5 love languages. I t discusses the way that different people communicate love. Like buying things for people, touch, verbal and if I had a good memory, I'd tell you the other two. It may be something to look at in terms of our significant relationships. I know my dad expresses his love by buying things. I've never heard him utter those three words. My son and I say words. In previous boyfriend/girlfriend relationships it's important for me to have touch. Sometimes it's a combination.

Sure do wish I could remember the other two. lol

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 538

Hi guys,

Thank you for the replies. a lot of your thoughts mae a lot of sense to me. You have given me much to think about and a new perspective. I really appreciate it! Thanks!

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 142

hi diva,
maybe you have trouble talking to him because he said your "style" was annoying and aggressive. you have that in your head every time you open your mouth. tell him how much that kind of thing hurts you and maybe he will be more sensitive!? sometimes in groups or people i don't know if i'm feeling intimatated in any way - picture everyone naked. i read that somewhere and it helps to put everyone on a level playing field. they're no better than you, you're no better than them.

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 3043

Just some ideas for you to think about - they may not apply at all.

feelings - you are trying to communicate feelings?

technique - he is not listening either, you both talk at once, etc?

intimidation - you care about him and you want him to understand and you are intimidated by the fact that you don't communicate effectively (makes the problem harder to resolve)?

afraid of losing someone - You are having serious conversations about serious matters affecting your life, his life, etc. The conversations with others are just opinion type things and are not potentially so life altering?

I don't know - somethings to mull over - may not apply!

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 538

Hiya Sarah,

Thanks for the reply!

I guess my big problem is not just that my communication style seems to be different around my husband so much as I feel like I have good communication skills except for when I am in a group (have trouble dealing with groups) and when I am with my husband. One on one I tend to communicate effectively with everyone BUT my husband! Why am I ok at communicating but I am a total communication ninny when it comes to my hubby? I don<t get it!

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 955

Diva, Communication can be a very difficult road to master. However, by the sounds of it you have already identified how your communication style differs from your husband's. This is a huge step! By addressing these communication differences head-on, you may be able to talk more openly with your husband about how to make these differences work in your relationship. Members, any other advice for Diva? Sarah, Health Educator

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 538

This thread is so great! So much good info. But I have a question to ask. anyone feel free to jump in and answer.

How can one be good at communication in some situation with some people and then horrible at it in other situations and people? For example, I did well in school with my active listening skils and such, I also do good with friends who need help and a shoulder to cry on...But when I try to communicate with my husband it somehow always turns badly and all my skills seem to vanish into thin air! Not only do I stop being able to express myself properly but it seems to me I can<t listen properly either!

The two things that seem to be clear in all this is that my husband finds my communication style annoying and agressive and find I do not liten to him at all. So how come I do well in other situations and I do so badly with my husband?

Oh and group situations...I shuddder at the thought. When in groups, like say a Bday party, my skills devolve dramaticallly...

Uegh, this is so confusing...

Anyway, feel free to chime in!

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 3043

That's funny Rose! And it's sad too - we don't know when to stop getting beat do we? By others and by ourselves.

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communication mom of 3