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Posts created by Teebs

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 286

Homesick

Spartan -

How far away are you from your old home? Maybe you can use some of the hours you're cutting back from work to visit with your mom and your dog. Is there a way you could brighten up your apartment, or something you could add that would cheer you up and make you feel more homey - add some house plants, or bring something from home, or put up photos of your dog? Just some ideas I'm throwing out there.

Some of my negative core beliefs are very deep-rooted as well. I'm just beginning to challenge them and it is intimidating, but I know it will be worth it in the long run, especially if it means leading an anxiety-free life! Try to use your frustration with your current situation into motivation to do something about it. If you hate the way things are, it's in your power to change them!

Teebs

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 286

NEW - Ask the Expert September

Loves trees -

I have also had a hard time pinning down what exposure is right for me because I don't always know exactly what my fears are. After several occasions of asking myself during a panic attack "What is it that you are so afraid of?" my answer is the same, I think - I'm alone and I'm afraid there is no one that is able to help me. When I went through severe withdrawal from an anti-anxiety medication 18 months ago is when this fear really came to the forefront. Previously, my safe people were able to "cure" my anxiety by being there. During and now after the withdrawal, this is no longer the case. I'm lucky that I have a few close people who are great cheerleaders, but I have also realized that the path to recovery is one I must take alone, and that no one else can make this happen for me. It's tough, to say the least. Give yourself permission to take it easy for a bit, and remember that we're all here for you!

Teebs

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 286

NEW - Ask the Expert September

Loves Trees - One of the things I've done to believe I'm not alone during the attacks is just what Sunny mentioned - have someone I can call and talk to for a few minutes during the worst of it. Both of my parents and my boyfriend are great supporters of me even though they don't all completely understand what I go through. They're always available for me to call and can talk to me about something distracting for a few minutes. Being honest with them about what I'm going through and hearing their words of encouragement that I repeat to myself during the hard times reminds me that I'm not entirely alone in this. Posting on these forums has also been really helpful to me, because the encouragements that comes here is from people who really do know what it's like. And, you can post at any time about anything and not feel like you're being a burden (Sunny I have that feeling too when going to others!)

In regards to telling people you suffer from anxiety, this has also been a really big deal for me. My panic attacks have been my "deep, dark secret" for so many years that opening up about it has been really hard. It's such a big step for me to say something about it to someone that I kind of built it up in my head that I wanted them to have a major reaction to my telling them, but this isn't always the case. Some people just won't understand, and that is hard to swallow, but you may find others who will be more supportive and understanding than you expect. It's hard because you kind of want to control who you get support from, but some friends you want support from may not be able to provide it, as you mentioned. I have had a hard time figuring out what becomes of these friendships after that....I've kind of categorized them as "fairweather friends" since they made no effort to understand what I'm going through or offer support.

I guess I'll just end by saying know that you will have support here, no matter what!

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 286

remembering the past

Sunny - Thanks for sharing this. It's interesting how different memories come up over the course of this type of personal work. Sometimes I think of one and something clicks about why I am the way I am, other times I wonder how much important to give certain memories.

One that just happened for me recently was when I was 7 and my best friend of 3 years moved away. I came home from saying goodbye to her and I was crying, and my dad told me stop crying. Remembering this vividly brought me to tears! Not due to the loss of my friend, but because I felt like that was the moment I started feeling like I had to hide my emotions, and that it wasn't okay to let emotions out. I'm just learning how to let things like sadness and anger out rather than bottling them up.

Love Trees - I've also had moments where I feel overwhelmed by an avalanche of thoughts, or even just tired of working on my anxiety issues so much every day. Like you said, distractions like hobbies are important in these times, to give yourself a break. I take time to journal (not as much as I should) and just let all my negative thoughts flow at these times, to get them all out of me and onto paper. Some patterns will emerge that can be helpful to identify negative core beliefs. Other times I just say "don't deal with this now" and leave it until a time when I can journal or meditate or otherwise focus on it.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 286

NEW - Ask the Expert September

Loves trees -

I go over some things with my support person when I'm calm that they can help remind me of during a panic attack. Some of the things I tell myself to challenge my anxious thoughts I have them repeat to me when I'm worked up. In an anxious state, I believe it more coming from them than coming from myself.

Also sometimes it's just a distraction thing, too, and we talk about something random or do a crossword puzzle or something.

Teebs

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 286

Myth or Fact?

Unfortunately, issues like anxiety and panic attacks certainly don't get the same recognition as conditions like other more physical illnesses. If I were to go to my employer and say I have diabetes, they would react with a compassion and understanding that you don't necessarily get if you go to them and say you suffer from panic attacks. It's always having to explain to people what it is that you're dealing with that gets frustrating to me.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 286

Left my compass in the microwave

Hi Kael Bean-

I also wanted to say welcome! You're right, thinking about getting better is an important first step towards recovery. We are all at different stages of fighting our anxiety, but this is a great support group, so definitely feel free to come here and vent or pour out your thoughts or ask questions about anything at any time.

Teebs

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 286

Accomplishments and other Postive Things

Red - You're an inspiration! Way to go.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 286

Literally, left out in the rain

Kael Bean -

You are always welcome to post anything at all here - I'm glad you were able to share this.

It is so tough when a partner doesn't understand what we are going through. Is he willing to read a little more about it to gain a better understanding? Maybe have him read Session 1 to get some more information about what it is that you're dealing with.

I hope that he will become a great supporter and cheerleader for you during your recovery. We had another recent thread (can't remember where exactly - sorry) about how support people are so great but that ultimately your recovery is entirely in your control. Regardless, you will find great support here, and know that we are always cheering you on!

It was a big step for you to leave the house, so don't lose sight of that as an accomplishment in all of this. Try to keep working through the program and do fill out the worksheets - I find that part really helpful.

Feel free to vent here anytime!

Teebs

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 286

Challenging thoughts of being crazy

Dawuad -

I too wanted an instant cure to my anxiety - I think we all do. Eventually we come to the realization that it will take time and hard work, but also that it will be totally worth it to work through the root causes of our anxiety (as loves trees said) and regain the freedom in our lives.

With regards to the program, I did too much reading and too much homework at the beginning too. It is important to work on it every day I think, but also to take time to do something else that you enjoy that will hopefully take your mind off of working through all this. You do need to put a lot of time into it, but not all your time - then you'll just wear yourself out really fast! Find something to do that you really enjoy. Take care of yourself as you work through all of this, because it is hard work.

Maybe try writing down anything during a panic attack, even if it is not what is happening during that time? It might get your thoughts flowing out of you and onto the paper, which might help reduce your anxiety. I have trouble figuring out sometimes what it is I'm so afraid of in my worst moments of panic, but writing freeform sometimes helps reveal some of the underlying issues and negative core beliefs.

I tried working through the program too fast at first, too. I found I had to start over, re-read the material more slowly, and give myself one lesson a week to really process the content and work through the homework as intended. It helped! I'm still in the middle of the process but am definitely making progress.

Keep us posted, and feel free to vent or ask questions any time!

Teebs

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