Hi Everyone:
Rose thank you for asking. I had a good appointment with my shrink. He believes I have bipolar1 or hypomania. He was going to put me on elavil but I told him I am on lamictal for pain and he said that was the same family. I tried elavil a few years ago and had a bad reaction. The dr said it was worth a try and it takes a while until the dosage works to its full strength. He also is going to make arrangements for me to see another shrink for a second opinion as bipolar is not his speciality, it may take 2 months but that is okay. He is so busy he doesn't have anymore time for me except every 6 weeks for 30 minutes. At least he heard me and he really knows it is different this time. I am a warrior and survivor and I will be okay as I know I have people that love and care about me. I will be working on this CBT program and asking for help to get thru this if I need it.
Tonight I had my "first date" with my niece, as she lives down the backlane from me, and on Sunday she came over and told me we are going to spend one night a week together. Tonight she made tuna casserole and it was great and we talked and she lent me dvd's to watch. Next week they are coming to my apartment for dinner and I will be making a fish dish.
Her mother I think may be jealous as this niece moved away to Windsor but now returned and got a job. My sister really upset me today because she thinks bipolar is the same as DID and I don't think that is true. Her attitude was I and the family knew you had depression (bipolar) and it is no big deal. I do not like her attitude and I became strong and was upset, had a shower and then went for dinner to my niece's. I am trying to think where it came from. I am liked and loved by alot of people and she has a bad reputation. She does not know anything and she wonders why I will not talk to her.
I have 2 friends where we help each other as we suffer from fibro, bipolar and pain and understand and help each other. In fact on Mondays all 3 of us are going to a regular relaxation and stretching at Mood disorders. We are also joining the social group for mood disorders. I tried to tell my sister that I will not be embarassed any longer to say I am going to mood disorders.
My sister is offended I will confide in my friends but I don't want my brother or cousins knowing. It is my right to ask for privacy but the pattern is she does what she wants and does not care about other people's feelings. I want to do nothing to do with her, but Christmas and Christmas Eve is at her house and she is toxic but I will wait until Monday to talk to my counsellor. I am trying to think where it is coming from as I have this group and I know people care about me. Sorry for the long email but I am hurting but I am strong and thank you for listening. I have been on the internet and I know alot about depression, as my shrink says I could teach a course on recovery and depression. At least I have professionals and friends that care and a brother in another city and this online group. I was sick today with the flu and I just took it easy and did not work my 2 jobs and I know the special needs students care about me. That is what is important to me, not my sister and her far out ideas.
and you can guess by my friend here I had a wild ride this summer!
so I dosed up on the caffine energy drinks and went to work!!!!
