YAY! I am so happy for you! Sometimes it is scary standing up for what you believe in but in the long run, your true friends will accept you and your request. I could tell from your post that you are the one that is making a change that may not be completely acceptable for others in your community, friends, family, etc but eventually they will catch on and realize how bad smoking is. In this case you are the leader and you will be the first champion amoung these people. With this post, you have made me realize how extremely blessed we are here in Canada that smoking is really considered a disgusting habit and is not as accepted as it once was. I believe it has been 5+ years since they have banned smoking in bars, etc. The new law is that any person smoking in a car with a child will receive a hefty fine. I cannot even imagine subjecting a child to something like that.....it is so abusive considering we know how bad smoking is. Remember, a smoker does not want to be inconvenienced when smoking but if they are your true friend, they will understand that you are not trying to hurt them or make things difficult for them but that not having smoke around you is what will keep your quit strong! Don't give in....you are better than this and deserve so much more!
Remember: Be Calm, Be Strong, Be Grateful.
Much love this holiday season to you and yours! All the best!
Hello Talulha Good idea letting the smokers know that your place is now off limits to smoking. Think about how much more enjoyable it's going to be. You've come so far now with your quit. The non smokers will thank you as well. Think of the thousands of cigarettes that you haven't smoked and be proud of yourself. Yay for you. breather
Hi Natailie, Breather and Tiana, thanks so much for answering my "help"!
Yes Natalie, I live in Spain which is one of the last bastions of smoking, thank goodness the new law comes into effect on Jan 2nd which prohibits smoking in bars etc. It's not popular at all and we'll see how long it lasts! I took very much to heart yours and Breathers comments and after some thought decided to send a mail to my friends and family who are coming for dinner, I do it every year so it's nothing unusual but this time I added a PS, I basically said that our house was now a no smoking house in anticipation of the new law and that they were all free to smoke as much as they liked but in the street. I'm not going to put my quit in jeopardy for anyone or anything....I've worked too damn hard to get here! It's been 4 months now and I'm still not smoking and I intend to stay that way! I've had my acceptance mails but no-one has mentioned not being able to smoke! It'll be interesting to see what happens on Xmas Eve and Xmas day......I'll keep you all posted!
Hi! It sounds like things work a little differently on your side of the world. Here in Canada, smoking is no longer permitted indoors at bars, pubs, public events, etc. This means that people have become a little more accustomed to going outside no matter where they are. In Canada, it would be considered extremely rude for a smoker to expect to smoke in a non smokers home or vehicle. Even friends that use to be able to smoke in my place or around me have adjusted to smoking outside and not around me. I am not sure if it is more acceptable in your culture to smoke everywhere, anywhere and regardless of who is around (somehow I got that from your post and the fact that you are in Spain, but I may be wrong!) but I don't believe that it has to be that way. As a smoker, we think that it shouldn't matter that we smoke around non smokers, or in homes, vehicles, etc but as non smoker I think our thoughts and feelings change and we are more sensitive to knowing that smoking (including 2nd hand smoke) kills and that it stinks, etc. It is super gross to be in a small room with 5-7 smokers whether you are a smoker or non smoker. When you add on the fact that you are a newly quit individual who is trying to keep their quit strong, then I really do think that people should respect that. Regardless, of what happens I hope that you keep your quit. Come up with new coping strategies since this situation is a little unique and remember that no matter what YOU do not need to smoke. Stand up for yourself and don't let the others pressure or convince you to smoke. This quit is about you and you are the one that wants to be quit so stay strong....you really can do this!
I think your explanation to your friend was a great one! And good for you for thinking ahead to protect your quit! Breather is correct that your friends should respect your wishes as well as show understanding for your process. Perhaps you could have some NRT gum handy for those who don't want to brave the cold?!
Hello Talulha I would have explained to my freind than I'm not " holier than thou " and guess what ? SMOKING IS NOT ALLOWED IN MY HOME. Freinds respect your property and wishes. Family and freinds that come to my house automatically go outside to smoke. It's called common courtesy. Sad to say but smokers are second class citizens now. At any rate it's your call. Have it how you want it or don't have it at all. To have a bunch of people smelling up the kitchen isn't very respectful to you or the others that don't smoke. I would advise beforehand that smoking isn't allowed so there is no misunderstsnding. Excellent for you not smoking now. breather
Hi does anyone have the same problem? Yes it's Christmas, I've got people coming round for Christmas Eve dinner (it's a big deal here) and then for Christmas lunch, the problem is that out of the 12 people at least 7 of them smoke. The last 4 months I've asked anyone who came to visit to smoke in the kitchen, I had the windows wide open and extractor going so the smell didn't get to the rest of the house. The problem is that my kitchen is small and it's impossible for 7 of them to smoke in there, and to be honest I don't want them smoking in my house! I live in a flat so I would have to ask them to put on their coats and go down to the street. I tested the waters out a few days ago with a friend and the answer I got back was " oh God, you're not going to be one of "those ex-smokers" are you?" Meaning someone who suddenly starts waving their hands in front of their faces and becomes the "holier than thou" type. I explained that I'd only been stopped 4 months and it would be difficult for me.
I don't want to offend my guests but how do I get out of this one? I can just imagine the dirty looks and the big sighs and comments if I ask them to go downstairs. help!
It wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be!! There were a few times where the old "oooh I could do with a ciggie" came to me but to be honest I just stayed away from the groups of smokers and got on with enjoying my night. Yes I did leave earlier than planned but what the heck....I didn't smoke!!! here's to the next one!!
Hello Talulha You're right that this is a biggie. The first Christmas party I went to in 2008 I had agonised over for days. As it turned out my worries were unfounded. As a non smoker now any time we win another day our self confidence goes up and after this party is over with you will know that you have done this before and it will become easier every time and every event. If alcohol is a trigger try not to over indulge or better still don't tempt fate. Have a plan to leave the party ahead of time if it all becomes too much to handle. Go , test the waters and have a fun night. You're a non smoker now. Excellent for you. breather
Hi all, I've got the annual Xmas office party tonight and I'm a little concerned, it's going to be full of people smoking, drinking and dancing and I'm thinking oh my, this time last year I was one of them! Anyone got any ideas? It's a full blown test, this is a biggie!
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