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Browse through 411.747 posts in 47.053 threads.

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15 years ago 0 910 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Diva news...

Hi guys,
 
This morning I feel very sheepish, verging on shameful. I am sorry for all the excessive posting last night. I am slowly coming down from this state. Yes, it feels like coming down off of something. I can't explain it. I wish I could explain what I went through and what I am going through. I feel like I was and yet was not myself. I can't explain it. All I can say is I am sorry for my behaviours. Coming down from this state I often have to do that apologize. Sorry.
15 years ago 0 910 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Diva news...

Oh andplease just disregard whatever else I wrote, It was long and probably repetitive and boring, rambling prattling...you get the point. Sorry again.
15 years ago 0 910 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
My cat

I feel silly for coming on here and writting this. I keep feeling as if I should be over this. But today on the 8th ( I have not gone to bed yet, to me it is still saturday...), it had been three months that my cat died. I felt like somehow I needed to commemorate this. I miss him a lot.
15 years ago 0 910 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I gotta get this done

Hey goofy,
 
Isn't it nice to have a therapist who can call us on that stuff? I find it so much more productive! As for being here you are most welcome and thank you to you for being here for us too! Feel free to vent about this as much as you need we are here to listen!
15 years ago 0 910 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
My father... was diegnosed with heart failure

Hey Sheba,
 
Thank you for the update. It is nice to hear that it is not as bad as you expected and that with some changes he will be fine! Please do keep us posted about this and how you are doing with it!
 
I am also glad you have come to realize this is not your fault! HE should take care of himself!
 
Hang in there and feel free to come to us for support anytime!
15 years ago 0 910 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Diva news...

Hey Goofy,
 
Thanks for what you said. I felt so silly and sheepish I needed that and you are right!
 
Hey Karen,
 
Thanks for the reply and the reassurance. It really helped.
 
Hey Rose,
 
Thanks for making me feel better about my rambling!
 
Maybe I am sabotaging myself. I do not know. But I will definetely think on it and try and figure it out! But yeah, I have been told different things by different doctors. I have even had psychiatrists do diagnosis on me and give me meds without giving me a clear idea of what their diagnosis of me was! As for the diagnostic, I am not so much sick of it as i find it unimportant. All I find important is learning tools that will enable me to feel good and happy . Oh and yes, that psychiatrist did tell me I was too screwed up to ever get off medication. He said it in french but it boiled down to that! I think he is the one who needs meds! Bugger him, numbskull! and yes, that is like that psychologist and what he told you. Btw, that was not a great thing for him to say, to say the least!
 
As for clonazepam, I am glad it helps you so much. Do you also take an anti-depressant? If so which one? Me I have clonazepam for anxiety and zopiclone for sleeping. The clonazepam is PRN and the zopiclone is supposed to be once a night.For now I have been taking it. As for my liver or kindeys, I didn't even think to worry about my liver or kidneys. I don't drink at all and I don't take enough meds to feel particularly worried lol. And yes, clonazepam works well for me also. I get good results with not too many side effects. I am glad it helped you get your anxiety under control. I am sorry to hear your anxiety was so bad. I understand that. I have suffered from generalized anxiety disorder and Panic disorder with agoraphobia since my early teens. Some people are depressed and it makes them anxious. I am mostly anxious and it drives me to depression lol. If you know what I mean. So I totally get the whole anxiety being out of control thing. Therapy helped with the anxiety. and so did the Panic Center. The program there is great! I am also sorry to hear your anxiety felt like mania and that you are afraid to be  bipolar. Have you spoken to your doctor or therapist about it? Me, I am not bi-polar. that is at least one worry I do not have. But I do know that states like I was in the other day are not my anxiety either. It feels very different from my anxiety. Sometimes it wears on me and brings anxiety but it is not the same. I wish I had words to explain it. But oh well I don't. I am not sure it is hypomanic either. I was just told it might be. What I do know is how it feels, that it is not anxiety, that I don't feel so much like myself during that state and that I don't know how to describe it lol! The description I gave before in the earlier post is the closest I can get to it.
 
I am glad to hear you might not need to be on meds for the rest of your life. I do agree with your doctor though that you should wait to feel good and stable before tapering back! As for it being a crutch, so what if it was! The important thing is that it enables you to do the work you need to get better and that is all that matters! It really is. As for having a lot of issuees join the club!
 
Rose, thank you again for the reply. Thanks for giving me stuff to think about and for challenging me and my ways lol. I appreciate our exchanges. And by trying to explain my views and experiences to you, it enables me to put them into words and try and understand them and myself better. So thanks for reading my lenghty post and for giving me cha
15 years ago 0 910 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Diva news...

Lol wow I got cut off!
 
Was saying thank you for giving me challenging, kind and supportive replies! Thanks for the support!
15 years ago 0 910 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
My cat

Sometimes it feels weird how I can have a good day and still miss him so much. Sometimes I almsot feel guilty for moving on. But then I remember Oscar is a happy cat and I figure me being happy is good. I guess we move on but we don't forget. I miss him a lot still but the memories make me smile more now instead of making me cry as much. Oscar is a good cat.
15 years ago 0 910 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Progressive Muscle Relaxation: Your Feet and Legs

Wow Rose,
 
69 days! Fantastic! I really have to get back to walking again. I let that go and am paying for it. I just lost motivation...I do intend to get back to it. I think you should be very happy with yourself!
15 years ago 0 910 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
My cat

Hey Goofy, Rose and Faryal,
 
Thanks so much for the replies! It means so much to me. all your lovely and kind words.help a lot. Thank you for sharing about your mom Goofy and thanks for sharing about Tommy Rose. That means a lot to me, it makes me feel very much understood.
 
A happy memory of Oscar, hmmm...:
 
When I got Oscar, well I got him with his sister. They were both so tiny they could each sit in one of my hands! They both has a cold pooor things. So they would cuddle together and wipe each others noses on each others backs! LOL! I was sneezed on a few times too!
 Oscar was always the cuddliest one. I could hold him like a baby! At night he would curl up on my chest, near my heart and fall asleep there. He was so cute. A little purring white fluffball! Sleeping next to my heart.
Oscar was deaf. When he was a kitten I thought he was a llovely cat but a bit dumb. He would get lost in the house and then if we callled him he could not find us by sound like his sister did. He would sit there and miaow till either us or his sister went to fetch him. I thought oh he is so cute but a bit daft. Then one day my uncle clued in. He banged a huge pot next to Oscar's head while he was sleeping and Oscar did not even wake up or budge. His sister who was in the other room jumped off the couch and hid though!
Oscar was the kind of cat who would sit for hours on your lap and just purr. He loved to lie down in sunbeams and take a nap. HE loved food! He liked cheese a lot. I couldn't give him much cause it is bad for him but he loved it.
When I was sad or anxious or lonely, Oscar was always there for me to hold. HE would stay in my arms for hours and just purrr. He was so patient. He was good with kids too. Did not bite or scratch whatever they did. HE was a pacifist. He rarely fought with other cats, he just wanted to play! And he was a big cat he could have won a fight lol.
He used to love to chase leaves. I would leave a door window open and he would hop out of the window and go out and hunt leaves. He would catch the beautiful autumn leaves and he would lay them down at me feet like gifts! And he would look so happy and proud with himself.
He was such a good cat. Everyone loved him. The people at the vets loved him, strangers who just met him loved him, I loved him. He was that kind of cat, always nice always sweet, just happy and purring. And so beautiful!
I miss him terribly. I miss holding him next to my heart and letting him purr. He was like a teddy bear cat with a great loving personnality. He is a good cat. I hope he knows I think he is a great cat and I love him and miss him. I hope he is happy and at peace.
 
Thanks for asking about him. It means a lot.
 
As for my other Cats I have two of them. I have Oscar's sister. She is a spanish (Calico) cat. She is quite beautiful. Her markings on her face make her looks like a lady with pretty makeup on the eyes lol. She has big eyes. She is shorter and stouter then Oscar was. Then again Oscar was huge, tall cat! Charlotte, she was always more reserved. She needs to be in control. She lets you pet her only when she wants to be petted. You can brush her only when she wants. She wants food when she wants it. She is a lady. She is so quiet. At one point I thought she was mute! She used to love playing fetch with wine corks but now she has arthritis and does not run much. She loves cheese like her brother. She will run for that...She loves food! Well ài should say she loves food except the food she is supposed to eat...She like red peppers and blueberries and kidney beans and brocoli....In her old age she has grown more cuddly though. Muvh more cuddly. And since Oscar passed, things have changed a lot. For some odd reason she comes

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