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15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 151

Lousy Day

Hi Ya Miki,, DazedMommy & jhori82:

Things are not getting any better for me although I continue to go to class everyday. I find school overwhelming, my mind is spinning just having to face going there. I'm sorry to be such a downer, even the slightest thing puts me into a tailspin.

I am constantly taking the wrong meaning out of what my mum says and get into arguments with her either that or I am not very interested in what she is saying. I get agitated so easy with her and then the guilt starts and then I'm in another tizzy.

I go to see the psychiatrist this Thursday and I'm hoping he can help. I am finding it harder and harder to cope with things in general.

I honestly don't see me getting better.

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 151

Lousy Day

Hi Ya Faryal:

Thanks for your reply. Sometimes I think the people on meds are better off than me, but I'm terrified of the possible side effects. Life just seems to be falling apart at the seams (ha,ha)

My mum usually is a very patient person, she has been through hell with me this past year and a half. She gets to a point she doesn't know what to do or say. I know it's very hard for her, she can't understand this disorder and how it ended up like this & neither can I.

I'm looking forward to seeing the psychiatrist, I never thought I would say that. But things are really getting to a pitch where this disorder is ruining both our lives.

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 151

Lousy Day

Hi Ya jhori82:

Thank-you for your words of comfort.

I can tell that you too have been there, but you seem to have past that point. If you don't mind me asking how did you accomplish that?

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 151

Lousy Day

Hi Ya jhori82:

Thanks for asking & how are you these days?

I really appreciate everyone taking the time out to give me your words of wisdom. Sorry I haven't responded sooner but I honestly didn't know what to say as I don't have a way with words like you guys.

Well I met with the psychiatrist on Thursday morning. I almost wasn't going to go because when I envision psychiatrist I automatically think meds. We went through my life story, he said my options areMindfulness, CBT, Psychotherapy, Breathing exercises and of course meds. Then he asked me if I wanted his opinion on what would be my best option at this point & guess what he said? You got it meds, at that point I really wished I hadn't come. He even said do you want me to write out a prescption now and then you can think about it? I quickly said no. You see my social woker already told him my background and how I was terrified of the meds but he was only too willing to write to script.

I left there feeling worse than before I went in thinking there is no other hope for me other than the meds. Since he was asking about my life in detail it got me thinking about a lot of things and then I got really depressed. So all and all not a good experience with him.

Thank God for all the caring people like youself on this site.

On a more positive note I am going to be attending an all day Mindfulness meditation tomorrow, so I'll see how that goes.

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 151

Lousy Day

Hi Ya Breanne:

I just came back from the meditation, wasn't sure I wanted to go, but ended up going an hour later. We did some sitting, walking and eating meditation but I was just too agitated to stay for the full day. Also my sinuses are really bothering me.

It started at 10am and ends at 3pm, so all and all I didn't do too bad. I will try again.

You know what I find that doing Tai Chi relaxes me so much more than meditation. I find that my mind is so focused on the moves that it doesn't have much chance to wander as much as it can in the meditation.

I will be doing the Tai Chi more often and have found a really good video on the web which I'm going to order this weekend.

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 151

Lousy Day

Hi Ya Joe:

I don't think I will be looking for a psychiatrist again in the near future, I see them as my last resort.

I don't know if you're familiar with Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction (MBSR), I took a 10 week course at a hospital round the corner from me last year. Well needless to say all I learned has gone out the window. One of the goals I made with my social worker was to go to meditation once a week & so far so good(except for one night I didn't go).

Here are a couple of links for the MBSR just in case you would like to check it out:

http://www.umassmed.edu/content.aspx?id=41252

http://www.mindfulnesscds.com/series3.html

I have been taught the Taoist form of Tai Chi which involves 108 moves, unfortunately at the time I was learning I was in a really bad depression and didn't contintue the training. I am trying to practice the small number of moves I did learn at least twice a day. I find it does relax my racing mind because I am concentrating on the moves & I really enjoy the slow flowing movements.

I just purchased a video (not the Taoist form) called Tai Chi for Seniors. Although I'm not a senior I checked out the website which has short videos of some of the moves and really enjoyed it. I have attached the link below:

http://www.taichiforseniorsvideo.com/

Oh well it's off to school tomorrow. My first english class essay is due October 6th, talk about challenges english was not a good subject for me at school.

Well I guess that's about it for now.

Take care.

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 151

Lousy Day

Hi Ya All:

Just thought I would share this with the group. I had an appointment with my ENT guy & was talking with his nurse. We got onto the subject of Panic, GAD and depression, she said something that stayed with me all that day. I wish I could day it has stayed with me but, oh well.

She said "Focus on the solution not the problem"

I am going to print it in big bold red letters and put it up on the wall to remind me.

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 151

Lousy Day

Hi Ya DM:

I actually have Calming Your Anxious Mind, it's a very good book. I gave a copy of it to my former psychotherapist who said he's going to use it in his practice. I am going to buy the other book for sure, thanks.

No worries about "Kare" .

Take care yourself and I really appreciate your uplifting words.

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 151

Lousy Day

Hi Ya Guys:

I thought it was a good quote but I tend to focus on the problem not the solution.

I have been thinking about quitting the school, I just don't feel in a very safe environment with all those people in the class. About 6 of them said they have a criminal record, 2 have been charged with assault. Not a good place to be, I'll have to see how it goes.

I have been feeling really jumpy, edgy at night and wondering what's going on now?

I have been eating a lot of chocolate lately, maybe this has something to do with the feelings? Anyone ever felt like this at times?

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 151

Lousy Day

Hi Ya DM:

Thanks I needed to hear that.

There are so many phases to this disorder you just never know!

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