Diva news...
Hey Wildcat!
I am diagnosed as more Panic Disorder and Agoraphobia And GAD (generalized anxiety disorder). I am also, atm, diagnosed and MDD, I prefer calling it burn-out though as I am a bit phobic of depression and in denial
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As for OCD, I was told by more then one psychiatrist and psychologists that I am not OCD, but I definetely have some tendencies to it but and sub-clinical and as such not really OCD. It doesn't hinder my life as true OCD would. But the tendencies are there so you did pick up on something and are very perceptive!
And yes, anxiety lately is getting the better of me lol. Hence why I take the meds. And Omaga-3. I think the burn-out is why the naxiety is worse though. Not sure. But even now my anxiety is way better then it was once! And yes, walking helps, a lot. sometimes I am just too tired and exhausted to go though! Bleh!
And yes, I have trouble with the meds as I know there are ways to control anxiety and insomnia though natural methods! So I feel guilty and lame for taking them. But without taking them, lately I am such a mess I can't function enough to do the stuff that helps with the anxiety and insomnia! Visious cycle! So I take the meds reminding myself it is temporary until the other stuff I am doing to help myself kicks in! But I still hate taking them! I see it as a presonal failure. don't know why as I am not anti-med! I have issues!
Also, I do know anxiety meds need to be short-term. And yet I do not take the anti-depressants. Then again am allergic to most of the good ones... My mind is running 300km/h non-stop and my life is falling apart lately and it is all I can do to fight and keep things working. I feel like everything is in a constant need of repair! Argh! It never ends. I am a hamster in a super sonic wheel!Ans the pills will help me for now but I still need to fix this. Pills don't teach skills! Anxiety pills anyway. they are for the short-term. So I need to fix this and pronto!
And yes, I do try to present the perfect front! I do like control or at least to seem in control! I am very hard on myself! Very hard. If anyone treated me like I treat myself I would fire them as my friends lol. I am a bad friend to myself! I am so mean to myself in my head always thinking I should do more and better and more perfect!
Anyway, engough of me venting. Thanks Wildcat for the insights and helping me bring my thoughts and reflexions further!
) and still got up at 11 am! I felt like come on I need sleep! But then I was awake and kinda hyper still so I had chamomille tea and breakfast and started my day lol. Still kinda hyper. My mind is racing and I feel so hot, I wish I had an icepack lol. On the up side, This hyper feeling kinda makes it harder for me to feel sad and depressed! Up side to everything I guess! And as Wildcat once told me, I should accept this is another part of myself expressing itself! Anyway, If I try to resist this and all that it just makes me anxious. So I am just going with the flow and I figure eventually my body will calm down. Oh and I am being careful not to bombard my husband with non-stop quick and loud chatter though it is tempting! When my mind races I feel like communicating lol. so here is me rambling on forum.
