Talulha:
My heart goes out to you. Although I would never tell another human being that I know how they feel, in this case I will say that I have a fairly good idea. Do not lose hope, the smoking dragon is not as big and scary as you may think. I know that you can do this and I also know deep down inside that you know that too. Continue to learn all that you can about the subject. Once you begin to understand how nicotine works in the body, you will begin to walk a straighter path toward cessation
Right now, cessation must seem as elusive to you as a smoke ring in a wind tunnel. The operative word here is seem. Never forget that this is an addiction. That is why your hand is reaching for another smoke even as your mind is telling you that you are poisoning yourself in the process. I was not able to end my addiction until I recognized that quitting is not a passive activity. It is not simply a matter of "not smoking". I do not believe that people can just quit any more than I believe that a person can hold their breath for a life time. Well actually they can but it would be a rather short life time. The point is this. We smoke for a reason. We get something from smoking that other people who have never smoked get without smoking. Out bodies where not created with a need for nicotine. Nicotine is not listed on Maslow's hierarchy of needs (at least not on the original one).
Nicotine has set up a home in your body. It has tricked your neurotransmitters by posing as a particularly important one, acetycholine. When we smoke, nicotine enters the body and creates the allusion of well being by stimulating the release of the feel good stuff like dopamine and other morphine like substances. It is our job as cessation seekers to find out how to make that happen without nicotine. That is what an addiction is. It is the need for some substance or another that rewards us with the promise of "feeling alright". But if you think back to a time before you began this little dance with the devil, you will know that you did not need nicotine. Of course you didn't, nobody does. So take time to learn about what you are dealing with. If you do you will be able to combat it in a more effective matter. After all knowing the enemy is the shortest route to victory.
In terms of things you can do to combat the initial withdrawal, which by the way is a relatively short period of time (physical withdrawal) here are a few suggestions. Always, always, always have cold water with you. Drink as much of it as you can. It will on the one hand cleanse the body and on the other make the craves less fearsome. There may in fact be some link between dehydration and the desire to smoke. I have never seen this documented, but I can tell you that water worked for me. The second greatest help for me was physical activity. I ran and ran and ran until I could run no more. This distracted me from smoking but also increased my supply of dopamine so that I realized I no longer needed to kill myself in order to reach a state of well being.
There is a saying that goes round here and it is something like this, "you must want to quit smoking more than you want to smoke". I know that seems rather simple and obvious, but it is not. There is a heavy psychological component to leaving the addiction behind. It brings on many changes. I am convinced that everyone smokes for a reason. That reason is known only to the individual and must be discovered by the individual. I know it may not seem so now, but the fact is that you are begining a wonderful journey. Once you have gained some confidence out there on the high wire, you will begin to see yourself and perhaps your world in a different way. I for one am glad that you have chosen to do this.
stay well
nonic
My Mileage:My Quit Date: 12/25/2006
Smoke-Free Days: 1313
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 39,390
Amount Saved: $13,786.50
Life Gained:Days: 257
Hrs: 0
Mins: 20
Seconds: 43
