The dizziness started last week, at that time it was just at bedtime and when I woke up. As the days have passed I feel it more throughout the day/night. I feel as if my eyes at times are rolling around in my head, it frightens the wits out of me.
It's comical (well actually pathetic) anxiety causes dizziness and dizziness causes anxiety, it's a vicious circle. Now days everything bothers me, I complain from day to night. I always speak negatively, nothing seems to make me happy anymore. I can never seem to relax. I just feel as if the battle isn't worth it, it's too much.
At the college I''m attending I feel as if I am in the twilight zone. You see I have a guy who has spent most of his life in jail, a couple who have been in/out of hospital and the one that really frightens the wits out of me is a person who was sitting next to me yesterday in class. She said she's a witch, not a bad one but a good one, she knows spells, she doesn't believe in god, she likes nature. I have never in my life been exposed to this. You get to the point you don't want to look at someone the wrong way.
I am more confused than before I started school and overwhelmed just with going to school and being in a class full of who knows what kind of people.
So at this point I don't see the nightmare ending anytime soon.
You remind me of myself a while back! What does the dizziness feel like? Is it always there or at moments when you get up from bed? My dizziness felt like I was slowly falling back and I couldn't keep a balance... I had to have a certain stance to make sure for myself that I wouldn't fall. Also when I focus on something it felt like my eyes were going cross eyed... is yours the same as mine? Eventually, I felt tension in my shoulders and back neck and throat. Then my temples and sinus areas and the area right around the ears... and my back teeth started hurting. This was all when my anger and anxiety was at it's peak. I didn't notice myself at how much I'd bite down when I'm anxious and angry so all the tension went to my head and shoulders. Now that I've resolved so much of my problems.. the dizziness really went away! It gets me angry though because it made me scared all this time that something was wrong with me in my body. And I hate to admit that it may have been because I focused so much on it, it got worse. And I can see how angry you are about your anxiety. I feel like you feel guilty about it and this is EXACTLY what I felt before too. I know those exact words how you said you wish you were just not there for your mother. My husband was really angry at me for having the GAD... and this put extra guilt on myself. It sounds to me that your mother seems a bit angry about it too. I know we tend to rely on our most comfortable person for that support but, because I really relied on my husband about it, it made it worse for me. I had to learn the hard way that I'm on my own on this, after he stopped loving me. I said this in another thread, but my sister told me "you have to love your anxiety". It's really hard to do so because it's been the enemy for so long... but it helped me sooo much to think of it as another part of my limbs. It's harder to accept it when the one we rely on the most is angry about it... it makes us feel guilty and puts a lot of pressure. But you can't blame your mom, you only have that gift to understand this all. I hope I don't sound harsh or anything in anyway... and I don't know if I'm making any sense. I hope you find peace with it.
Sounds like your really going through hell right now, I can relate to the feeling. Btw, you don't have to take meds, it's more of an option to help assist you in getting better. And the nightmare will end, the fact that your getting help alone shows that. It could take some time for hell to cool down, but the time you take now, will make your time later that much better! Keep at it!
I am sorry to hear you are having such a rough time! This can be so hard to deal with! On top of it fighting with your mom must make things harder. I do hope you two resolve this quickly.
I just wanted to srop in to say, I had to deal with that, GAD, Panic Disorder (PD?) and depression. I know the kind of cycles that can get created...But there is a way out. There really is. Even now as I am having a rough time, I still feel so much better then back then! I used to be incapable of working, of staying alone of taking care of myself, of working,...I could barely get rhrough a day! I could't leave my house...Now I work and I go to school and I take buses and eat out alone! So even in the tough times my life is so much better. This can get better, the nightmare ends! and wanna know what helped me most throughout my life? CBT. Yup, CBT. I am a firm believer in it! So hang in there! you can do this. If I can, you can!
Thanks- for your reply. Sorry to hear you had the same experience, you're right it's so scary. To me pain is one thing but dizziness frightens the wits out of you .
It's not only hard to believe that it will get better but impossible. You see I feel like this is a vicious unending circle for me. It started off with Panic Disorder last March, then Depression, then GAD and back to bouts of Depression and Panic.
All I can think at this point is when will this nightmare end?
Were were speaking but with me being an emotional roller coaster we just had another row.
I just saw an ENT guy on Friday to have my ears syringed and there was no sign of infection. I was also at a doctor today & they checked my blood pressure, I couldn't believe it - normal! She also held up her finger & asked me to follow it with my eyes & that also was fine. She really didn't spend much time with me.
Thanks for the suggestion regarding other possible causes of dizziness. I will go to my family doctor to have her take a look and order some tests. I am very curious though how on earth does high stress cause dizziness?
I actually have an appointment to see a psychiatrist later this month, my social worker set it up. Apparently first time patients get 1 hour for the appointment. He is supposed to be a very open minded doctor who doesn't push meds.
A this point I can't see anything getting better because of the anxiety, agitation, anger. It's been a year and a half from hell, there is no other way to describe it. My poor mum what she has to go through with me, sometimes I wish I just wasn't here then she wouldn't have a problem.
Glad you and your Mum are back on good terms . That helps soo much .
As for the dizziness , yep was like that earlier in the year for weeks . It was so scary and exhusting . Still get teeny weeny bouts of it now but nowt bad . I cant remember why it went , think its was because i pushed myself . Lke when i went to the shops , i made myself go in for longer each time .
Hope you feel better tommorrow , you will feel better in time hard to believe but you will .
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