Lousy Day
Yep that's it based on my past week and now this week I'm going to change the name to Lousy Days!
I know I wasn't feeling like this when the GAD first reared it's ugly head. I'm beginning to think this thing goes in phases and the one I'm in now is getting very hard to deal with. Ok sure I used to get agitated at times but now it doesn't seem to let up, plus being almost hyperactive, overwhelmed and throw in some anger - what a cocktail.
Everything and anything seems to overwhelm me, people tick me off, situations tick me off, heck everything seems to tick me off now. I just don't know how to cope with this phase.
I have been through Panic Disorder where I was having between 7-8 attacks a day, & a lot of them were full-blown. I've been through the pit of depression so much so I even wanted to end my life a couple of times and all without meds. I'm not knocking meds for anyone it's just that I have done so much reseach on the possible side effects that I have frightened the wits out of myself and there is no way on earth I could take them. I would drive myself crazy after I took the first pill wondering what was going to happen to me and there is no way I could put my mum or myself through that.
So the battle continues everyday, I keep asking myself when will this end - will it end? Have I run the whole gamut on emotional disorders or is there anymore that can terrify, take control of my life and render me completely useless.
I can only hope that this is the last one and I will continue to have the strength to go on everyday. If I only knew how to fight it or as I have read so much - accept it.
Well I guess that's enough from me now, have to go to prepare for my computer test tomorrow.
